Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Back in the Saddle Again


So, Timmy’s back for another year of fun. Not that I’m surprised at all: although I had heard rumors to the contrary, there’s no reason why the Sox wouldn’t want Wakefield for another year; having someone so routinely solid anchoring the middle of the rotation is too good to pass up. Like Timlin, Wakefield is feeling much better now than he did a few months ago, but as much as I love Wake, there are two problems:
  1. No one knows why Wakefield’s ribs separated in July and more importantly, we don’t have something like the World Baseball Classic to blame it on, either. Timlin gets a free pass for another shot because the circumstances will be different next year; Wakefield will be in the exact same role and unfortunately, that means the rib separation could happen again. Hopefully the medical staff and Wakefield know something we don’t and they’ll be able to nip any potential problems in the bud.

  2. Doug Mirabelli just filed for free agency after posting some of the worst offensive numbers among starting catchers. We all know what happened when the Sox tried to go without Mirabelli last year and for all his experiments, Theo isn’t dumb enough to try the same risk twice – but what to do? We can blame Varitek’s woes on the WBC, too, but as Gordon Edes points out, it wouldn’t hurt to have a backup catcher who can hit…and that may mean bringing ‘Tek back to catch Wakefield after a 6-year hiatus. I’m honestly not sure which is worse: the idea of going out to look for a knuckleball-able catcher when there are some many other areas that need to be filled or reliving Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS every fifth day. Maybe The Stud Who Hits Bombs will come back and go back to his old, bomb-hitting ways. And maybe I’m crazy.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

May a Team Win. Doesn't Have to be the Best One, Just a Team

So, um…congratulations, Cardinals. Not only did you make Robin and I look like fools, you managed to suck less than all of your division for the whole year and turn things on when it really counted. Tony Massarotti might be pissed about the mediocre caliber of the 2006 World Series Champions, but I think this season should serve as a wakeup call to the NL Central: stop half-assing things, guys. Any of you had the chance to take the Cardinals and their 83 and 78 record down a notch when it mattered…now you’ve got a little more motivation to do so. Clearly all any of you need to do is outlast your competition (dominating is so 20th century) and a playoff berth is yours.

Also: is Massarotti suggesting the Sox try to steal Jones away from the Tigers? Because that has “Rudy Seanez” written all over it. Is he saying that Boston should go after an older closer, or just that the front office should look for a closer with a lower walks per nine innings ratio? Because it’s not readily apparent from the end of that article where you were going, Tony.

I have to say, if it was the last option (walks per 9 innings) even if Jim Leyland feels better about losing to a double or a home run than he does to a walk (and yes, he really said that), I wouldn’t and I’m pretty sure most other people wouldn’t, either. There are better stats out there, like WHIP and K/9, to measure a potential closer and I’m willing to bet that the stat heads in the front office will be looking at more than just one stat to figure out who they’re going to go after to close next year.

Finally, I present to you the slogan for the 2007 version of the Team from Queens: “The Mets: As Arrogant as Ever.” Bring it on, guys. We’ll finish what we started this past June and avenge 1986 all at the same time. GO SOX!!!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Meet the New 'Pen, Same as the Old 'Pen?

I think it’s clear Robin and I should stay as far away from gambling as possible. Not only have we been completely wrong about the World Series (eh tu, Tigers?), but we are already 0 for 1 on signing predictions: Mike Timlin is coming back for another year in the trenches. DC loves this news because it means another year of “Black Betty,” but I’m going to go for cautiously optimistic: if a normal Spring Training, a completely healed shoulder injury (you forgot about that one didn’t you? Yeah, me too) and a more balanced bullpen that doesn’t rely on Timlin as the every day go-to guy mean one last good year, I’m all for it. Also, when you need pitching help (and oh, does Boston need pitching help), you don’t look a gift horse (1 year, $2.8 million, with the player willing to do his own negotiation and take a pay cut to play) in the mouth. If it works, it works; if it doesn’t, at least Timlin will never be Rudy Seanez.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Tigers Knot the Series

Kenny Rogers is channeling Derek Lowe. Or he’s channeling whatever Derek Lowe was channeling two years ago. In any case, who would have guessed that a guy could go from black sheep to post-season hero in so short a time?

Also: Robin’s an ass. Tigers in four, indeed. Clearly he meant Tigers in five. Dumbass.

And now… a moment of silence

It is with a heavy heart that I must report the passing of a Red Sox legend. Nelson de la Rosa was a king among men (think chess piece) and a near mythical figure in the annals of the 2004 World Series. Who can forget Nelson on the shoulder of Pedro after the victory over the Angels? Or Millar getting him wasted on a thimble of PBR? Or when he served as de-facto master of ceremonies during the rolling rally? It’s impossible. To forget him is to forget ourselves.

