Monday, February 13, 2006

Manny Ramirez is From Another Planet

A very telling comment in today’s Herald in an article about the huge number of ifs that surround this year’s team:
Coming off a winter filled with trade rumors, what can the Red Sox expect from Manny Ramirez?

Roughly 40 home runs and 140 RBI along with the usual doses of humor, frustration and befuddlement.

Were this any other player, there might be concerned about the effect this offseason might have on his performance. Not with Manny. Over the last three winters, the Red Sox have placed Ramirez on waivers and expressed a willingness to trade him to anyone who made a respectable offer. Ramirez has responded with his best years as a member of the organization, which makes you wonder if the Red Sox have tapped into some fascinatingly complex mechanism to motivate him.”

There you have it, folks. Manny’s not an idiot savant, a child’s mind with a giant’s bat, an inscrutable superstar who aggravates (or amuses) us with his outlandish antics as much as he amazes us with his ability to hit the ball long and far…he’s an alien. That’s right, a being from another planet, who, like Dan Aykroyd, is struggling to understand our strange human ways. I mean, why else would he demand to be traded, get publicly offered up for auction and just as publicly get denied and still be one of the most valuable members of the team for three years running? Those requests to be traded, coming like clockwork twice a year, must be his way of saying he loves us all.