Whatcha Talkin' 'Bout, Willis?

John Farrell is a no go with the Mariners coaching, announcing that he's withdrawn his name from consideration. It's a good thing, too, because we're going to need him: the Sox are thinking a Lugo for Willis trade with the Tigers (thanks to Joy of Sox for the tip). I remember a time when the mere idea of seeing Willis suit up in a Sox uniform had me declaring AL East locks; two years later, I'm thinking it'd be a good way for the Sox to drop a part that's outlived its usefulness and grab a pitcher who could be another Bartolo Colon...a younger, lighter weight Bartolo Colon who doesn't eat his way on to the DL (seriously: almost three months for back stiffness? How badly do you have to beat yourself up to do that at age 35?) or stomp off to the Dominican in a huff before the playoffs.

While it's true the D-Train struggled most of this year after hurting his knee in April, or that many of his stats - particularly against righties - have been on the decline even without his poor 2008 campaign, there's some hope: Average Against and BABIP have both fallen, K/9 is particularly good against lefties, HR/9 is really good against lefties...and the guy's only 26, with plenty of time to turn his career around. Unless there's some chance we'll be able to trade Lugo for a catcher, I say Willis is worth a rider. Your thoughts?

Thank You Statistics

Thank you, statistics, for acting as expected and proving yesterday's point. You think now you might be willing to take a breather and let Jon Lester not live up to his record in Toronto?

Look at me, appealing to the irrational, just because I'd like to see that complex clinching formula (Sox win, Yankees lose, Twins or White Sox lose) come into effect and 0ur playoff berth to be guaranteed today.

Speaking of irrational, looks like the Bartolo Colon experiment is dead and done after Colon decided he'd rather not come back from the Dominican to pitch in the bullpen or backup another starter. Abandoning his team during the playoffs; pitching 39 innings during a supposed comeback year; what's the over/under Colon is done with professional baseball for good?

Paul Byrd and the Survival of the Fittest

Does Bobby Kielty know something we don't? Last August, he signs a deal with the Sox and ends up a hero in the World Series. This year, after obtaining his release from the Paw Sox in July, he resurfaces a month later by signing a deal with the AL Central-leading Twins.

Word just came out that the Indians dumped Paul Byrd on the Sox for cash or a player to be named. Byrd's 37 and having a subpar year, but as ESPN points out, he's won his last four appearances - with an average Game Score of 62.5 (which is excellent) no less - and he's got a solid 4.06 ERA in Fenway over 31 innings. In other words, I like where this idea: cheap acquisition who might do some good in the back of the rotation.

Next question: Does the Byrd acquisition mean Buchholz is finished in the majors for the season, or that the Sox think Wakefield has more shoulder damage than they've let on? I don't think so; I think this trade is part of a larger strategy. With Wakefield's injury and Clay's spate of ineffectiveness, Boston has two open rotation slots in the middle of a playoff run. Wakefield is out for two starts, but Buchholz has the opportunity to redeem himself, Byrd has the opportunity to establish himself, Colon has the chance to return to form, and one of the many minor league callups (be it Zink, Pauley, Bowden, or Hansack) has the chance to step up and make a mark in a fluid situation. It's more of a survival of the fittest type of pitching arrangement that gives Boston some options in a time of weakness, the opportunity for retreads to put up solid numbers for a future a contract hunt, and for the Sox to show off younger talents to up their trade value rather than a definitive changing of the pitching guard.

Game 77: Too Soon?

No official commentary - or even speculation - about why Dice-K's command was so poor yesterday that reporters noticed it during his warmup tosses in the bullpen, so I'm feeling free to make up my own reason: Matsuzaka might have been physically fit enough to return from his rotator-strain-induced hiatus, but he wasn't psychologically ready for anything bigger than a simulated game with a member of the Red Sox coaching staff at the plate and John Ferrell calling out advice from the coach's box next to first base.