Let the flags fly at half mast, let all players wear black armbands, and let the schools out early. We have lost 2 feet and 4 inches of good luck charm, hero and brother.

Adios Nelson de la Rosa, you Lilliputian champion, you tiny titan, you bite sized behemoth.

Goodnight sweet prince.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Golf Clap

Congrats Cardinals! You made it to the big show again with a nail biting victory over the Mets in a stunning Game 7. Good job.

Now prepare to get your ass kicked. Get ready to bend over and grab your ankles just like in 2004. I swear this is gonna to be ugly.

Tigers in 4.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

ALRIGHT… EVERYBODY OUT!

"Is this your stop?"

I know it’s taken me forever to write my personal end chapter for the 2006 season. I’ve been making excuses and avoiding this for over 2 weeks. After the awful end to the Red Sox season I wanted to avoid writing about baseball all together. Yet, now that a truly horrible tragedy has prevented me from enjoying the Yankees bounce from the playoffs (they always manage to take my fun), I need to find some closure. If I don’t get it now then I won’t be able to enjoy the playoffs like Tommy Lasorda wants me to or dive into the “hot-stove” season like Scott Boras wants me to. I must dissect and examine before I can focus and move on. Also, I must make fun of and ridicule before I can accept and love. I just work like that.

I wouldn’t say they mailed it in, but the Sox didn’t look on the top of their game in the final month. Papelbon got hurt and shut down. Manny’s knee got his own daily column in the Boston Globe and Schilling even felt the effects of time. It was the perfect cap on a perfectly awful season. Forget 100 wins, they didn’t win 90. Toronto surged past the slumping Sox to give us the bronze medal for the first time in as long as I care to think about. Far be it from me to try and find the silver lining in the cloud of crap, but this does let me vent a little bit about the Red Sox Nation.

It’s not what you think. I know everyone is putting Theo and Co. on a spit for the lack of moves (rightly so), and everyone is taking shots at the coaches (sending 2 of them up the river in fact), and EVERYONE is bemoaning the injuries that the whole team endured (yeah yeah yeah)… but those aren’t the fleas biting my behind.

I have an axe to grind with the fans.

Not the diehards who knew Williams and Pesky personally, or the kids that grew up watching Boggs and Greenwell, or even the people who had to put up with Vaughn and Everett…

I am talking about all of those folks who show up in the 3rd inning. The girls who still list Johnny Damon as their favorite player (“Cause he’s so HAWT”). Morons who said “who’s that?” when Buckey Dent threw out the first pitch in game 4 of the 2004 ALCS. Folks you never saw in Fenway before 2003. You know… those chicks in
FREAKING PINK HATS.

Now I am not trying to be sexist (as Brian Fantana said “Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engine…”) cause there are absolutely some guys who are just as guilty and I’m not trying to be elitist either, but you have to admit that the fan base has gotten a little bloated. This is when a losing season is a good thing. It cuts the wheat from the chaff. I HARDLY think this will affect ticket sales, but it may just chase away those idiots who only ever watched the “Idiots”. People who were starting to jump ship in 2005 and were pretty much done watching by August of this season. This is exactly what we needed. A chance to be underdogs again (second highest salaried underdogs…but still).

Get off the bandwagon. We never wanted you and now maybe I can buy a ticket without slicing off an arm. Give the team a chance to rebuild. Theo HAS to make some moves now… and the young guys are only going to be better. Let us have an off-season and a summer of peace and quiet and then we can brace for the “jump back on” next September when the Sox are 4.5 games up in the standings. As for right now, don’t let the door hit you in the seat of those awful Rhode Island clam chowder colored warm-up pants that say “Red Sox” on the side. You walking eye sores.

Ahhhhh! The fan lounge has emptied out a bit… the ceiling is a little lower again… and the air smells that much cleaner.

So now it’s time to go into a slow down mode here at Keep Your Sox On (like I haven’t already) but we will be around with updates and commentary on big headlines, playoff news, trade rumor crap, and maybe even a book review or two. I like the smaller fan room… more intimate. GO SOX.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

A Moment In Time

Do you watch Lost? If not, you might just be better for it – it’s pretty damn addicting and gets very frustrating when you can’t watch more than one episode at once (i.e., during regular seasonal broadcasts). In any case, whether you watch Lost or not, something happened on tonight’s episode that’s Red Sox related, so by God I’m going to blog about it.

