Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Game 131: sM*A*S*Hed

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 0, Oakland Athletics 9


Look… underperforming down the stretch is one thing (one thing that HAS been going on), but when they finally put this dog of season down, the “wounded in action” list needs to be factored into the failure:

Coco- A broken finger and now his shoulder is weakening an already weak throwing arm.
Tek- Knee surgery has sidelined the captain when they need him most.
Wily Mo- Wrist surgery and now the after effects.
Trot- His annual injury was a bicep and infection rather than his back or knees. Shocking.
Wells- Bad knees on a fat man. Do the math.
Belli- Bad ankles on a fat man. A similar equation.
Manny- Hurt knee, bad hammy and 100 reporters up his ass.
Foulke- Shoulder issues made him miss most of the season.
Beckett- A cut finger… yeah that’s right. A booboo. Wanna fight about it?
Lester- A sore back and now 15 days to rest it.
Youk- The flu (might turn into the plague if this luck holds up).
DiNardo- A bad neck and a bad pitcher (zing).
Clement- Out for the year with… wait what is it again? Didn’t he just suck?
Lowell- Missed time from fouling 90 balls off his ankle.
Ortiz- Heart trouble (now spreading through Sox Nation) and now gets more tests.
Timlin- A bad case of “freaking old”.
Gonzo- A right oblique strain.
Wake- A broken rib.
Lt. Col. Henry Blake- Shot down over the Sea of Japan.

Ok, you get the idea. A ton of people are/were hurt. This doesn’t even include the aches and sprains that are going undocumented OR all the AAA guys that might have been called up more (Stern, Alverez) if they weren’t so hurt. It’s a disaster. It’s like an artillery shell hit Fenway during BP… no… that wouldn’t be as bad as this. If someone yelled “DUCK! SHELLS!” Wells would have taken the full blast because he would have thought they were serving duck stuffed shells in the outfield (I shouldn’t kid… he’s the best pitcher now).

So now we’re dealing with CARLOS Pena (just called up), Pedroia (a year early), Eric Hinske (waivers), Javy Lopez (waivers), Cora (utility bench) and Gabbard to shut down the red hot A’s? HA! They were lucky to get the 6 hits! Foulke came in just in time to give up 3 moon shots and put the game completely out of reach… but I think 1-0 was pretty much out of reach too. But it wasn’t like it was all one sided. Boston still managed to leave 10 men on base.

They were over matched. It wasn’t even a laugher. It was embarrassing. Can’t even talk about it. Let’s move on… to what, I don’t know. Go AAA Sox. Ugh.