How else do you explain someone going from hero before his DL trip to zero his first day back, handing out walks like a Tammany Hall politician handing out free meals for votes, coverting baserunners to runs so quickly it revises ideas about relativity, digging one of the biggest holes Boston's had to try to escape from this season, all - and this is the really impressive part - in the course of one inning and some change. Bad day at the office doesn't start to cover the gap: he just wasn't ready to return, and I suspect he's only back because Colon is on the DL and there was no one else to pitch - an ironic situation when the Sox have so much quality starting pitching lying around. Why not bring back Buchholz? He seems to be doing pretty well in AAA...but that might be a solution anyway.

By the way: did I call Timlin on the DL or what? Of course, because Timlin is such a huge badass, he a.) won't admit his knees are the source of his recent pitching problem and b.) didn't want to take the time off anyway. If the schizophrenic duo of Delcarmen and Hansen can continue to hold the fort while he's gone, I think we shouldn't have too much to worry about.

Game 68: What to Do About Timlin?

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 6, Baltimore Orioles 3

How do you tell a hero he’s washed up? What do you do to get rid of a guy who’s been a significant part of 2 World Series wins? How do we let Mike Timlin know his services are no longer needed without him hunting us down with his bow like Van Damme in Hard Target?

Now don’t get me wrong, the Sox won this game handily. 5 runs in the first thanks to a Drew double (so hot he’s officially a second sun) and a Tek 3 run blast (apparently he was sick and left early) that supported a sublime Colon start. The Big Guy went 6 strong and picked up his 150th career win. Make all the fun you can about his weight (and boy do I) but Colon has been a substantial pickup for Boston. With Dice K and Buchholz hurt and Beckett under performing, Colon has stepped up when we needed him.

All that being said, there is NO reason that Papelbon should have been in this game. Leading 6-1 in the 9th, Timlin comes in and falls apart. A lame Pedroia error didn’t help matters, but Timlin let as many runs in as he had outs…2. Anyway with the tying run at the plate, Francona put in Paps to get the final out and put some air back in my chest.

It’s easy to add Timlin to the list of relievers that have had rough patches this season (Oki I am looking at you) but it’s almost more that that. It looks as if Timlin has lost his fire, his demon edge. His contract with the Red Sox is up after this year and I think it’s time he moved on to greener pastures where he can hunt all the animals he wants. Sad… but true.

Game 64: The Bloom Comes Off the Rose

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 0, Seattle Mariners 8

Bartolo Colon has never gone 4 and 0 to start a season before...

He still hasn't done so.

Of course, to be fair, he would no doubt find it much easier to break that personal record if he hadn't helped commit two of the team's three errors last night; it's surprising how quickly six hits and a walk turns into six runs if you're not careful. So, on the balance, pity pluses to the big man for having a decent pitching line marred by three unearned runs and responsibility minuses for committing two of the errors that caused those runs. Summed up, it makes for a crappy night against a terrible team that's deep into confused mediocrity. And to think: not 18 hours ago a friend and I were wishing we could see yesterday's game in person instead of today.

And what of the offense? Seven hits and not a runner crossing plate? Nine men left on base? Talk about your case of the dry heaves. Playing without Manny, Ortiz, and Ellsbury didn't help, but I was ready to assign the blame to the theory posited by Yankee Mike (through Robin) in yesterday's post - i.e, that the Sox are just playing to the level of their opponents - until I looked at King Felix's splits in Fenway. Already a more than decent pitcher against the Sox - 12 earned runs, almost as many strikeouts as baserunners in 35.1 innings ain't bad at all - Hernandez has yet to give up a run in 15 innings in Fenway. Fifteen innings! Sounds like he should be in a Red Sox uniform when he hits free agency...

Speaking (sort of) of missing players: congrats to the Trot Nixon Seven on their suspensions after the brawl two days ago. None of the results surprise me except for Sean Casey; how does a man known as the Mayor end up making enough of an impression on tape to get suspended for fighting? He must have been sneaking in sucker punches like a madman. You know, kinda like Johnny Gomes.

As I hinted broadly above, I will be at today's game. Since moving to New York coming on five years ago, I've seen the Red Sox on the road at Yankee Stadium, and I've been to Fenway on a tour, but I haven't seen the Red Sox play at home. Needless to say, I'm about as excited as a kid about to see their first baseball game and I've developed an entirely irrational desire for everything to go my way: good weather, easy transportation, interesting ball game, a win. We'll see which things come true, but I'll place most of faith in Tim Wakefield. Go Sox!

