Funeral March

ALCS Game 2: Boston Red Sox 8, Tampa Bay Rays 9

It has taken me over 24 hours to write this because... well I dunno... maybe I just can't accept that the Sox blew that game so badly and I certainly don't know how to put it into words. I could write tomes about the failures of this hobbled ghost of a pitcher that calls himself Josh Beckett. I could narrate epic poems about the shell of David Ortiz. I could even wax frustration over the scrappy Tampa line up that just seems to happy and excited to be here...

But no... I will avoid all of this to talk about Mike Timlin: the second closer on the Red Sox staff. When I say "second closer" it really is the opposite of everything a closer is. He the ANTI-closer. The BIZZARO-closer. The closer from the dimension where Kirk has a moustache. When Timlin enters a game it means the Red Sox DON'T WANT to win. It mean Francona looked at his watch and realized he would rather be asleep... and called in Timlin to put the game away... one way or the other (and it is ALWAYS the other). His entrance music is Black Betty... but it should be a funeral dirge. A march of the soon to dead.

Look, I am not doing this to bash Mike Timlin. The guy is (was) a horse for us. He has 4 rings for heavens sake. He helped bolster the Sox bullpen for years.... but those are years past. Long past. I feel bad about it, but he has no place on a competitive baseball team. After last nights disaster... he should retire before the World Series if the Sox make it or not.

That's enough vitriol. I want to move on to Jon Lester and his cancer killing pitches, I want a win in Boston and I want the drama taken out of this series. Is that too much to ask?

In Retrospect, Fun WASN'T Had

This final game against the Rays made me eat a bag of pain and crap a fountain of sorrow. It was poorly managed (bad pinch hitting and running choices Tito) and lacked any type of clutch hitting that could be imagined... I want to run and hide from that damn Rays Bullpen... why did they look so good?

Ugh. I am too tired to go into detail, but Mike Timlin... you are done baby... done, done, done.

Laughing at Trade Rumors

Ah, the trade deadline; a time when teams stop, reassess their position, and make the decision to upgrade their arsenal or find the best way to screw their competitors with a fire sale. With Manny's name flying around the rumor wire like a kitten chasing a laser light we're looking at a particularly vibrant crop of rumors this year, but there are a couple of other areas (*cough* bullpen *cough*) that deserve some attention, too. Here's my thoughts on the latest rundown:

• Manny for Miggy: Wasn't this trade a bad idea two years ago? Why would it be any better now, when Tejada's not only having a subpar season, but has in fact become a demonstrably poorer hitter in the two years since 2006 and is only likely to get worse (Mitchell Report, anyone?)? Revising DC's metaphor from the time, trading Ramirez for Tejada would be like getting 75 cents on the dollar. And I'm being generous. Good thing both sides have shot this rumor down.
  
• Manny for Andruw Jones: So laughable I'm not even going to comment on it. I will, however, mock the gentleman who suggested (in the comments section) that the Sox trade Manny for Jones, Chin-Lung Hu, and Andy LaRoche. I understand that LaRoche is supposed to be a bit of the second coming, but since neither he nor Hu have been hitting very well (to put it mildly) and Jones is a bit of a joke and the Sox would need to replace Manny now to have a chance of getting to the playoffs this season, I'm not sure why that deal is anything close to a good idea. Good job, buddy. We're all glad you're not in the GM's chair.
• Manny to the Mets (for prospects): Same general problem as Manny for LaRoche and Hu, but worse because the prospects aren't named, preventing me from judging their relative value. Besides, the Sox aren't rebuilding, they're trying to win another ring. Everyone does understand why trading for prospects is a bad idea during a playoff run, right?
• Ron Mahay / Doug Brocail: Mahay was pretty good with the Sox a decade ago, though his K:BB ratio and WHIP did start to get pretty ugly in 1998. He's also phenomenally streaky, but importing a replacement part with an ERA+ of 140 percent above average for 2008 definitely has my attention. Brocail is far less enticing: his best years were in the late 90s, he gives up a run for every three men he allows on base, and he's 41, which kinda makes him like a Mike Timlin the Sox would have to trade players to get. On the plus side, he does have almost a strikeout an inning...I still can't see the value, though. It's also unclear who Boston would lose to gain the services of either one of these two pitchers.
• Jarrod Saltalamacchia: Salty hasn't really proven himself to be much of a hitter in his first two seasons, but he's also playing backup backstop to Gerald Laird and his Bat of Power, so he hasn't really had much of a chance to shine. Coming to Boston might give him the chance to improve his eye and train to be Varitek's eventual successor, but can he catch a knuckleball?
  