Some background: imagine you’re stuck on a tropical island after your plane broke apart. It’s been 69 days since you crashed and you’ve tried everything you can think of to get away – especially since things have gotten very weird on this island and people who weren’t on the plane with you have started kidnapping people who were on the plane. All of a sudden, you find yourself captured by these people and locked in a tank that used to house dolphins and sharks and they start trying to get you to do things for them. Not bad things, mind you (or so we, the audience, think), but things must be done. And then they’ll send you home.

But the thing is you’re not entirely sure that these people really can send you home. They claim they’ve lived there all their lives, after all – how do you know they can reach the outside world. So they give you proof: news events. You crashed in September, 2004. It’s now November. President Bush has won the election. Christopher Reeve has passed away. And the Red Sox won the World Series. And to prove it, they show the final seconds of Game 4, as Foulke tosses the ball to Mientkiewicz…and that’s what proves to you they’re not lying. How incredibly powerful is that? It’s a ridiculously important moment in the life of any Red Sox fan, but all of the sudden it becomes a moment of validation for someone thousands of miles away who didn't have any hope of ever seeing home again. And that’s pretty cool.

R.I.P. Cory Lidle

Not exactly a Red Sox topic, but certainly worthy of the exception: Cory Lidle, currently of the Yankees but a free agent this off-season, died today when his small plane crashed into an apartment building in Manhattan. Lidle was 34, became a pilot during the 2005 off-season and clashed with Yankees management over his desire to fly – Thurman Munson, anyone? – insisting that even in the case of engine problems, his plane would be safe to land because of a parachute. Unfortunately, something seems to have gone wrong today, with terrible results. Rest in peace, Cory.

2006: The Soft Underbelly

As we all know, it’s time (past time, really) for the season-ending, soul-searching, celebrating-the-Yankees-elimination post that ends every annual volume of Keep Your Sox On (2005, 2004). Robin has a rant planed on the end of the Pink Hat Faction that should scorch the paint and offend a few readers in the process, but he’s a slacker who can’t cut his post down to less than 4 pages. Or he’s crazy passionate about the topic and can’t cut his post down to less than 4 pages. In any case, he’s promised to have his season-ender up by Friday or I get to hit him with something heavy.

In the meantime, you have me. I spent this past weekend up in Salem, Massachusetts with my in-laws, who, besides being Yankees fans are also big Halloween fans. Needless to say, my wife, father- and brothers-in-law were less than pleased about how the ALDS turned out for their team, but couldn’t understand why I insisted on gloating about their misfortune. After all, they pointed out, my team wasn’t even in the playoffs. One brother-in-law, who was in a bar in Boston for Game 4, said that he asked the bartender the same thing and heard that Red Sox fans would rather see the Yankees lose in the playoffs than the Red Sox win. I’m going to assume this bartender was either plastered out of his mind or on crack, but it got me thinking (some more) about how this year turned out.

At the midway point of the season, we were all riding pretty high on how things were throwing down in Beantown. Sure, the 13 game sweep of the NL was over and we’d had some struggles (ending the mid-year with that tough game against Chicago wasn’t that fun), but as Robin wrote in his All-Star Break wrap up, “Can they get 100 wins and will that get them into the playoffs? Yeah, I think so.” Hell, we were 53 and 33 with three games up on the AL East and things were looking pretty bright. And then the second half happened. A tough string of games on the West Coast at the end of July, Varitek’s departure for the DL on August 1 (otherwise known as the Raven Game) then the full-on collapse against Tampa Bay and the Royals had Robin posting about injury woes. And then that stupid five game set against the Yankees, followed by the final nails in coffin pounded in by Seattle, Oakland and Anaheim basically pushed the playoffs out of reach, even though I wasn’t prepared to admit it at the time. All of the sudden, it’s the end of the year, Jon Lester has cancer, the starting rotation has become Schilling, Beckett, Tim Wakefield and whatever warm body can throw a ball, the Sox don’t come anywhere close to winning 100 games and have their worse standings finish in about a decade. What the hell happened?

Obviously, a complete collapse happened, but how? Was it really the injuries that sent the Sox from the top of the world to the bottom of the heap in the matter of a month and a half? The Yankees had injuries too, but they had the depth to make up for the problems – or were their injuries much more superficial because they involved their 35 outfielders, while Boston lost half of the starting rotation? My feeling is that injuries were the prime suspect because they were to so many key players. Much has been made of Theo’s decision not to go for a big trade at the trading deadline that would have kept Boston in the running with another starter or some bullpen help, but I think in retrospect the move played out well in the long run – who would we have given up and who, truth be told, would we have acquired in exchange? The Javy Lopez acquisition looks pretty crappy looking back and Boston only gave up Adam Stern and his base stealing potential. Imagine if we had traded away one of the young guns instead? We could have another Cla Meredith situation staring us in the face.

