Game 78: Inconsistency and Redemption

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 5, St. Louis Cardinals 3

I don’t want to go over the great start the Sox got from Jon Lester (very solid through 7), or the dumbfounding brilliance of Sox cast off Joel Pineiro (Sox couldn’t touch him), so I am just going to start at the top of the 9th. 3-2 ballgame, Sox ahead, 2 outs, 2 strikes, Papelbon dealing…

9 times out of 10 that ball game is over. OVER! Done… as in “the game is done, I can watch Mythbusters now!” So when I see what happened on Sunday, I know in my heart of hearts that it is an aberration. An event happening against the norm. Something that only rarely occurs and I don’t have to worry about it.

Knowing all that… I still flipped out when Paps let the tying run cross the plate. I screamed, I hollered, I clamed the game was lost.

So imagine what my reaction was in the 9th through 12th innings when the Sox got a man on 2nd with NO OUTS and still couldn’t score. Sure Tek blocking the plate was amazing and Hanson stepped up in a big spot, but it doesn’t change the fact that I was a mess and I think I had good reason.

My biggest problem with this team is the lack of consistency. The Red Sox of 2008 go through amazing stretches of brilliance, followed up by trashy showings of mediocrity. For example, after a good run on the road in NL parks, the Sox return home only to be trounced by a St. Louis team that had just lost 3 straight to Kansas City! So as big favorites, the Sox show no clutch hitting in game one, display a pitcher who still needed so rehab starts in game 2 and blew a game in the 9th for a series finale. That’s what I call inconsistency.

But here is the flip side of that coin. The Sox aren’t consistently BAD either. That tide does have to change eventually… and if you were watching the 13th inning of this game, you could see the waves roll gently over the rocks as Youk blasted the winning run over the monster. I think the Red Sox kept this game going for just long enough that they were able to outlast the “bad” they have inherently built into this team and were able to display the winning ways that have them planted first in the AL East.

All is forgiven thanks to Youk and his 13th inning bomb. He was waiting for the luck to turn and the balance to shift and took advantage of the karma alteration at just the right time. Nothing quite matches the jubilance of a walkoff HR and my only hope now is that this energy carries into the next series… so we can avoid the next inevitable downslide for just a bit longer.

Deadline Dealing

Somebody help me out cause I’m a bit confused. Why are the Red Sox making so many moves right now? Are we in second place and nobody told me?

Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems that the Sox are making deals just for the sake of making deals… and that NEVER works out well.

Joel Pineiro to St. Louis for cash and prospects to be named

This makes sense. We weren’t going to call him back up and it was shocking to me he didn’t jump ship after we DFA’ed him. The Cardinals need another live arm in their rotation so this could work out for them. I just hope we got some young guy with some sort of upside.

Willy Mo Pena and Manny Delcarmen or Justin Masterson for Jermaine Dye

I don’t think this will happen now. The Red Sox really don’t want to risk pairing anyone with any projected value along with Wily Mo for Dye just incase Dye becomes a total bust (and he is looking pretty BUSTY). I know the Sox need a new 4th outfielder, but giving up too much doesn’t make sense at this point. If this happens (which looks unlikely) I hope Dye can show some shades of 2006.

Kason Gabbard and David Murphy for Eric Gagne

It’s sad that I’m praying for Gagne to block this deal with his no trade clause. This is basically a done deal except for that little fact. I guess it’s good to have a stacked bullpen… I didn’t think that was our weak point! Are they just adding strength to strength? Gagne is pretty good, but is it worth a guy like Gabbard and the potential of Murphy. This is something I see biting us in the ass down the line…

I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Game 99: Jon Lester, No Longer a Clubhouse Cancer

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 6, Cleveland Indians 2

The return of Jon Lester is the biggest feel good story of this Red Sox season. No, not just because Joel Pineiro was DFA’ed and Tavarez was sent to the pen… the man came back from cancer to play baseball! If that doesn’t make you sit back and say “wow” then you must have been completely desensitized by the millions of human interest stories that this has spawned. Actually, that may have happened. I mean this guy is basically Lance Armstrong without steroid allegations and Frenchman hatred. That alone should be enough to saint Lester.

