Saturday, April 26, 2008

Game 25: I Abuse Alcohol, the Sox Abuse Me

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 4, Tampa Bay Rays 5

Let’s put it this way… I took a drink every time the Red Sox should have scored and a shot every time they allowed a run they should have prevented.

Wake… runs… no… Cash… damn… crap… allowed. DRINK.

Sox basses juiced and (hey can I have a triple shot of…) damn no runs again… what the hell is wrong here… DRINK.

Hey look! It’s my favorite punching bag Lugo taking a routine ground ball off the heel of his glove! Another run? Fill me up barkeep!

Aardsma+Lopez+Corey=NO DRINKS? Must be getting buzzed cause that doesn't make any sense.

Extra frames… big Papi you are so clutch when you… what? Why are you sliding head first into first base? I know I’m wasted but… Huh? DRINK.

I think Timlin is trying to kill me. Oh my god… here he is again. What do I have to sacrifice to make him go away forever? Forget the 2004 and 2007 games… what can I do to make him leave now? Nothing? Damnit… I would have paid good money for something… DRINK another cause the game is over… ugh.

Fantastic. It’s my first “Pass out drunk” game of the year. A few more of those and I can get a Red Sox logo tattooed on my liver. Happy days! Now excuse me while I make a head first offering to the porcelain God.