2006 exposed the soft underbelly of the Red Sox, pure and simple. Injuries ripped the team apart, made it vulnerable to easy exploitation by any team across the AL (no matter how terrible a record) and spoiled any chance for a playoff berth. All we had to make up for the loss of the veteran core was a legion of promising but untried youngsters who could not hold up the burden on their own and Julian Tavarez, who is certainly the biggest enigma of the year and possibly of the whole decade. Now we move forward, we look forward to the off-season acquisitions that will fill a number of big holes and we await 2007. GO SOX!!!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Heads Start To Roll

What do companies do when something starts to go badly? They downsize. They bring in new talent. They refresh the pool of available resources. They decide to go in a new direction. Whatever you call it, people lose their jobs. The Red Sox, of course, can’t downsize, unless they had a fire sale, but they can start firing people – and they did yesterday, giving hitting coach Ron Jackson and pitching coach Dave Wallace their walking papers. Check the Globe article I just linked to for details, but it sounds like Tito was behind releasing Papa Jack – fundamental disagreements over player development over the past few years, coupled with the lower offensive output this season – and Epstein the motivation for releasing Wallace, possibly for concerns about the slow development of the younger pitchers.

I don’t have any issues with the hiring and firing of managers – both guys were popular, but I’m sure the motivations for releasing them made sense for the organization. What does worry me is that the Sox are once again entering the off-season without vital pieces to team management. Not as vital the GM, obviously, but who’s going to spend the off-season beating Wily Mo over the head until he realizes he doesn’t have to swing at every bad pitch? Who’s going to smack Josh Beckett until he gets it in his head to start pitching with his head every game instead of every third game? We’ve got five or six months until Spring Training and the 2007 Reincarnation; I just hope the Sox find coaches in time to make a difference to key to players this winter.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Games 160 - 162: At Last

Final Scores:

Game 160: Boston Red Sox 4, Baltimore Orioles 3
Game 161: Boston Red Sox 4, Baltimore Orioles 5
Game 162: Boston Red Sox 9, Baltimore Orioles 0


Thank God, it’s over. 86 wins, 76 losses and the season ends with a series win against Baltimore (again) on a rain-shortened day when a guy who started the year in Portland tossed five complete innings of no hit ball to get his first major league win. Oh and the first third-place placing in nine years. J.P. Ricciardi must be very proud of himself and his expanded payroll. Still, if you’re gonna give the hometown crowd something think about during the long off season, you might as well end with all cylinders firing: no errors, Hansack’s no-no, homers by Lowell, Lorreta and Hinske and a Kapler double. So, yeah, good stuff.

The big story of the weekend was the return of Manny to the lineup after a three-week absence. Ramirez came back to work like he hadn’t missed a day, going 2 for 3 with a homerun and a single and adding fuel to the “Manny wants to be traded – again” controversy. Here’s my crazy thought of the day on that one: did anyone care to notice that Manny made this year’s trade demand after the papers started calling him out for missing time for his tendonitis? I mean, look at the Herald article I just linked to – the writer hints in overtones a child could read through that she thinks Manny is faking his injury because he’s lazy and she’s not the only writer to do so. I don’t know who the Boston sports writers think they’re doing any favors for with their opinions – if they’re reacting to the end of a season of lost opportunity, or they honestly think anyone with half a brain really cares. Because, to be honest, if Manny Ramirez really is the clubhouse cancer writers like Shaughnessy and Massarotti claim he is, the front office will get rid of him. The rest of us should just enjoy the 1.058 OPS, the 35 HRs, the 102 RBI and the .321 AVG Manny put together this year – not to mention the protection he provides for Ortiz in the lineup – and shut it.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Interview with Howard Camerik

After reading and reviewing of Howard Camerik's book, The Curse of Carl Mays, I had a few questions for the author about his baseball tale. Fortunately, Howard was game to answer and for this Thursday’s off-day special, I present our dialog:

Keep Your Sox On: Especially given your background as a baseball fan (grew up a Mets fan, now rooting for the Marlins), why the Red Sox? Obviously, there's a history there, but why not the Cubs, for example?