Now combine that with the fact that he pitched pretty freaking good…

Yeah it’s amazing. He got into a few jams (highlighted perfectly with shots of his mother doubled over in the stands with her head in her hands), but like the Houdini he was last season, he managed to wiggle his way past the walks (the ump was AWFUL). Some well timed double plays and some HUGE strikeouts were all he needed to secure his first of what I hope will be MANY victories this season. Rejoice for the healed Jon Lester and take him to the hallowed halls of Sox lore. Move some bloody socks and Ortiz walk-offs… we’ll find some room.

Lester isn’t alone in this comeback parade. Timlin looks like he is officially back from the old folk’s home with another inning plus of solid relief, Delcarmen is back from his vacation of suck he had with the White Sox and the offense is back even without Papi (still resting the sore shoulder) and it’s all because of Manny swinging a big stick again and Coco hitting everything in sight (10 hits in 3 games). This is the Sox team I signed up for! 4 wins in a row baby!

So the win was great, and the story was great, and the atmosphere was great, but we need to realize this may not be a permanent thing with Jon boy. How long the golden child Lester will stay with the big club is uncertain. When Schilling comes back in August it will either be Gabbo or Lester sent down to make AAA starts cause it’s no use wasting either of them in the pen. However long it is, it’s great to have Jon “Tough as Nails” Lester back in the rotation. Just keep him away from Cheryl Crow and everything will work out fine.

Games 79 and 80: Weekend in Hell

Final Scores:

Game 79: Boston Red Sox 4, Texas Rangers 5
Game 80: Boston Red Sox 1, Texas Rangers 2

Ahhhh Saturday and Sunday. The days everyone should be relaxed and resting. Everyone that is but the Red Sox bats. They OBVIOUSLY don’t need any more rest. Games like these two make me wonder how we got so far ahead in the AL East. And thank God that we are because the Sox have been playing flat for about 2 weeks. The mess in Seattle, the near miss in game one of this series and then these two pooch screws can almost be 100% blamed on the inability to hit the freaking ball.

Well I guess it’s not that cut and dry. SOME players are hitting the ball SOME of the time. The inconsistency and less than timely hitting his becoming somewhat of an epidemic. On Saturday the Sox struck early and gave Beckett a 4 run lead. Youk crushed one and Cora got a three bagger. But that lead slipped away and the Sox were helpless to stop it…however they managed to leave 9 men on base. The best (worst) part of this disaster was Lugo (now with a batting average lower than his IQ) trying to steal third in the 8th and running into a really stupid out. This guy needs to be buried somewhere.

On Sunday it was even more frustrating. The game was close thanks to Tavarez pitching out of his mind (again) but the offense was pathetic. 11 more guys were left on base stranded to die without any hope of creating runs…the poor bastards. Hell, this game might have been tied at the end if it wasn’t for a couple of errors by Cora (tough hop) and Drew (fly ball through the webbing). Perhaps the most disheartening was the performance of Ortiz who came up with men on in two big situations and failed both times. It’s like a little kid seeing Santa and having him bend down and look right into the innocent little cherub’s eyes and say “SORRY SUCKER! NO TOYS FOR YOU!” and fly off cackling into the night. It’s just mean, man.

What’s really odd about all this is the type of pitcher that’s killing this team. The Sox DESTROY starters. I don’t think I’ve seen a starter last into the 7th more than 10 times this season (I’d look up the actual numbers... but that’s more Eric’s thing). It’s these bullpens that are taking us apart. Maybe it’s the lack of familiarity with the pitchers, maybe the constant changing of pitchers, maybe it’s the deodorant these pitchers wear…I don’t know for sure. But I do know that it’s driving me out of my tree.

On a positive note, the thumb injury to Coco Crisp (who was getting red hot when it happened) and the DL’ing of Joel Pineiro (best thing for everyone) resulted in the calling up of hot prospect Jacob Ellsbury. The guy is fast as lightning and a wiz defensively. He only has one hit in 8 AB’s so far…but that’s still better than Lugo.

Win Monday and the Sox could salvage the series split…with Texas? That’s awful.

Game 76: Hail to the King, Baby

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 7, Seattle Mariners 8

Now I remember why having a decent bullpen is important: it keeps games from seesawing back and forth, like last night's toothless wonder. Sure, the Sox got to King Felix and his ineffective fastball early and often, keeping Boston in the game with six runs over the first six innings, but every time the Sox would establish a lead - or tie the game - Seattle had an offensive answer that kept this frustrating game going tit-for-tat far too late into the night.