Game 54: Battle of the Bulk

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 5, Seattle Mariners 3

It’s no secret that the Red Sox have trouble playing on the road this year. Something about leaving Boston doesn’t seem to sit well with this team especially during the always dreadful west coast visit (see getting swept by the A’s for example). Another well known fact is the tradition of suck that has formed around Safeco Field. The Sox can’t win there and it defies all reason. The ONLY positive going into this series in Seattle is that this year the Mariners are awful and are stuck in a much worse funk then the Beantown crew. Hmmm, that might be enough…

The pitching match up in game one was two heavy weights (pun VERY much intended) Colon vs King Felix. These gargantuan gastropods matched each other pitch for pitch, out for out and bite for bite until Papi went deep in the 4th for the first run. Colon had trouble in the 5th and 6th innings but managed to pitch himself out of it with minimal damage. His line was a respectable 7 inning, 5H, 1ER, 1BB, 4K. Can’t complain about that when it comes from your morbidly overweight 5th starter. I will be damn near ecstatic if he can string together a few starts like these.

As for King Felix (who looks even bigger this year), well he looked pretty good until the 8th when the Sox offense finally sprang to life. After a weekend of dormancy, the bats awoke with a medium vengeance and dropped 4 big runs on Seattle. Pedroia’s 2 out RBI double got things started and the Sox finally got a crooked number on the board.

The rare road win is nice, but I remain a bit pessimistic. I hate playing in Seattle, I hate the west coast start times, I hate how AWFUL Papelbon looked (2 runs in the 9th) and I hate the fact that the lineup is still having such a hard time hitting. I kinda want to get this series over with as soon as possible. Wins would be nice, but I’m not picky at this point.

Game 49: Through Thick and Thicker

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 6, Kansas City Royals 3

This is a tough one. The Sox 6th win in a row, another good showing by the offense, and the return of Bartolo Colon. Let’s see how long I can go without making a fat joke.

Colon is best known for being the 2005 CY Young winner and then falling off the map. His arm injuries and wild streaks basically cost him his job during a contract year. Bad timing for any job… horrible if you’re a major league pitcher. In a league fraught with thin rotations, nobody wanted to take a flyer on Colon. He didn’t end up in Pawtucket because he wanted to eat fried seafood on Cape Cod, he wound up in AAA because he had nowhere else that would take him.

Watching him step on to the mound after his battle back from injuries and unemployment is inspiring. Ok, so it’s not “Cancer survivor pitches no-hitter” kind of inspiring, but you really only get one of those a week. To his credit, Bartolo stepped it up on Wednesday and brought some poise and heat from his award winning season. He hovered around 93-94 mph over 5 innings and only allowed 2 runs. Not too shabby for a 5th starter.

As I mentioned before, the offense was jumping again with multiple hits from Jacoby (including a solo hr), Pedroia and Tek (who looks like he’s still got some of the old pop too).

But the night belonged to Bartolo. I think he is a very good option as a split roll 5th starter. Once Buchholz gets off the DL, Colon and he will most likely be in oscillating jobs to save the Buch’s thin, young arm and Colon’s old and chunky one.

What a glut of pitching the Sox have right now. 6 Major league starters and Masterson waiting in the wings. Makes you wonder what they are going to do when Schilling wants to come back after the All-Star break.

Too many good pitchers? Now that’s a problem you hope to have. Just don‘t go rushing off to the trading tables… or you might end up with Wily Mo Pena.

WTF is a Guyner?

While browsing RedSox.com, I came across this note in the "releases" section: "Boston Red Sox sign free agent RHP Terumasa Matsuo from Shikoku Island League in Japan." It was right above a notice that Timlin just landed on the 15 Day DL, so I made the logical leap that Matsuo is a replacement reliever. Not so: he's a starter, and he's now on his way to Fort Myers to get stretched out. Reading between the lines, I'm thinking a cheap secondary rotation insurance policy to supplement the risky primary policy (Colon) and bulk up the list of available arms as the Sox prepare to enter a stretch of twenty straight games next week without a fifth starter.

