Monday, December 19, 2005

Wine From Napa Valley

This Californian Pinot Noir comes from Boston grapes

California looks closer and closer to Boston lately. The Dodgers are now sporting a bunch of ex-Red Sox, like of former 20 game winner Derek Lowe, 2003 AL batting champ Bill Mueller, 1997 AL ROY Nomar Graciparra and the 2003 recipient of “most death threats in a week” Manager Grady Little.
Frankly, I am tired of all the “West Coast Red Sox” chatter. 3 of these guys weren’t even on the team last year… and getting rid of two of them (Nomar, Grady) was instrumental to winning it all in 2004 (thanks beautiful). The bottom line is that I’m just happy Lowe can be a sub-par pitcher in the NL, someone gave Muller a multi year deal (suckers) and Nomar didn’t end up on the Yankees. Man that would have been awkward. I would have to turn all my Jeter/A-Rod gay jokes into three-ways. All in all, I think the Dodgers have a great core team. In fact, I think they have what it takes to win the 2002 World Series.
Ok, enough former Boston player hating and on to some NEW Boston player hating. The Red Sox have a tentative agreement with former Indian, Dodger, Brave, Royal, Marlin, Padre and Red Sox relief pitcher Rudy Seanez who was probably just as surprised as I was that the Sox were interested again. This was my good buddy DC’s take on the impending transaction:

“You're yanking me right? I could hit off him when I’m hammered and batting lefty. He's 37?!?! He was terrible when he was 27! Washed up relief pitchers aren't fine wine. They don't get better with age!”

Come on DC. Tell us how you REALLY feel about the signing:

“Seriously how much older can our bullpen get? Now they need to leave Papelbon down there just to keep the AARP away.”

Yikes. Well, I don’t think it’s gonna be that bad. He DID get 7 wins with the Padres last season. Of course they won their division with a .500 record… but I digress. Welcome back Rudy. I hope your new training regiment of Brazilian jujitsu can keep Ortiz away from your box lunches.
Another strange transaction had to do with the second mishap the front office made offering arbitration this year. Mike Myers not getting an offer when the Yankees were clearly gunning for him was goof #1. This time Tony Graffanino DID get arbitration when it was obvious there wasn’t going to be any room for him on the roster. Now the Sox are stuck with 4 second basemen (Lorreta, Graff, Cora and Pedroia) and nobody at shortstop. At least there aren’t any other glaring holes (unless you count center, leftfield, first base and the bullpen). 2006 is gearing up to be a long season with a roster full of guys I haven’t really become attached to. Maybe they will grow on me. Maybe they WILL age like wine. What do you think Marsellus Wallace?

"See this business is filled to the brim with unrealistic mother*****. Mother***** who thought their ass would age like wine. If you mean it turns to vinegar, it does. If you mean it gets better with age, it don't."