Hernandez may have been nowhere near the dominating powerhouse he was on his last outing against Boston on April 11, but (once again) he still managed to outpitch Boston's starter, as the once glorified and exalted Gabbo...well, not to put to fine a point on it, but he sucked. Long and hard, with enough walks to turn the base paths into a treadmill for Mariners. Lord knows where the kid's command went, but it wasn't with him last night. However, according to the Herald, Gabbo will get another shot to prove himself again next week - Tito is not going to use the off day on Thursday to rejigger the rotation to cover for Schilling's second missed start. Having a ten game lead on the competition does give you the opportunity to experiment, I guess...

Speaking of Tito, what was up with his decision to leave MDC in for more than an inning last night? I know we're a bit short on relievers at the moment - a problem compounded by Joel Pineiro twisting his ankle in one of the more awkward ways possible - but MDC ain't no Kyle Snyder and his presence on the mound in the fifth made the bullpen look very, very thin. I'm a little surprised the Red Sox haven't called up another reliever to compensate, really - looking at the Sox pitching numbers against Seattle this year, poor pitching performance should now be the expectation, not the exception.

Game 69: Curt-tailed

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 4, Atlanta Braves 9

Ok, so the Braves are a hot team and the Sox are in a bit of a prolonged slump… but there is just no way to survive a pitching performance like the stinker Schilling dropped on us today. I mean wow. Two ass spankings in a row for the guy who wants an extended contract? Was it the one hitter? Was it the fact that he had to bat? Well , you can’t blog your way out of this one Schill. This was on your head.

If he wasn’t bad enough, Joel and Timlin sealed the deal with a 3 run in 2 inning performance that made me grimace through my beer. Let’s just call them the dark side of the bullpen. It really makes me sad that the old workhorse Timlin is now resigned to the “up by 4 runs, down by 4 runs” duty. Long gone are the days when he is the go-to-guy.

The bats were as inconsistent as they have been… with 2 glaring exceptions. Drew had a homerun, and Coco had 2. Everyone ok? Do you need a moment to collect yourselves? Yeah I said “homeruns”… why are you looking at me like that? You’re going pale and getting woozy? Just steady yourself and hold tight. I promise I’m not lying. I know it can be quite a shock when 90% of the offense comes from the guys who aren’t hitting. We’ll get Papi back in the lineup tomorrow and all will be well… maybe.

Enough with this back and forth BS. Paging doctor Beckett…. I need 9 innings of domination STAT.

Game 56: Can I Go to Sleep Now?

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 4, Oakland Athletics 5

I hate the West Coast trip. The 10 o’clock starts are an endurance test in itself, but add in extra innings and it becomes a test of wills between you and the Sandman.

I saw the end of this mess… but somehow I don’t feel like it was worth it.

The Sox did everything they could to forfeit this game. Sitting Tek, Lowell, Coco, and Lugo they went with the Super B Squad headlined by crazy Tavarez himself. Honestly I remember very little about this game before the 7th inning. I know Ortiz and Pena took the ace Dan Haren deep, I know Tavarez pitched well enough to almost lose… but that all feels like weeks ago. I still don’t know how they managed to tie it up on Embree when the bats looked as tired as they did. Everyone who was supposed to be resting made it into the game but all those innings seem to blur together in my head.

Fighting through yawns and droopy eyelids I remember Joel Pineiro sucking, I remember clutch hits by Tek and Papi, I remember Oakland loading the bases and not scoring thanks to the weirdest double play ever, but that might have been a bad taco I ate.

More indigestion/insomnia when Pedroia ran into an out at home (et tu, DeMarlo Hale?) and Oakland getting MORE runners in scoring position yet not sealing the deal.

Kyle Snyder was cruising along with two outs in the 11th, until Eric Chavez put one out to finish this off key lullaby. Good, fine, whatever. I honestly don’t even care anymore.

I guess it’s a testament to the gustiness and quality of this team, coming so close to victory while hardly trying in the earlier frames, but I can’t really concentrate on that now... in fact I can barely see the keys.

Another 10 at night start tomorrow? Balls.