Game 93: Let's Go

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 6, Minnesota Twins 5

I'll admit it: before the bottom of the eighth inning, I was going to write a post about how, all things considered, it was a better thing than not that Jon Lester matched Matsuzaka's total from last night by pitching seven and a third innings. Sure, there's the whole matter of the four runs and the man left on base who became run number five, the dangerous lack of offense and the looming possibility of a loss that would squander the opportunity to gain more ground on Tampa Bay were all concerns, but I was feeling stoic. Or stupid, I'm not sure which.

Anyway, no worries on that score, eh? One moment it's Matt "The Warrior" Guerrier on the mound, looking fierce and trying to kill a rally in the making, the next Drew's dribbling in a run and Manny's smacking the long bomb and grinning like Sylvester after a post-Tweety gourmet. First pitch, high fastball, by the way. I believe the phrase you're looking for is, "a storm's a brewin'." Particularly exciting for me, but for some reason I thought of Guerrier as a formidable pitcher, particularly against the Sox. His average of two runs per inning lifetime against Boston says otherwise, however.

And then Papelbon - oh, dear Papelbon, with your Cinco-Ocho sneakers and your gameface, which looks so very much like a trout possessed by a demon - well he was pretty much balls nasty, too. Really, if you're ever going to crush a team's morale and make them regret playing small ball, giving up a leadoff double before recording three outs - including the wasted out on the bunt - is the way to go.

By the way, I guess the Sox really are serious about making Masterson into the setup man of the future: Theo's not particularly excited about the idea of cleaning out the farm to get a well-known reliever. I certainly have no problem with that idea - I was talking the situation over with a friend of mine recently and I couldn't come up with a player I'd want to trade just to get that edge - but I (still) think the move to be made is for long relief; a veteran - off the waiver wire, perhaps, or through channels that don't require any particular sacrifice - who can fill a backup role and serve as a role model for all of the kids that Epstein's pinning his hopes on. Someone like Mike Timlin, I guess, but with less wear and tear and able to pitch more than an inning every fifteen days.

Game 90: Silver Lining?

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 1, New York Yankees 2

I'm a little conflicted. On one hand, if we're going to lose a game, at least it was a exciting one with a nail-biting finish. On the other hand, Julio Lugo just struck out with the tying run 90 feet away - with the bases frickin' loaded! - after the Sox squandered two chances to break down Rivera and score the second run they needed to push the game into extra innings - or at least the bottom of the ninth. So yeah, little conflicted, a little unsure about how to handle what just went down. Might feel a little better if Sean Casey could play shortstop; I'll take his lack of history against Rivera over Lugo's poor history. He can't though, so I'll take that disappointment and aim it somewhere else.

I know: I'll focus on the positives. Pitching, for example. Masterson might not have won today's game, but not for lack of trying. He might have even come away with the victory if he had kept the ball out of the air more often, or not hit batters like they were going out of style, but still, two runs is nothing to sneeze at. Good Red Sox starting pitching is nothing new though, and these days I'm far more likely to dwell on a poor start than crow about a good one - no need to get repeatative, after all. But starting pitching isn't what's got my blood going today; I'm all up about the relief corps. Mike Timlin, specifically.

Mike Timlin (and his snappy comebacks) came on in the eighth for his first relief appearance since coming off the DL yesterday. His job: keep the Yankees from scoring another run so the Sox could come on in the ninth and blow three chances - ahem - have a shot of taking the lead. His success rate: 100 percent. Bottom third of the linup to be sure, with three guys hitting a combined .241, but since we're so desperately focused on staying positive, I'll take Timlin's successful return as a silver lining. Every comeback has to start somewhere, right?

Game 77: Too Soon?

No official commentary - or even speculation - about why Dice-K's command was so poor yesterday that reporters noticed it during his warmup tosses in the bullpen, so I'm feeling free to make up my own reason: Matsuzaka might have been physically fit enough to return from his rotator-strain-induced hiatus, but he wasn't psychologically ready for anything bigger than a simulated game with a member of the Red Sox coaching staff at the plate and John Ferrell calling out advice from the coach's box next to first base.

How else do you explain someone going from hero before his DL trip to zero his first day back, handing out walks like a Tammany Hall politician handing out free meals for votes, coverting baserunners to runs so quickly it revises ideas about relativity, digging one of the biggest holes Boston's had to try to escape from this season, all - and this is the really impressive part - in the course of one inning and some change. Bad day at the office doesn't start to cover the gap: he just wasn't ready to return, and I suspect he's only back because Colon is on the DL and there was no one else to pitch - an ironic situation when the Sox have so much quality starting pitching lying around. Why not bring back Buchholz? He seems to be doing pretty well in AAA...but that might be a solution anyway.

