Game 87: The Unkindest Cut

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 5, Detroit Tigers 6

The last time Detroit swept the Red Sox, it was 1992, the year the Sox fielded the worst team (73 and 89, with a sweet .451 winning percentage) since 1966; a team that was so bad it's gone on to be the worst Red Sox team in 41 years. That's not to say the 2007 edition of the Olde Towne Team is anywhere near as bad as the 1992 edition, or that the 2007 team is even a bad team; it's just an indication of how much the Sox crapped the bed this weekend.

After decreeing a night of excellent pitching and no hitting on Saturday, the baseball gods swung things over and turned Sunday into a slug fest, complete with a Matsuzaka meltdown like we haven't seen since the end of May. Actually, it was worse than that far-off day in May, because Dice-K never had a rhythm to fall out of as he careened from batter to batter and hit to hit like a drunk stumbling home after scoring the Mezcal worm. After the fourth inning this game was dead to rights over, with the fifth and sixth becoming mere mourners at the graveside...

Until just as suddenly, the order of things snapped around and the Sox started hitting well and pitching even better. Timlin, whose eight inning scoreless streak beggars the imagination, continued his dominance over two (two!) innings yesterday, keeping the Tigers in check while Boston clawed its way back into the game. Lugo jacked one, Jeff Bailey (I know! Shame on me!) jacked one for his major league hit and the Tigers started going through relievers like a nervous teenager through clothes before a big date. Top of the ninth, Tigers leading by one and on comes Todd Jones, closer extra-ordinaire. Jones hasn't been as effective this year as he was in 2005 and 2006, so there's a good chance to blow things open and steal the come-from-behind win.

Two singles and a throwing error mix with a pair of outs to put runners on first and third with two out as J.D. Drew comes to the plate. He's drawn a walk and scored a run today, but the 0 for 4 hangs over his head as he takes his cuts. First pitch: foul ball. Second pitch: strike on the inside corner. Third pitch: Jones leaves it out over the plate, high in the heart like an offering to Drew's bat. He swings, he connects, he...pops out. Damn it. Forget what Shakespeare said, this ending was the unkindest cut of all.

Game 85: The Evening After

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 2, Detroit Tigers 9

One thing I've noticed about blowouts is that unless the offense delivering the beating - a.k.a The Beater - is "go get a bucket of water they're burning up" hot (a standard of offensive prowess measured not in wins, but in sweeps, plural), they'll always come back to Earth in the worst way the next day. We're talking full on post-beating hangover, with a couple of runs scored if you're lucky. In fact, if The Beater is really unlucky, they'll immediately go into a four or five game slump because they're so worn out from punishing The Beatee.
A sidebar: determining the crossing-over point from offensive explosion to blowout seems to be something in the range of a ten run advantage, where The Beater's starting pitcher goes six or seven (or more) innings without surrendering more than a few runs. Number of at-bats might also be a factor; if The Beaters come to the plate five times and start sending in the scrubs in the seventh inning, you know a blowout is taking place.

The Sox suffered the expected post-blowout hangover today, coming up wretched against the Tigers right from the start. Tavarez went from the crazy-eyed psycho with the surprisingly low (for a fifth starter) ERA of 3.48 over ten starts to a shell of man shelled for eight runs (including a grand slam to Marcus Thames) over four and two-thirds. My guess is that Comerica Park doesn't have a clubhouse conducive to blood sacrifice and JT Killer missed his regular "contribution" to the baseball gods.

Meanwhile, the already tired offense went into a bit of a super scrub mode. With Papi benched (but only for tonight; he has to make sure Manny gets to San Fran) and Youkilis in some kind of quadriceps limbo, Francona did the lineup shuffle, mixing in career minor leaguer Jeff Bailey (Jeff who?) to play first in place of the (now) over-worked Hinske. Bailey, described by Francona as someone who "looked to me like he could hit someone who’s throwing decent" ("You're gonna like him. He's a good kid.) turned out to be just as stymied by Tigers rookie Andrew Miller (Andrew who?) as the rest of the crew, but he's got working-class hero vibe written all over him, so the papers love his story. I have no doubt we'll hear all about the virtues of never giving up on your dreams over the next two games and then, unless he hits something fierce, we'll probably never hear of Bailey again.

Anywho, moral of the story: you always pay the Piper for a blowout, Detroit needed to win this game far more than Boston needed to avoid losing it, everyone's in break mode and we'll now be lucky to win one game this weekend. Go Sox!