Games 53 - 55: Awesome Sandwich with Buns of Crap

Game 53: Final Score: Boston Red Sox 5, New York Yankees 9
Game 54: Final Score: Boston Red Sox 11, New York Yankees 6
Game 55: Final Score: Boston Red Sox 5, New York Yankees 6

As Robin so succinctly put it to me in an email this morning, "these games were an awesome sandwich with crap buns: bleh WOO bleh." Losing two out of three at home to the Great Rival is hard enough, but an ending like last night leaves a bitter taste in the mouth that extends well into the next morning like a bad hangover, even when tempered with the excitement of the game and the sweet 12.5 game pad in the standings. Still, the final score of Game 55 is just the surface of the weekend that had more subplots than a soap opera story arc. Let's recap:

Where has the starting pitching gone? Not a good series for Red Sox starters: a combined total of 22 hits, 16 runs, 10 walks and only 9 strikeouts in 15 innings isn't in line for spectacular, even against the Yankees. Beckett had the best outing of the set, but still had two tough innings and gave up a brace of runs before his offense woke up and handed him what turned out to be a no decision. I'm happy to blame this lackluster run on the odd weather haunting the East Coast this weekend and move on.

Battle of the Bullpens. I'd be happy to give all of the props in the world to the Red Scare for their job this weekend, but the measure of their success is entirely conditional. On Friday, when the game flew out of reach on the wings of the knuckleball, the four scoreless innings courtesy of Romero, Pineiro and Lopez were like a pretty girl getting stood up by her date: all dressed up and nowhere to go. On Saturday, when the Sox returned the favor and tore into Mussina and Scott Proctor, giving up a run or two (the weekend's consistent theme) was just collateral damage to ending the game as quickly as possible. Last night...well, unfortunately last night was when things really counted; when Lady Luck jumped out of her seat in the EMC Club and into Joe Torre's waiting arms and said, "it's time I did you fellas a good turn." The triple and the home run came at the worst possible times against pitchers who have become the watchwords for automatic, but thus the game.

Kevin Youkilis and his 23 game hit streak. Nowhere near magic number 56 (or, if you believe Joe Morgan's crazed ramblings, the "150 to 200 game" hitting streak Derek Jeter somehow put together over the past few years without anyone noticing), but still a satisfying run for Youk, who snapped his streak on Saturday with an 0 for 2 with three walks. Last year's big surprise was Youkilis robbing J.T. Snow of any use in baseball life by becoming a vacuum at first base; this year's surprise may be Youkilis superseding J.D. Drew as the power in the heart of the order. If so, it might be reasonable to suspect that Youkilis has a thing against guys with two first names.

Dustin Pedroia will accept your homage now. Thirteen game hitting streak. Hitting .500 over the past week or so. Hit the double that cleared the bases in the fifth last night, bringing Boston back into the game. Very nearly hit a second double that would have tied/won the game in the eighth, if not for the interference of Lady Luck (see above) guiding the hand of Bobby Abreu. DC may be waiting for Pedroia to swing so hard that he falls over, but I'm perfectly happy to enjoy this hot streak while it lasts. Go P-Dawg!

Whither Big Papi? Actually, that's not fair: Ortiz has an OBP of 1.091 over the past month, which is monstrous. It just hasn't been as visceral of an impact, because it's been weeks since he's hit a home run. That should have changed last night against Rivera, because that ball was gone as soon as it hit the bat, but once again, Lady Luck had other ideas. Last night was the exception, rather than the rule and I have no doubt Ortiz will drive balls over the wall again in good time.

The Rivalry is back. For better or for worse, the Yankees play a good game when they face the Sox. As I said a couple of months ago, the rivalry isn't any fun when one side is horribly overmatched, which means the Yankees will have to win a few games...or two series in a row. Boston and New York don't face each other again until the end of August, when the games will have become much more important, so now is the time to lick wounds, maintain that AL East lead and wait for the time when sweet revenge can be claimed. For now: off to the West Coast! I hate (baseball) trips to the West Coast! Turn that hatred into wins!

Game 44: Battling the Bad Teams

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 2, New York Yankees 6

I don’t understand this Red Sox team sometimes. The Sox manage to take 3 of 4 from the brilliant Tigers, they take 2 of 3 from a nasty Atlanta team, they sit alone at the top of the standings, but they can play down to the level of their opponent and lose to an irrelevant under .500 club. How does this happen?

For starters we left a small village on base. 12 LOB really bailed out that mediocre pitcher they threw at us. We couldn’t even capitalize on the errors they made. The Sox need to keep that same fire in their belly even when facing a sub par opponent.