I don't know about the relative quality of play in the Shikoku Island League, but Wikipedia notes the league has 132 players on six teams and started three years ago, so I'm guessing something equivalent to a Minor League team. I do know two things, though: first, Matsuo doesn't sound half bad; he pitched 5.1 innings a start last year, and he's been good for a strikeout an inning for the past two years. Second, the Shikoku Island League has some of the best team names and logos in all of baseball: besides the Guyners (and I've yet to find a good explanation of what a Guyner may be, although I'm really hoping - based on the logo - that it's some sort of giant green demon), there are the Mandarin Pirates, the Indigo Sox, and the Fighting Dogs, whose mascot seems to be sporting the sort of collar Michael Vick might approve of.

And Now: Three Games That Don’t Matter

Did you like that? Did you like that little taste of semi-legitimacy the fiasco in Japan gave us? For a brief moment we were in the regular season were every game was a life an death struggle for our beloved Sox (ok I exaggerate… but stay with me) and then it was cruelly snatched away and replaced with a sham of a croc of a sham series with the Dodgers in a damn football stadium that is older than Timlin, not to mention the fact that the team is freaking exhausted from being half way around the damn world for a week. AHHHHHHHHH!

Whew… sorry about that. The tease of REAL baseball got me worked up. Let me give you a short breakdown of the weekend festivities.

Game 1- Boston Red Sox 1, Los Angeles Dodgers 3:
Wow the Coliseum is both big (huge amount of room for the fans and 400+ in center field) and freaking tiny (like 250 ft down the left field line). Colon pitched a hell of a game and is giving a running (well maybe rolling) start into his spot as the 5th starter. Well after he finishes a stint in AAA. Offense forgot to show up to this game and the bats were shut down by a mix of Chad Billingsly and Scott Procter. Yeah not pretty. Sox lost this thing in the 8th when so guy I never heard of (Holdzkom?) gave up the go ahead double to Mark Sweeny. More spring, more losses. What else is new?

Game 2- Boston Red Sox 7, Los Angeles Dodgers 4
Looks like EVERYONE came to this game. 115K showed up to watch the Sox get some of the cheapest homers ever down that piddly little line in the Coliseum. Youk and Cash went deep (not THAT deep) to push the Red Sox to a hard earned victory. Wakefield had a great day in a park that could have killed him if he kept his knuckler up. A good season out of him would be fantastic. Oh, and Papelbon gave up some more runs. Try not to panic.

Game 3- Boston Red Sox 0, Los Angeles Dodgers 8
Say it with me: “It’s only Spring Training, it’s only Spring Training!” They got freaking ONE HIT! If Pedroia didn’t lead off the game with a walk, it would have been a perfect game through 8 innings. Lets not even think about the fact that Buchholz got massacred (again) and only lasted 3 innings. And the strikeouts?? The Red Sox had 12. I want to crawl under my bed and hide. The real deal is in Oakland on Tuesday and this is the quality of play we are going to see? Do you understand how tough the schedule is this first month? If the Sox go 5-15 in the first 20 games I won’t be shocked at all.

Is it too early in the season to start drinking?

Bartolo is a Signing That is Hard to Swallow

In an off season where the Red Sox have seen very little action, Theo certainly made a interesting move during Spring Training. Getting Bartolo Colon was a WHALE of a pick-up. He is obviously a LARGE piece of the puzzle. He has a BIG $1 mill coming to him for a minor league deal that some may say is BLOATED.

Get it? He is a FAT ASS!!

He's so freaking big that El Guapo should be stomping up and down at the local Taco Bell. Sure Colon is only 3 years removed from a Cy Young award, but some stats like "whole cows eaten vs games started" since then are startling. Not numbers you want to see.

But honestly, when you look at how little the Sox are giving for HOW MUCH they are getting, by sheer poundage this could be a good deal.

As pointed out by my brother earlier, Colon used to be a big innings eater before he went down with injuries. Too bad innings are so high in calories.