By the way: did I call Timlin on the DL or what? Of course, because Timlin is such a huge badass, he a.) won't admit his knees are the source of his recent pitching problem and b.) didn't want to take the time off anyway. If the schizophrenic duo of Delcarmen and Hansen can continue to hold the fort while he's gone, I think we shouldn't have too much to worry about.

Game 73: Disastrous Lack of Long Relief

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 2, Philadelphia Phillies 8

There is a problem with the Red Sox and tightness: somehow they keep tightening up at odd times, like say, right before a game starts. Makes me wonder what the trainers are doing or not doing to cause all of this muscular distress. Past few days it was Manny - not that his absence mattered against the joke that is the Cincinnati Reds - today Youkilis felt the stinging lash of back spasms before game time, and then Colon...well, let's just say that the only way his back pain could have come at a worse time would have been if he'd been mid-windup and seized up on the mound, somehow letting loose a wild pitch that scored four runs, blowing a lead that led to a one run loss. Actually, if only: at least we'd have had an entertaining, painful loss.

Instead, we had Mike Timlin, looking like a plucked chicken on the mound. It occurred to me in the middle of Timlin's latest meltdown that we have no middle reliever: we gave him up and he's resurfacing in the land of beer. Instead, we have whatever guys can serve in a tough situation, including a power reliever who's been in pro ball for more than twenty years and pitches like he's got back tightness of his own (by the way, if he goes on the DL, you heard it here first). The result is a write-off like tonight's disaster, where the offense makes Cole Hamels look like a pitching genius after giving up back to back dingers and we waste bullpen appearances on a game we have little chance of winning.

So: we need a middle reliever for odd situations like this one. Anyone have any suggestions about where to look?

Game 68: What to Do About Timlin?

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 6, Baltimore Orioles 3

How do you tell a hero he’s washed up? What do you do to get rid of a guy who’s been a significant part of 2 World Series wins? How do we let Mike Timlin know his services are no longer needed without him hunting us down with his bow like Van Damme in Hard Target?

Now don’t get me wrong, the Sox won this game handily. 5 runs in the first thanks to a Drew double (so hot he’s officially a second sun) and a Tek 3 run blast (apparently he was sick and left early) that supported a sublime Colon start. The Big Guy went 6 strong and picked up his 150th career win. Make all the fun you can about his weight (and boy do I) but Colon has been a substantial pickup for Boston. With Dice K and Buchholz hurt and Beckett under performing, Colon has stepped up when we needed him.

All that being said, there is NO reason that Papelbon should have been in this game. Leading 6-1 in the 9th, Timlin comes in and falls apart. A lame Pedroia error didn’t help matters, but Timlin let as many runs in as he had outs…2. Anyway with the tying run at the plate, Francona put in Paps to get the final out and put some air back in my chest.

It’s easy to add Timlin to the list of relievers that have had rough patches this season (Oki I am looking at you) but it’s almost more that that. It looks as if Timlin has lost his fire, his demon edge. His contract with the Red Sox is up after this year and I think it’s time he moved on to greener pastures where he can hunt all the animals he wants. Sad… but true.

Game 57: Totally Necessary

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 5, Baltimore Orioles 2

You hate to see a team lose a game because of costly errors. Stupid, unsightly errors (three in one inning!) and sloppy base running (Kevin Millar! Embedded Red Sox! Incidentally winning the game for us once again!) by the other team just make you feel like you've been cheated out of a hard-won victory, that the baseball gods, in their fickle fashion, have granted you something you don't deserve out of spite or caprice.

Who am I kidding? The way the Sox have been hitting lately, I'll take a win any way I can get, three unearned runs or no, particularly when the regulation portion of tonight's game - and its bevy of missed opportunities - are factored in. Eleven men left on base: that's the total of tonight's blown chances to score runs against an increasingly wily Daniel Cabrera, who's either finally gained effective control over his fastball, or is extracting his vengeance on me for dropping him from my fantasy team like a hot potato back in April.

Fortunately, the entirety of the pitching corp, from Beckett to Papelbon, pitched the like the pros we've all been pretty sure that they are. Beckett - with the exception of a wild sixth - was the strikeout pitcher we know and love, complete with misplaced pitch that wound up over the fence and six innings of two run lock down. Okajima was his charming self for an extremely helpful two innings, while Craig Hansen pitched a phenomenal inning and two-thirds where he not only kept men from scoring, but even killed off an inherited runner. It was like I'd died and gone to bullpen heaven.

Both sides will hope for long outings by their starters tomorrow, but what I'm hoping for even more is that by capitalizing on tonight's opportunities - even if the Orioles eventually had to offer them with double-dipping exaggerated courtesy on a silver platter (three errors in one inning!) - Boston's bats will finally wake up and score runs. It might well be totally necessary.