Howard Camerik: Hmmm…the Cubs…what if Bartman’s ticket to that game is one row back, and Alou catches that foul ball…sorry about that, just thinking about something …

Why the Red Sox? Why not the Red Sox? Where else would an aspiring sports novelist turn to make his literary bones? It was shortly after Bucky Dent dropped that pitiless, black-hearted bomb when John Cheever famously said, “all literary men are Red Sox fans,” and it was just weeks prior to the infamous Game Six when Martin F. Nolan penned in the Globe, “Fenway is the ultimate protagonist of the lit’ry life, a survivor.” So if I wanted to be one of those men, be part of that life, enter the Forbidden City where the men of letters sip tea and gaze at their navels, it was only natural to look toward the sports franchise long regarded as something of an allegorical tale.

And besides that, there are a lot of publishing houses in Boston, so I thought it would make it easier to sell.

KYSO: Given the number of historic collapses over the years, why 1986 specifically? 2003, for example, seems like a viable candidate.

HC: If I can take the second part first…I first outlined the basic contours of the story, and began researching, back in 2001, before the Aaron Boone atrocity was even remotely foreseeable. Time travel only really works fictionally – I couldn’t actually do it.

But really, if you’re going to use the novel form to re-write Red Sox history, is there a better candidate than what Shaughnessy called “the denouement?” The tenth inning of Game Six of the 1986 World Series probably stands out as my sharpest baseball memory, the “where were you when” story [for the record, I was a law student watching in an Ann Arbor, Michigan apartment]. I really thought a story about 1986 would evoke the most emotion, and have the most resonance … and make the best movie.

KYSO: The attention to detail in your book, especially your descriptions of life as a minor leaguer, are absolutely fascinating (and might even make a few people reconsider a pro baseball career, given how difficult the minor leagues sound). Is there some personal history there, or did you dig all this stuff up through research?

HC: Personal history? Would that it were so. [Note on usage: this seems to be a popular phrase these days, so I used it to sound hip and modern. But it is one ponderous collection of words awkwardly cobbled together, isn’t it?]. The baseball career I yearned for stalled after high school, aided and abetted by chronic elbow tendonitis. I did make a triumphant comeback, however, first, in baseball fantasy camp [see book author photo], followed by several seasons in the Men’s Senior Baseball League [which I write about] before being felled again, this time by a torn rotator cuff.

No, the description of life in the minor leagues was purely a product of my imagination, which I suppose was internalized from years of reading, thinking about baseball, and just paying attention. And re-watching Bull Durham on cable. After I had fully drafted the manuscript, I read a book called Inside Pitch: Life in Professional Baseball written by an anthropologist (and former minor leaguer) named George Gmelch, and even I was stunned at how accurate my conjured portrayal was.

KYSO: Where did you come up with the character of Pat McCarvill?


HC: I combined the two starting guards on my junior high basketball team (Pat Badolato and Jimmy McCarvill) who I played behind. But you probably didn’t mean just the name.

I consider Curse to be more plot than character driven, and so the character was really built around the story, his history and personality traits specially designed to snap into the puzzle and facilitate the plot. In addition to baseball, I follow politics very closely, so combining the two in Pat’s character – mayor-turned-ballplayer – came particularly easy to me. At some point, I became so convinced that the role was calling out to Ben Affleck, I think I actually started writing dialogue that I could envision him delivering [Ben, if you’re out there … call me, babe].

KYSO: You've mentioned in other interviews that you got the idea for the book from an accident suffered by a teammate in a softball game, but how much did you know about Carl Mays before you were inspired to write the book? Did your idea for a plot change at all as you did more research?

HC: That’s actually a long-winded discussion that I’ll sharply edit so as not to bore your readers. Truth be told, the original manuscript, entitled A Pitch in Time, had nothing to do with a baseball curse. It was otherwise the same story, built around the Chapman incident (as inspired by my friend’s softball concussion), but with little substantive to do with Mays.
But I had this idea floating around as I was writing about the Mays angle, his Red Sox connection, etc. Ultimately, with the prodding of an editor (I hired the guy who edits the Dune series), I began to research and develop it, and without sounding too corny, I was astonished to learn how interwoven Mays was with Ruth, the 1918 Red Sox, and the Frazee purge. With that, the new “curse” element almost wrote itself. I swear, at times I felt as though I was discovering a story, not creating it, with the almost spooky way the pieces fit together.

I did take some literary license with an aspect of Mays’ career that I was surprised to learn of. It’s commonly assumed that he was denied enshrinement in the Hall of Fame because of the Chapman incident, and Curse plays it up that way. But the Chapman pitch was probably not the real reason. Many believe that Mays actually threw a game in the 1921 World Series (as a member of the Yankees). Common lore teaches that the Black Sox scandal of 1919 put an end to such things, but apparently, the break wasn’t as clean as Hollywood would have us believe. Mays was never charged, but enough sports writers believed it to be so that the taint is likely what cost him the votes he needed. I’ll bet you didn’t know that.

