Monday, May 29, 2006

Game 49: How to Know When you Suck

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 6, Toronto Blue Jays 7

Somebody let this guy know what we already know

Lots of things happened while we were gone and in the game today. Schilling got his 200th win, Sox swept the Rays in game 48, Coco is finally back (got his first HR in a Sox uni too), Timlin is on the DL with a sore arm, Wily Mo is DLed because of his wrist, Mohr is in AAA (bout time), Delcarmen is back with the big club, Manny was resting his back, but has returned and Boomer is going to miss his next start…shocking absolutely nobody. The Jays meanwhile are slowly pulling into the upper echelon of the AL East and continue to be a thorn in the side of Boston. The Sox are now 3 and 6 against these Canadian punks.

But I don’t want to talk about any of that. The only thing I want to focus on is how much Matt Clement sucks.

I am not usually known to be a “hater” when it comes to my team’s players. I give some of the lamer/crazier guys a hard time (yeah sorry about that Seanez, Tavarez and Harris), but normally I don’t mean too much by it. This isn’t the case with Clement. He is just AWFUL… and I really hate him. In his latest pooch screw he only went 3 and a third, but still managed to give up 7 hits, 2 walks and 6 earned. He was so bad that even the (almost) great comeback by Coco, Manny and Tek wasn’t enough.

Clement just picks around the strike zone throwing junk with such bad location that I probably wouldn’t swing. Then when he gets worried or rattled or upset or anxious or hungry or WHATEVER… he throws meatballs right down the middle. It’s painful to watch and it’s only getting worse.

So why does he suck so much? He claims his pitching motion is so complex that he has trouble repeating it over and over. Then the little changes he adds or subtracts to the motion drastically change his pitch speed, movement and location. This means he has trouble throwing the same pitch twice. This can be trouble when you don’t trust your stuff to begin with.

It’s also been said he’s hurt. That may be, but if it was from liner he took last week how does that explain the other bad starts? Time traveling sports injuries? Isn’t that what happened to Scott Bakula in “Major League: Back to the Minors” or was that a Quantum Leap episode?

My theory is that he is just a head case. He can’t handle pressure, he can’t handle men on base and he can’t be any more of a wuss. This guy wilts quicker than the house plant my roommate’s cats use as a bathroom. The front office needs to pair him and J.T. Snow together and make a deal for someone who can pitch every fifth day without fainting.

That’s enough ranting. Beckett needs to step up and knock Chacin and the Blue Birds down.