At least the bullpen held together. Romero, Delcarmen and Pineiro did a serviceable job holding back that “so called” offense. Wake was the one that got knocked around and let in the runs. The knuckler was a little high and he had trouble keeping it in the park. Their slugger… what’s his name?... B-Rod?... got a huge blast in the first and their token steroid user got a chemically enhanced upper deck shot. Aww well. They need something to hang their hat on… good for them.

Wait what? That was the Yankees? Are you kidding me? Huh…

Anyway, in game 2 tomorrow we are throwing a secret crazy weapon. Right now JT Killer is bathing in animal/human blood and making 9 little voodoo dolls. I hear he doesn’t eat before a game… but he feeds on fear during. I think he’s gonna fill his belly.

Game 6: A Pictorial Representation

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 3, Texas Rangers 2

A breakdown of tonight's game, in pictures:

Do you see this man, to the left of this paragraph? Do you know how pissed he was tonight? Coming out, Opening Day, throwing that bush league crap for four innings? And then he starts out the game with a home run to Frank "Journeyman" Catalanotto? The Rangers should have been quaking in their unis after that at-bat and with reason: Schilling's line of four hits, one walk and one run over seven innings, with a side dish of six strikeouts, ate lightening and crapped excellence. He was so worked up by the end that he lingered in the dugout after seventh inning, waiting for his chance to come out and finish up the game. Emotion aside, Schilling has had some nice (4 and 0 record) success versus Texas, so tonight's performance isn't the be-all, end-all proof of the ace's return, but damn, looking hot tonight.

Need to score some runs? Then you'll need to call on my man pictured to the left. While most of the league's power hitters are struggling to get started, Big Papi broke out of his slump with authority, smashing home runs in his first and third at-bats to score the Sox only runs.

Speaking of slumps, I have a theory on the slow start to the hitting: has anyone noticed how cold it's been across most of the country recently? Cold nights in KC and Texas don't help hitters get into a groove when they've spent the past month plus in warm Florida. We may be relying on pitching until spring finally kicks into gear.

Speaking of pitching, we will speak no more of this guy until he redeems himself for forcing greater men to pick up the sacred charge he let fall into the dust. The bullpen shakiness from yesterday carried over into the eighth inning today: walk, walk, bunt single to load the bases, panic rising, Schilling's marvelous effort starting to fade away like a baseball version of Marty McFly's family photo, sharp ground ball (off Lopez) by Nelson Cruz that erased the man at second, but scored a run and left the tying run smirking ninety feet away from ignominy and potential defeat...shame, shame and more shame. Until the Papal-Bon came to the mound.

This. Man. Is. The. Balls. With one out and runners at the corners, Papelbon came in to face Texas's two toughest hitters, shining as he came like a beacon of hope and awesomeness in the dark night of RSN early season despair and the oncoming rush of the Texas sweep brooms. Needing but fifteen pitches to accomplish his sacred work, Paps garnered three strikeouts, smoked Michael Young with fastballs, terrified Hank Blaylock with splitters and left Brad Wilkerson so devastated with his badassery that the man could not swing at the final pitch as it blazed by at 96 miles per hour.

Although ESPN was more interested in showing Terry Francona splitting sunflower seeds (enjoying his careful bullpen management, no doubt) and closeups of Papelbon's pre-pitch sneer than Varitek's pitch selection, I did catch a few of the location choices and all of Tek's setups and noticed something interesting: although Papelbon didn't hit all of his spots with his fastball tonight (not that it mattered), when it came to the kill pitch on all three strikeouts, the ball hit the glove exactly where Varitek wanted it to be. I'm not sure this rising level of control means anything, but it struck me as interesting; anyone have any insight they'd like to share?

A Fox Among the Chickens

Remember Ego and Super Ego, the feature where Robin and I simulate the thought processes of a typical Red Sox fan in word form? Well, the announced return of the Papal-Bon to the role of closer snapped something inside both of us, so Ego and Super Ego is back. My comments in normal text, Robin's in italics. Enjoy...

It's official: Jonathan Papelbon will be the closer for 2007, ending weeks of speculation about the future owner of the job, the health of Papelbon's shoulder, the foolishness of the Sox for moving him out of the position, the need for a closer, etc., etc., etc. While I'm glad the wait is over, because I was getting really sick of every sportscaster feeling the need to add their opinion to the mix, that doesn't mean I don't have some mixed feelings about seeing Paps back in the pen. Being the logical, organized type, I've laid out the pros and cons of making this transition.