KYSO: Howard, thanks for taking the time to answer my questions about your book – we wish you the best of luck with its success.


HC: Thanks for inviting this kid born in Queens to spend some time over here in Brooklyn. As of now, the book is available only on the internet booksellers like Amazon, and, I submit that reading it would be an uplifting thing to do during October while that useless post-season is going on. If any of your readers have follow-up questions, they should feel free to contact me at Howard.Camerik@yahoo.com. See ya.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Game 159: Wake Me Up When September Ends

I’m not going to lie to you: I’m pretty checked out of this season at this point. I’ll enjoy the wins as they come, but a blowout on a night when there are other things occupying my attention? I’ll pass. Still, we promise to chronicle the highs and the lows, so the show must go on…but I suckered our old friend Mike into writing for me today. The man is truly a gentleman and a scholar. Here, then, is one man’s attempt capture the frustration of all of RSN about last night:

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 0, Tampa Bay Devil Rays 11

Going into the game, things looked pretty good for the boys from Boston. TBay starter Tim Corcoran was on his way to tying for the worst record by a starting pitcher in the last 50 years since the all-star break (0-10) and he was facing Josh “Jekyll & HydeBeckett (about 33 ERs in his starts the Sox win, 81 runs in the other games). This is a formula for success right? A home game? Against a guy who isn’t exactly Cy Young? All right, no problem; should be a win, right? Alas, it was not meant to be, and the Sox get shutout for the 8th time this year with…5 hits?!? That’s all we got, 5 goddamn hits?!? I know it’s game 159, the Sox aren’t in the playoffs and the players are ready to hit the golf course, but 5 hits, against the FREAKING D-RAYS?!?!?!?!

But of course we believe in optimism, so here are some positive thoughts going forward:
  • Josh Beckett threw 200 innings for the first time in his career. He didn’t get hurt (no blister, no shoulder issues) at all this year – now he has the goal of getting 200 quality innings.

  • The Sox defense showed up, making no errors for a record 108th time this year. We have defense, if the pitching had shown up all year, things might have been ok (this means you Josh, and the Larry, Mo and Curly representing the 4th and 5th starters).

  • Wily Mo Pena didn’t spike himself in left field. It’s a small step, but a positive one.

  • Hanson, Delcarmen, and Lopez didn’t give up a hit between them. True, it was 11-0 at the time, but it’s the thought that counts.

  • And lastly, with this game out of the way, the end of the season and the Pats playoff run is one day closer. Go Sox!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Game 158: Sitting in a Corner… Drooling

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 5, Tampa Bay Devil Rays 1


We did it! We clinched! I couldn’t believe it at first, but then when I realized that projections had the Sox clinching a spot in the playoffs around this time, I knew it was true! It’s gotta be true!

And what a game! Schilling was ON! 7 innings of awesomeness and only one run. Francona better rest him so he can start game one against the Twins. It’s all about setting your rotation in the short series. I called Eric all excited about this, but he acted like I didn’t know what I was talking about. What a loser! Does he even follow baseball?

The bats were ready to go too! Papi hit his 54th big fly and he is well on his way to the MVP. That whole “we don’t give it to the DH” is right out the window this year because his HUGE homerun and RBI numbers carried us into the playoffs! WOO HOO! Why is everyone so depressed around the Boston press? Let the champagne flow!

Could they do it again? Only two years removed from that glorious parade… could they go all the way and prove my devotion valid and just once again? All I hear is the voices of angels telling me “SOX WIN! SOX WIN!” The sweet sweet music!

Oops! Got to go! The nice men who loosen my straps and feed me pudding are on their way. They beat the crap out of me last time they caught me online… but it’s worth it to see the glorious victory of the Red Sox! They laugh at me, they call me crazy… but they’ll see… they’ll all see. Then we’ll see who’s laughing!

GO SOX!! GO SOX!! No… no… not the needle! Go Sawwwwwcks….

Game 157: Ashes of the Wake

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 0, Toronto Blue Jays 5


Ladies and Gentlemen, we are at war. A war between the men of Boston and those weirdos from the North, with their less valuable dollar and their strange accents (, eh) and their beer with a higher alcohol content. A war, my friends, over who will take second place and who will be stuck in the huge gap between second and those lowly Baltimoreans. It will be a short, brutal war, because there isn’t much time (five games, just five more and this dismal season ends!) and by God, Toronto may have the miniscule advantage at this time, but with two games against Tampa Bay and three against Baltimore, I know we shall triumph and preserve (for our own personal pride, because no one is going to remember the Sox finishing second in 2006 in 10 years) the record of second place finishes held since 1997.

