WOOOOONDERBOOOOY

The possibility of Dustin Pedroia as the possible starting second baseman and shortstop for next year hit our friend DC particularly hard, so I suggested he turn his growing outrage into a special feature. Without further ado, we present DC: Mad as Hell but Still Rational. Enjoy.

Those of you not up the latest Red Sox news may have missed an article on redsox.com (since replaced with the announcement about Alex Cora’s free agency declaration that mentions both Loretta and Gonzo) reporting that both Mark “The Pro” Loretta and Gonzo filed for free agency a few days ago. This isn’t that big of a surprise; everyone knew that they only had one-year contracts and there hasn’t been a lot of news about contract extensions for position players coming out of Theo’s office. So if everyone knew this was coming, then why is this noteworthy? Simple: the same article ended by all but guaranteeing Dustin “Wonderboy” Pedroia a starting role (with the author leaning toward waving goodbye to Gonzo). Now this begs a very simple and obvious question: WHY? What has Wonderboy done to earn anything more than an invitation to Spring Training and a package of Fenway Franks?

I know, Pedroia’s put in his time in the minors and that ranks right up there on the warm and fuzzy scale right along with fluffy bunnies and when my girlfriend does that thing I like. I understand that Wonderboy was a 2nd round pick and it seems like he’s been the next big thing since Johnny Pesky was wrinkle free. But the reality of it is he was drafted in 2004. Yup, that means he has less than 3 years in the minors and less then 2 full seasons in AAA.

I know what you’re thinking: “That doesn’t mean anything; a lot of guys don’t spend time in AAA.” Well, let’s look at Wonderboy’s major league readiness compared to Gonzo and The Pro. This season, Gonzalez had 7 errors in 475 chances, for a .985 fielding percentage. Loretta had 4 errors in 639 chances for a .994 fielding percentage. Wonderboy came up and posted a .972 fielding percentage with 4 errors in 33 games. I’ve also been unable to find anyone who doesn’t think he’s terrified of the runner while turning a double play. In fact, Robin once called me to specifically tell me that Pedroia may wet himself the next time someone slides into second. How’s that sound for our middle infielder of the future? Oh and by the way, he can’t hit either. Seriously, if we needed a .191 batting average we would have bought Belli a middle infielder’s glove.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying its time to send this kid the way of Luis Rivera (how’s that for a blast from the past). I realize Pedroia’s only 23 and has the upside of blind date with Jenna Jameson. I’m just saying let him come to spring training and earn a spot. Then, now that Cora’s filed for free agency, maybe Pedroia spends a year as the utility guy and the Sox bring Gonzo and The Pro back for another year or two. That way there’s no controversy and everybody is happy. We all get to watch more of the smoothest defense around, our pitchers can keep throwing ground balls confidently, and Wonderboy finally gets to spend a year in The Fens learning for the vets and hitting on BU chicks.