Game 25: I Abuse Alcohol, the Sox Abuse Me

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 4, Tampa Bay Rays 5

Let’s put it this way… I took a drink every time the Red Sox should have scored and a shot every time they allowed a run they should have prevented.

Wake… runs… no… Cash… damn… crap… allowed. DRINK.

Sox basses juiced and (hey can I have a triple shot of…) damn no runs again… what the hell is wrong here… DRINK.

Hey look! It’s my favorite punching bag Lugo taking a routine ground ball off the heel of his glove! Another run? Fill me up barkeep!

Aardsma+Lopez+Corey=NO DRINKS? Must be getting buzzed cause that doesn't make any sense.

Extra frames… big Papi you are so clutch when you… what? Why are you sliding head first into first base? I know I’m wasted but… Huh? DRINK.

I think Timlin is trying to kill me. Oh my god… here he is again. What do I have to sacrifice to make him go away forever? Forget the 2004 and 2007 games… what can I do to make him leave now? Nothing? Damnit… I would have paid good money for something… DRINK another cause the game is over… ugh.

Fantastic. It’s my first “Pass out drunk” game of the year. A few more of those and I can get a Red Sox logo tattooed on my liver. Happy days! Now excuse me while I make a head first offering to the porcelain God.

Game 23: Sick Sick Sick

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 4, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 6

Call it a super bug. This freaking flu has downed Tek, Beckett, MDC and now Dice-K. Lowell is down with his wrist injury, Coco’s hammy still sucks, Cora has his bum shoulder and now Youk is out stiff neck. So starting for the Sox this week could very well be you, me and Dom Deluise. But on the bright side, they called Craig Hansen back up! Oh wait… that’s not much of a bright side.

So instead of 4 game winner Dice-K, we get the embattled Jon Lester and his 10,000 pitches… oh and he only has 3 days rest. You can imagine how this one turned out.

Actually it was a lot closer than I thought it was going to be. Lester pitched 5 innings and gave up 4 earned, but walked far fewer than his usual allotment (he did give up 9 hits). As for the bullpen, well…

Hansen + Lopez + Timlin = just enough to lose.

That crew gave up 2 runs, one from Hansen right after a Papi homer tied the game at four and one by Timlin late to ice the game. As much as I love the late inning comebacks, the Red Sox bats cannot carry them with out SOME bullpen help. Especially now that the whole roster is so banged up. Sox need to heal up… and quick.

Game 16: Vomit Inducing Hideousness AKA Another Series in New York

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 9, New York Yankees 15

There is ugly, butt-ugly, fugly, SUPER fugly and then there is this game.

But wait, are we doing this again already? This weird home/away schedule means that the Sox play the Yanks 5 times in 7 games. It’s almost enough to wear down the hype a bit. I guess the biggest problem I have is the fact that Buchholz gets stuck going up against Wang again. Kind of unfair that the rookie has to take on the Yankees ace twice in a week.

Well he didn’t have to suffer long. The Yanks beat him soundly and early for 7 runs in 3 and 2/3 innings. The fast ball didn’t have the bite and hits were sprayed all over the field. It was hard to watch.

And then Wang followed suit almost to the letter. He was walking every Sox hitter, giving up big doubles and left with 8 runs of his own in just 4 innings. Combined line for these two? 7 2/3 innings, 17 hits, 15 runs, 4 BB, 4 K. Yeah… and then it REAL ugly…

Both the Sox and Yanks pens were less than perfect, which is like saying Paris Hilton’s SAT scores were less than perfect. Olendorf couldn’t hold the lead for the Yankees as he replaced the troubled Wang. This would have put a smile on my face if Tavarez didn’t give it right back to them that INNING! The throwing error by Lugo (who needs to be run out of town… seriously… he brings nothing to this team) didn’t help, but the heap of the blame needs to be put on Tavarez. His pitching was as rough as his complexion and even more uneven.

It took Aardsma for the Sox and Hawkins for the Yanks to put some ICE on this fire. Both pitched very well and tamed the rampaging bats in these lineups. Then, like adding gas to smoldering ashes, Timlin came in to put the game WAY out of reach. Boy oh boy does he look toasted. After the dust cleared, the Sox couldn’t get it done against the Yankees bullpen… you know… ACES like Olendorf, Hawkins and Bruney. Meanwhile the Yankees stomped all over Tavarez and Timlin.

I can’t stand it. Just so many disasters in this one, but it always seems this way when the Sox venture into the Bronx. I cannot wait for them to knock that freaking building down. I only hope they accidentally destroy the new one too.

WTF is a Guyner?