Tonight, Schilling against Tampa Bay, home of angry managers. And yes, he’s going up against all of Tampa Bay, like Moses throwing down against the Red Sea. Even though the Sox are at home for the rest of the year. It’s complicated. Let’s try and go out on a high note, boys. GO SOX!!!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Game 156: Now we REALLY don’t have to care

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 4, Toronto Blue Jays 13

Well the first game of the NULL AND VOID 2006 season was pretty much just like the ones that counted: disappointing and over before I had a chance to get drunk. Just end already! We know we’re out and can’t win with Kyle Snyder and the AA crew. This is just an insult to the many injuries.

Now I’m left trying to find a good slogan that sums up this season. Here’s what I have so far:

The Bataan Death March
The Curse of the Gorilla Suit
2 Years Removed
How Bout Them Pats?
Papelbondage
Failure to Launch
Bandwagon Housecleaning

Yeah it’s not much. But it’s too depressing to really think about.
Up next… are you even watching anymore? Sox… go… ya know.

Game 155: End of the Night

Final Score

Boston Red Sox 3, Toronto Blue Jays 5


To the tune of End of the Night

Take the highway to the end of the season
End of the season, end of the season
Take a journey to the playoff elimination
End of the season, end of the season

Realms of bliss, realms of light
Some advance to sweet post-season
Some go on to that sweet delight
Some must live to wait for the 2007 season
Into the night, into the night
End of the season, end of the season

Realms of division, realms of wildcard
Some advance to sweet post-season
Some go on to fight the bigger fight
Some must live to wait for the 2007 season
Through the long winter nights
End of the season, into the night

RIP 2006 Red Sox playoff chances; RIP 2006 season…for real, now. Nothing left but to play lame duck to other lame ducks in the final games of the year. Go Sox.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Game 154: You’ve got to be kidding me

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 7, Toronto Blue Jays 1


Ok, let me get this straight: Julian Tavarez threw a complete game (one run no less) for the win over Toronto. This is the guy I called a “pox marked psycho” and “Manny’s friend from prison”. Are we sure this is the same guy? Didn’t Tavarez punch a wall before the 2004 playoffs and then punch a player before the 2006 season… both for questionable if not moronic reasons? This is the same guy right?

How does this happen? Do teams decide who is “more done” before the game starts? Do managers get together and work out who should have an amazing day on a spreadsheet before the players take the field? Did Tavarez have his number come up today, or did he threaten to stab someone?

I am just a bit taken aback. I am stunned that this castaway from the bullpen was able to pull something like this together. It almost makes me wish that the season wasn’t 100% down the tubes and that the Sox had a chance to continue the season into October. Oh well. I guess I just have to enjoy what I’m stuck with. An amazing win by Tavarez (with help from the defense and divine intervention I’m sure) should be enough to pacify the shaken nerves of a downtrodden fan.

Next up is some AA guy I have almost never heard of (Hansack? HandySnack? Ramsack?) vs Burnett and his huge salary. Good thing he doesn’t pitch with his wallet. Go Sox.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Game 153: Braving The Unexpected

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 6, Minnesota Twins 0


Well, that was unexpected. If you had come to me before the start of the season and said, on September 21st, Josh Beckett and Johan Santana will face off in the last game of the season between the Twins and Red Sox, I would have predicted a pitcher’s duel. If you had come to me a few weeks ago and said the same thing, I would have expected a good game…if Beckett pitched smart. I would not have picked Santana to be by far the losing party in a head-to-head contest and I don’t think I would have expected Beckett to go solid innings and give no runs on six hits. But that’s just what they did.

Then again, maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. Tonight was one of those magic nights at Fenway, a night where the baseball gods of old seemed to speak from on high with the thunder and the fury that’s made this team great in the past – the team we keep coming back year after year to see. If Josh Beckett can come out with all guns firing, then of course: David Ortiz should take the first pitch he sees from Johan Santana into the Boston night, a middle-in fastball that should never have lingered in the danger zone and deposit it into the right field grandstands like God’s own slugger, further enshrining the legend of Big Papi with the new Boston single season record. And being Big Papi, there’s always room for more: how number 52, in the seventh inning, off Matt Guerrier. The season might literally be over tomorrow; this game might have been the last blast of Indian summer before the harsh reality of October sets in, but we always have these moments to savor as we wait for the spring and for that we are fortunate.

