Monday, January 31, 2005

Who knew we were a bunch of communists?


"Q: Bill, my nemisis. Remember Vietnam? You know, tiny country, only known for one quasi-victory, then for the most part faded back in to oblivion? Remember they were dominated by the French (as homoerotic as that sounds), then eeked out a win over the US after spending hundreds of years in the way back seat to Europe and the U.S.? See the analogy I am trying to make here, Bill? You see, the Yankees are the United States ... they have the most money, they have the biggest weapons, and they, for the most part, never lose. People love to hate the U.S., just as they love to hate the Yankees, mostly because people wish they were born in the U.S., and people wish they were born to fathers who knew enough to root for a winning team, and not for a bunch of choke artists that have not won a series in their lifetime. Every once in a while, a nobody team like the Red Sox, like Vietnam to the U.S., will come along and remind the U.S. that while certainly dominant, they are not unbeatable. And then what happens? Vietnam, like the BoSox parties for a while, gets drunk, loses the face of their team to the Mets, and, in the words of the great Tyson, fades back in to Bolivia. Meanwhile, people will keep hating the Yanks, will keep hating on the U.S., but its all good, cause now all Vietnam does is make shoes for NIKE. Love you.
--Chief Macho, NY, NY

See, that's everything I ever wanted in a reader e-mail -- insane, delusional, funny and improbably coherent, and all from a guy who calls himself "Chief Macho." The bar has been raised."