While browsing RedSox.com, I came across this note in the "releases" section: "Boston Red Sox sign free agent RHP Terumasa Matsuo from Shikoku Island League in Japan." It was right above a notice that Timlin just landed on the 15 Day DL, so I made the logical leap that Matsuo is a replacement reliever. Not so: he's a starter, and he's now on his way to Fort Myers to get stretched out. Reading between the lines, I'm thinking a cheap secondary rotation insurance policy to supplement the risky primary policy (Colon) and bulk up the list of available arms as the Sox prepare to enter a stretch of twenty straight games next week without a fifth starter.

I don't know about the relative quality of play in the Shikoku Island League, but Wikipedia notes the league has 132 players on six teams and started three years ago, so I'm guessing something equivalent to a Minor League team. I do know two things, though: first, Matsuo doesn't sound half bad; he pitched 5.1 innings a start last year, and he's been good for a strikeout an inning for the past two years. Second, the Shikoku Island League has some of the best team names and logos in all of baseball: besides the Guyners (and I've yet to find a good explanation of what a Guyner may be, although I'm really hoping - based on the logo - that it's some sort of giant green demon), there are the Mandarin Pirates, the Indigo Sox, and the Fighting Dogs, whose mascot seems to be sporting the sort of collar Michael Vick might approve of.

What to Do...What to Do

It wouldn't be a hot stove season at Keep Your Sox On unless our pal DC had a few pearls of baseball wisdom to dispense to the fortunate masses. Here's his take on how the front office is doing as they gear up for the 2008 campaign. Enjoy...

I've been promising to give my opinion of the off-season needs of the Old Towne Team ever since the World Series ended. So why am I so late in doing so? Well, let’s just say that living with Robin can apparently make you lazy through osmosis. So yeah, I know Theo and the boys have already done some things but its never too late to chime in. So without further ado, we might as well start with what’s already happened...

Moves Made:

• Schilling Re-signed – I would have approached this exactly as the front office did. The pitching market this off-season is as dreadful as Ron Jeremy’s physique, so why wouldn’t you throw a one year deal at Schill? Even if he’s no longer a top two guy, he's still a workhorse who competes, drives the rest of the pitching staff, and wants to win. Maybe he can even teach young Clay how to put a little meat on his bones.
  
  
• Lowell Re-signed – This too was ideal in my eyes. I was saying during the World Series that they should offer the Cuban George Clooney a 3 year deal with a club or mutual option for a 4th. Turns out, they got the man with the golden glove for 3 years without the option. So now we all win, Lowell gets paid, the Sox get a World Series MVP, we all get to enjoy his flawless defense and my girlfriend still has someone to think about while we’re in bed...yeah, don’t ask.
  
  
• Wake’s Option Picked Up – This was a no-brainer! Timmy Knuckles continues to be one of the biggest bargains in the league. The guy gives you quality innings, saves your pen, and is one of the vets who keeps things loose. Wake’s option will be picked up every year until he decides to hang it up...and then hopefully he’ll go teach the knuckleball to our A and AA squads.
  
  
• JT’s Option Picked Up – Much like signing Schilling, this makes total sense. The free agent relief pitchers this year are like a who’s who of crap. The devil that you know is much better than the devil that you don’t...particularly when the devil that you know is nuttier than squirrel turds and a quality relief option.

Work To Be Done:

I like the strategy that Theo and the moneymakers seem to be following. In short, secure the starting line up, re-arm the bullpen and then fill in the bench. So let’s look at these three tasks in order:

• Starting Lineup – With Lowell signed, the only decision to be made is who’s in center field. Personally, I like Coco. The guy is a freaking vacuum in center field, only if a vacuum was jet-propelled and was able to fly through the air like Bobby Orr. That being said, Jacoby is clearly the talk of the town and is clearly talented. Sounds like a no lose situation to this guy.
  
  
• Bullpen – As of right now we have a pen of Paps, Okie Dokie, MDC, JT Killer, Javier the Lesser, and Franken-Bronson. Unfortunately a quick perusal of the free agent market leaves you feeling like you just ate a crate of Hot Pockets. While optimistic Sox fans may have faith in the emergence of Bryan Corey and Brendan Donnelly, the reality is we’re talking about a 34 year old with only 3 years of experience in the bigs and a guy coming off Tommy John surgery. So, the front office is going to have to rescue some arms off of this year’s free agent scrap heap and they already missed out on the likes of Kerry Wood, David Riske and Scott Linebrink. Here are some viable options:
  
  
• Mike Timlin – This guy is quickly becoming the ageless wonder. Just when we were all writing him off this season, he came back and cut through more lumber than Paul Bunyan. As long as Tito doesn’t overuse him, he'll be great for 2008.
  