Being the pissed off psycho type, I am gonna break down his lame assumptions and tell you what the real deal is with this freaking travesty of a no-win, zero sum, awful choice this team just made. Honestly… I’m a little excited.

Pros:

• Proven track record: the seven runs over 70 innings, the 75 strikeouts and 13 walks, the sheer badassity of a closer who didn't give up his first run until halfway through 2006 all speak for themselves.
  
  Oh come on! Everyone knows Paps is the second coming. That’s the freaking point. He comes in = the game ends.
  
  
• Stronger arm: after last year's shoulder scare, Papelbon has gone through a boatload of strengthening exercises and, according to his quote in the Herald, has talked to a "million doctors" who all seem to agree that his new exercise regimen will give him the arm strength he needs to keep a live arm all season. He now feels he can perform in either role, as the team needs him.
  
  Stronger than what? He looked fine until the end of last season when he collapsed like someone whose name rhymes “Crap Lament” last season. And what’s this magic strength training? Tai-Bo? Or has he been hitting the medicine balls so hard that anything larger than a cantaloupe gives him fits?
  
  
• A much better option: was I worried about Julian Tavarez or Joel Pineiro coming in to shoot down the opposition Rivera-style in close contests? You bet your ass I was. We know Paps can get the job done and get it done well and that counts for a lot of peace of mind.
  
  No crap. Last time I checked everyone was getting rocked this spring. And you usually can’t get piece of mind from a guy who played Tony Montana in the Sox clubhouse version of Scarface.
  

Cons:

• Arm health: what if the doctors are wrong or the exercise regimen doesn't work and Papelbon's arm falls off, as I keep fearing it will? I admit my irrational fears don't go up very well against a "million doctors," but I won't feel any better if I'm right and Paps can't pitch anymore. Plus, Papelbon is a warrior: he'll probably keep pitching until his arm does fall off because he's so committed (although Curt Schilling seems to feel otherwise).
  
  Plus, this is idiotic. Severe arm damage is something you’d notice in his performance. If he ends up sucking cause he’s hurt, we are back at square screwed.
  
  
• Pitching limitations: according to the quotes in the Herald, there are big limitations on how often and how long Papelbon can pitch - no multiple inning outings and no pitching four or five nights in a row. I trust Francona not to blow this restriction, but do I trust the rest of the bullpen to step up and keep the runs off the board on those nights when Papelbon can't pitch? It's a big risk.
  
  This I really don’t understand. If we are risking this guy by making him the closer, then why not run him into the ground and get all the wins we can get out of him. What? If he’s gonna get hurt anyway, we might as well bleed him dry.
  
  
• Replacement effectiveness: with Papelbon back in the 'pen, Julian Tavarez will take his spot in the rotation. He did well enough in the role at the end of last year to be a fifth starter and he definitely wants to be there, but we're talking about Julian Tavarez, the man most likely in 2006 to suffer a mound meltdown - after Rudy Seanez, of course - taking the reins in 2007 at the back of the rotation. Ignoring the loss in quality that lowers the rotation from godlike to pretty good, Tavarez is a scary unknown factor as a pitcher in general and a starter in particular.
  Lord, Tavarez again? Can you imagine every 5 days dealing with “Mask and Chainsaw” night at Fenway? Could somebody go check the white blood cell count on Jon Lester?
  

Basically, it's a tie - it's nice to know the man closing out games is as reliable as they come, but Papelbon's return to the pen opens up a whole new set of potential problems to worry about as the season opens. I'm excited, but more than a little freaked out about what could happen.

It’s brutal that a “tie” means that we take a potential 15-18 game winner and turn him into a 35+ save closer who has a chance to burnout in August. But there really aren’t any other good options are there.

Gild off the Lilly

I love the spring. Birds chirping, flowers blooming, Training in full swing. So it must also be time for the Red Sox to get under the skin of some team we have no business feuding with. Something about the Scarlet ‘B’ rubs other teams the wrong way and it happens every year. The Yankees may be the charter member, but the Sox can find a way to piss any team off. Devil Rays, Phillies, Marlins, Oakland… whoever… we manage to ruffle feathers.