  
• Jeremy Affeldt – Managed to rejuvenate his career for this year’s NL Champs and he’s one of the few free agents who’s actually under 30.
  
  
• Ron Mahay – I don’t know...why not? I trust him more than LaTroy Hawkins.
  
  
• Bench – At this point our bench consists of Alex Cora and the aforementioned Ellsbury. That means we probably have 3 spots that need to be filled and they most likely need to be an outfielder, catcher and utility guy...
  
  
• Catcher – I know somehow Belli fell out of favor with the Boston fans. But here’s the deal, no other guy in the league is a sure thing when it comes to catching Timmy Knuckles. There is no youth available so you’re not getting Tek’s future replacement this off season. So why not go with the sure thing?
  
  
• Outfielder - Bobby Kielty: that huge home run in the World Series has got to be worth something right?
  
  
• Utility - Rob Mackowiak, Eric Hinske, Mike Lamb – None of them are going to carry a team any time soon. But each will give you innings at multiple positions and they all have experience starting games if need be.

Irons in the Fire:

You didn’t think we could go through this roundup without discussion of the blockbuster trade rumors, did you? Honestly, the Santana trade makes me uneasy because of the size of the contract that it will take to complete this deal. $25 million a year is a lot of money for any pitcher. At this point, making a trade for Erik Bedard is more enticing. This trade will cost the Sox fewer prospects and less money. In fact, the ideal move here would be something along the lines of Lester, Coco, Jed Lowry and a mid-to-low level prospect for Bedard and Kevin Millar. This gets Theo the splashy pitcher that he wants, solves the need for a utility guy and makes Boston the most fun-filled clubhouse in the league again. Everybody wins! Regardless of who the Sox trade for (Santana, Bedard, Haren) the real concern here is what does this mean about Dice-K? Do Theo and the boys no longer see him as Schilling’s replacement as 1A to Beckett’s 1?

I Want My Funeral to Be a Rolling Rally

How do you describe pure unadulterated joy? How do you comprehend that feeling when it’s experienced by a whole city? And PLEASE someone tell me how NOT to get caught up in it! The emotion is just too strong to fight. You just take the wave and ride it into shore. The comforting arms of a city that has had its dreams fulfilled… a second time.

Unlike 2004, I was lucky enough to partake in the rolling rally this time. What a majestic sight to witness 50,000 people celebrate something that they have followed religiously for a whole year. I felt like I was mashed in a tuna can the size of Government Center with a couple thousand of my brothers. Brothers that when cut, would bleed the names of every player to ever don the Red Sox laundry. Brothers who skipped class, work, hospital appointments and if they could, their own funeral arrangements to be part of a city wide party.

By the time the duck boats cruised my way, I was comfortably compact with the rest of the mob waiting to catch a glimpse of heroes. I rubbed elbows with an elderly couple from Newton excited that they were able to attend two such events in their lifetime. I met Sam, a banker from Miami who flew up just incase there was a game 6 or 7 and decided to stay for the rally as the best consolation prize ever. I even helped 9th grader Evan start one of the MANY “Re-sign, clap clap, Mike Lowell, clap clap” chants that forever dogged the procession. Sox Nation had the biggest town hall meeting ever… and they want to make it an annual event.

When the core of this slithering amphibious line stopped in front of my position, the roar of the crowd was deafening. Newly appointed dance instructor and official rockstar of the Boston Red Sox, Papelbon was joined by the Dropkick Murphy’s and a very inebriated Mike Timlin. To make good on his promises, Papelbon wearing a tartan kilt, grabbed a Rockie sweeping broom and danced, air guitared and embarrassed himself into another collection of unflattering poses. It’s just too bad everyone was too busy enjoying it to make him stop. He was a man about town that had suddenly brought the town to him.

As of this point, I am not ready to discuss signing, firing, quitting or trading of any member of the 2007 World Champs. Just please gimmie a few days or more to enjoy the party while it lasts.

Like when Youk when asked about the future of many of his free agent to be teammates his reply was simple and complete: “no comment.”

I agree. I’m too busy loving life right now to worry about next year… at least let me clean the confetti out of my clothes.

2007 World Series Game 1: Don’t Stop Me Now

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 13, Colorado Rockies 1

Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time /I feel alive and the world turning inside out, yeah! /And floating around in ecstasy

That's a pretty damn good start. Call it Red Sox momentum, call it Rockies rust, call it whatever you want but it was still a pants-down spanking of world serious proportions. I don’t want to say anything too awful about these Rockies, because it’s not nice to pick on people you don’t know… and I still don’t know ANY of these Rockies players. Well, whoever they are, the 9 days of rest seems to have snapped them out of their hot-streak.

Blood was in the water and the Sox bats played the part of Jaws. Right out of the gate Dustin “the littlest rookie who could” Pedroia smashed a Monster shot and grabbed the Sox an early lead… one they never looked back from. I mean, are you kidding me Colorado? That’s your “Ace,” your #1, your big shot? Wait… wasn’t this supposed to be a pitching duel? Francis got absolutely OWNED by every single member of the starting lineup. It wasn’t pretty. And the bullpen? Like I said before, I have never heard of those guys, and now I know why. Every Sox starter but one (Ellsbury) got a hit, every starter but one (Lowell) got an RBI and every starter but 3 (Lugo, Pedroia and Ellsbury) got a double. The Sox had 8 doubles (tied a WS record) in the night, they had 13 runs (sets the WS game 1 record) and had a 12 run victory margin (sets WS record). These jokers even managed to walk in three runs! Unreal. When you take candy from a baby, at least the baby has the decency to cry about it. The Rockies pitchers didn’t even manage to look that tough.

I'm burning through the skies, yeah! /Two hundred degrees /That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit!

Speaking of pitching, the Red Sox could have scored 11 fewer runs and still walked away with this one thanks to the mastery of the gladiator named Josh Beckett. 4-0 in the playoffs? Check. Post season ERA slightly lower than Kevin Millar’s blood alcohol content? Check. Another World Series win under his belt along with 9 fresh strike outs? Big freaking check. The guy is a man-amal: half man, half animal. And that animal? I think it’s a grizzly bear cause he tore through the Rockies like a top of the food chain predator. It is a down right pleasure to see this guy blow away hitters. Beckett retired the first 4 batters by way of the K and could have pitched much longer than the 7th if it wasn’t for the fact that the Sox were already up by more than a touchdown.

Unlike our purple clad adversary, the Sox bullpen looked great considering we were using the B-squad. Timlin and Gagne didn’t allow a base runner in either of their innings of work. You know it’s a great night when you get text messages like “I feel good about Gagne” and “hey I think it’s Gagne time” or my favorite “If Gagne isn’t too busy crushing children’s dreams, I think he could pitch in this game.” Hell, I was happy to see him.

Anyway, do I think every game is going to be this one sided? Of course not (see: yes) but I think the Rock-mes may be a little overmatched. Maybe it’s the lack of World Series experience (only Wily Tavarez has seen action) or maybe it was the roaring Fenway crowd, but the Rockies looked rattled. Their tale of destiny now rests on the shoulders of their game 2 starter, the mighty Ubaldo Jimenez while the Sox have to turn to some guy named Curt Schilling. I heard this Ubaldo guy had some good stuff (I did not hear this) so this could be a good one… but I might have to lean towards the Red Sox in this match-up. They just look unstoppable.

Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time) /Don't stop me now (Yes I'm having a good time) /I don't wanna stop at all

PS: Thanks, but no thanks Rudy. Sox Nation doesn’t want you.

Game 153: Rehab

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 1, Toronto Blue Jays 6

That’s where the Red Sox are gonna send me. To freaking rehab. I am gonna be a burnt out shell by the time this season is over. The daily stress from being a fan of this up (the highest heights) and down (getting swept by the Blue Jays) baseball team is turning me into a zombie. I can’t believe how hard this team is trying to choke the season away.

And this isn’t even the real freaking team! Are they planning on starting Hinske and Kielty in the playoffs? Youk (wrist), Coco (back) and Manny (who freaking KNOWS anymore) not being in the lineup is as good a reason as any for only scoring 5 runs in this series. It’s a nightmare.

What’s happened to our bullpen? Once a mighty force, now it’s a sick joke. Oki is worn down and finally resting, Timlin and Delcarman are inconsistent and Gagne needs to be locked in a dungeon underneath the monster. The only guy I had ANY faith in was our boy Papelbon… and after the grand-slam he gave up today… I got nothing. He looks a worn out and beat as everyone else.

So now only 1.5 games up on the Yanks (who are hotter than the sun right now), must we look to the wild card? Detroit is sucking just as badly as the Sox, so it looks like we will make the playoffs… but man… this is ugly and sad. The Sox need to win some of these “must-win-games” or my head (and liver) might literally explode.

Game 140: Big Blue Squander

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 4, Toronto Blue Jays 6

If that didn’t just bite all kinds of ass then I don’t know what does. The Red Sox have gotten into the habit of leaving thousands of men on base to waste away like the exposed corpse rotting in my basement (please send Febreze).

I don’t even want to talk about this steaming pile of squander. I mean the bases loaded disaster in the 8th made me want to puke shards of glass as a pick me up. And for God’s sake SOMEBODY learn how to bunt!! Coco got it right on his second try… but Ellsbury and Cora looked like spastic 9 year olds. Just freaking ugly.