This year it was with Detroit. Beckett, not having the greatest command on his curveball on Saturday (was wild as hell), managed to tag Sheffield and Magglio with some less than precise pitches. None of this was intentional (as far as I can tell) but it was a little ugly (he looked freaking awful).

The bean ball barrage did not go unnoticed and Jim “Nails” Leyland made sure that someone on the Sox team paid. Well he tried to make sure. J.D. Drew was the supposed target of Todd Jones… but Jones couldn’t hit him! Dodge, parry, dodge and finally the one that flew behind Drew was noticed by the umpire who unceremoniously tossed Jones and Leyland for orchestrating the whole thing. Well this caused ‘ol Jimmy to go a little B-A-N-A-N-A-S as he made his way on to the field. This is where it got rough.

DeMarlo Hale vs Jim Leyland!!! It’s the battle of the old school shouters!

They jawed and got into it until the benches cleared and… well… nothing. That was it. It petered out without a punch or shove. Awww. Maybe next time you frisky Tigers.

The second awful showing came from our OTHER supposed ACE on Sunday vs the Orioles. This time the foreign wonder, the gyro dynamo, the tsunami mami, DICE-K… looked like Chan Ho-Park on a bad day. He got taken deep by Knott (1 run) and Dubois (3 run) and managed to throw away a double play ball into center field. Yeah… bad sushi.

On the bright side, Joel Pineiro did manage to have a good 2 innings and is slowly pitching his way back into the bullpen. But other than that… not a great weekend.

It’s still early in Spring Training so whatever happens, the good or the bad, has a big chance of changing before the season starts. But I hope these pitching problems can iron themselves out sooner rather than later… or it is going to be a long season.

Closer By Committee Rears Its Ugly Head Again

Jeez, guys…I stop paying attention to baseball for a few days and you go and sign someone new? Not just anyone new, mind you - washed-up starter turned reliever Joel Pineiro? And now you’re thinking either he or Runelvys Hernandez could become the closer? The best thing you (the you represented by Allard Baird) can say about Hernandez is that he's not afraid of anyone? This is the guy with the steadily declining numbers and the well-documented friendship with the late, great Terrence Long we're talking about. Are things really that bad out there? My God, it's going to be 2003 all over again, with some poor sap playing the role of B. K. Kim, ending the year by flipping someone off and then claiming he had a "cultural misconception" even though he's from Missouri.

Ahem. Sorry about that; I'm calm now. Let's take a look at the pros and cons of this new situation:

Pros:

• He has a "few innings" as a closer from last year, when he spelled for regular Mariners closer JJ Putz. He has one conversion in two opportunities (not that that means much) and held opponents to a .213 batting average in 24.1 innings.
• He's lowered his arm angle a bit, which supposedly equals more success.
• He's enthusiastic to pitch in front of Red Sox Nation.
• "Everyday" Eddie Guardado gives Pineiro his seal of approval, which is even more scientifically valid than Pineiro's save conversion ratio.
• The Sox weren't dumb enough to commit to Pineiro as their only closing option for 2007.

Cons:

• He hurt his arm in 2004, effectively derailing his career for the past two years and now he's not good enough to start any more.
• He gave up 19 hits and 13 runs in those 24.1 innings as a reliever last year.
• He's attempting to convert from a starter to a closer, which has a very low success rate.
• He's the result of a gut feeling by scouts, not any sort of statistical analysis.
• There aren't any more free agent closers still on the market.
  

If this one-year gamble works out, it'll be great...if it works out. I have a feeling Robin and I will be bitching hardcore about the closing situation come April.

Pineir-Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Meet Joel Pineiro. He’s a Red Sox for 2007… so he must have been great in 2006. Right?

8-13 Record
(squint)

6.38 ERA
(blink)

Getting $4 million with $2 million in incentives
(twitch)

First in line for the Closer job
(eyes fall out of head)

Sorry sorry… I don’t mean to be needlessly negative, but this guy seems a far cry from Papalbon (who deserves to start… I know). Well I guess he wasn’t bad when he was setting up some guy named PUTZ last season… and its MUCH better than Tavarez as the closer (isn’t that scary in print?).

So “HI” Joey P. If you rock I’ll personally start the PIN-AIR-OOOOOOOO chant. If you suck, I’ll keep calling you Joey P. Deal?