On the pitching side, Curt looked fine until Toronto nibbled away in the 5th to the tune of “single SINGLE single SINGLE single….ahhhhhhhhh”. Yeah, it’s kinda hard to dance to. So with the lead (thanks to a big Tek homer) the Sox go into the 8th with Delcarmen and all kinds of optimism. It was unfounded. Glaus quickly ties up the game with a monster shot.

Then it got painful. I have been inundated with IMs, emails and verbal complaints (from DC in the chair next to me) that Okajima is WAY over used and should be shut down for a week or two. But who else do we have?? Paps just pitched 3 days in a row, Gagne is hurt and Timlin scares the crap out of me. Oki is all we got… tired or not! That was my de-facto response to all those critics saying Francona is running him into the ground… he isn’t tired at all!

Crap…

FINE… I can’t be right all the time! Sonava’bitch.

Game 138: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 13, Toronto Blue Jays 10

Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a big round of applause for the incredible pitching by the only two teams in the American League with ERAs under 4.00! That's right: the Red Sox and Blue Jays, home of some true pitching phenoms; can't you tell from the score? I mean, that's a low score for baseball, right? 13 to 10? Or was that football...

Actually, what really boggles my mind is that this game was a laugher, an out-of-reach cruise to victory for Boston that seemed unassailable. Dice-K was dealing, making everyone not named Matt Stairs look like a fool at the plate, Boston was tooling on Jays' starter Jesse Litch (seven runs on seven hits over 3.1 innings), reliever Joe Kennedy (three runs, one earned, over two-thirds of an inning) and old friend Josh "Faulty" Towers, who lived up to his nickname with a stellar three runs for three outs deal. 10 to 1, Boston leading and I made what was almost a mistake: I walked away from the game for a while. I put my trust in the pitching staff. I got overconfident.

When I came back, it was the bottom of the sixth and Boston was putting the finishing touches on their final rally of the evening, a rally that moved the game back into breathing territory after the eight runs of devastation Toronto unleashed in the top of the inning. Eight runs! How does this happen? Suddenly the endgame went from relaxing to a little tense, as the Sox found themselves using pitchers (Timlin; Okajima; Papelbon, of all people) who by all rights should be bound for the hotel when the Sox are up by nine runs. I guess we can count ourselves lucky to have won, but the middle of this game was nothing but ugly pitching.

Fortunately, like an opiate for the masses we have Mike Lowell and his god-like ways to distract us. The last time he didn't have a hit two days in a row was July 31; since then he's had two games with an 0-fer (and one of those was game two of a doubleheader, so I think it shouldn't count). He's got a sixteen game hitting streak, he's hitting over .400 for the past month plus and his OPS from August 1 to today probably topped 1.000 tonight. With Manny sidelined, Lowell's been the front line for driving in Ortiz, Pedroia, Crisp, Youkilis, etc. and the catalyst for so many rallies that win games, including the home run that got things started against Litsch tonight. I doubt the Sox will be the team paying Lowell's salary next year, but at least he's going out with a Fourth of July on the Charles River Esplanade-level fireworks display.

Game 135: Ouch Ouch Ouch

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 8, Baltimore Orioles 9

Days of pain are among us. With Belli and Manny already down with injuries, it was only a matter of time before other players would follow suit. Wake (tonight’s original starter) was scratched with a sore back (could mean anything) and the long over due for an injury winner J.D. Drew bounced a foul ball off the top of his foot, managed to finish the at-bat, and then cried like a girl as he limped his way back to the dugout. Wuss. Other potential trouble in this game happened to Coco (banged into a wall), Ortiz (hit in the ribs) and Youk (hit in the arm).

Anyway, so that means we have Tavarez starting, Hinske in left and Kielty (who’s ALSO hurt) playing right. This has all the makings of a disaster. If I only knew.

It was a travesty. Apparently nobody told Tavarez that he was pitching past the 3rd inning and fell apart like Brittney Spears career. Now I remember why this guy is a reliever. And speaking of relievers, Timlin’s 1,000th appearance was one I wish he didn’t make. He came in, looked tough, and sucked hard. I just cry when I remember how money this guy was for us over the years… and what he’s become now. PLEASE RETIRE after this year. It’s time to bow out gracefully.

To add some salt and lemon to these wounds, the Sox almost managed to WIN this embarrassment. In the 9th, the ALWAYS atrocious Danny Baez tried to throw the game away, but Tek wouldn’t let him. He hit into a double play to end it with the tying run on 2nd. Where is the clutch? Where are the walk-offs? Where are the heroes? The pain… the pain...