Tomorrow night it’s the final games against the Jays: a four game set in Toronto, with Hulian against former Sox nemesis Ted Lilly. The homestretch awaits, dear friends. Let’s go out with a bang. GO SOX!!!

Game 152: The Worst of Times

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 2, Minnesota Twins 8


Big Papi hit his 50th homer of the season to tie Jimmy Foxx for the all time Red Sox record. Now I’m not sure, but I think every other thing that happened yesterday was AWFUL. Let me check… yup… totally horrible.

The Sox got beat by some guy named Boof (are you kidding me? Boof?) and the bullpen crapped the bed SO badly that even I was taken aback by their ineptitude. 7 runs over the last two innings. Those are justifiable homicide numbers.

Meanwhile, the Pinstriped Gestapo was busy in their locker room dousing each other with wine coolers and Zima. They won the American League East division title for the 9th time in a row… but we saved money not getting Damon back and didn’t trade our future away trying to get more pitching in the off season or at the trade deadline. Yeah. Whatever keeps you warm at night.

OK, I’m not saying this is the Apocalypse… I’m saying the Apocalypse already happened, we were judged, and this is Hell. A week and a half left of this mess. The end of the season can’t come fast enough.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Game 151: Reality Sets In

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 3, Minnesota Twins 7


I had a thought two nights ago, a nightmare vision that only a Red Sox fan could have the arrogance of seeing and the greater arrogance of claiming as his own: who’s going to stop the Yankees in the playoffs, now that the Red Sox are out of it? Because the Yankees are a game away from clinching the AL East, so they’re going unless something very, very odd happens or there are a few extra games tucked away that I haven’t heard about.

Who does anyone see doing it? The Tigers? They’re not exactly hot stuff against New York (or the Athletics either, really – they might be in trouble). Chicago? The Twins? Chicago has to get there first and neither team has a winning record against the Yankees. I’d say my money is on Oakland, but they always seem to fall apart in the post-season…and they could always end up playing Detroit first. If the Angels were the AL West champions, things might be brighter, but all I can think about right now is the Yankees winning the pennant and going on to face the Mets (yes, I said it: the Mets. No other division in the NL is going to produce a team worth anything in the playoffs, unless Philly grabs the wildcard and even then, when does a pitching staff led by Jon Lieber and Jamie Moyer really dominate?) and winning it all just to spite me. Sure, I’d love to see a World Series parade here in New York (did I mention how I want the Mets to win?), but not with guys in pinstripes on the floats.

So I had this vision and then I thought about how nice it would be to play spoiler some more, after Boston spent the weekend getting some revenge for August and how the Twins were there, ready and waiting for some spoilage. And then tonight happened. Timmy Knuckles may be back, but his pitches aren’t yet; maybe not surprising for a guy who never gets hurt coming off a ribcage fracture and certainly not unexpected, given how this season has gone, but still disappointing. Who doesn’t want Tim Wakefield to do well?

Speaking of wanting to do well, congrats to ‘Tek on getting the award for catching more games than anyone else in Red Sox history. 1,000 starts behind the plate is pretty hard to put into perspective, but how about this one: the Red Sox acquired Varitek (and Derek Lowe) for Heathcliff Slocum from Seattle ten years ago and I’m still laughing all the way to the bank on that one.

So no spoilage for tonight, but tomorrow…tomorrow man, Schilling’s back. Or the probable pitchers thing on redsox.com isn’t working properly, but it appears that the Ace will get his shot at win number 15 tomorrow night against Boof Bonser, who might have the best name in professional sports. Certainly not the best stat line, though. GO SOX!!!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Games 149 - 150: Can I Get A Witness?: Marathon

Final Scores:

Game 149: Boston Red Sox 6, New York Yankees 3
Game 150: Boston Red Sox 5, New York Yankees 4


It was 11:45 PM, the crowd slowly filling out of Yankee Stadium, Frank Sinatra blaring over the loudspeakers even though Mike Myers, Kyle Farnsworth and Jorge Posada conspired to give Boston their third straight win and I found myself at the tail end of a fantastic day for any New England sports fan. 10 hours earlier, I had left Brooklyn and traveled to the Meadowlands for the 4:15 contest between the Patriots and Jets, where the Pats took an early commanding lead in the first half, graciously allowed their hosts to get back in the game in the third, before reclaiming the game in the fourth. By the time my father and I left the Meadowlands and started north on the hell that is the post-game New Jersey Turnpike, it was approaching on 8:00. We knew the Sox won game one but with the journeyman (to put it kindly) Kevin Jarvis on the mound against Mike Mussina, a sweep of the doubleheader didn’t seem in the cards. “At least we don’t have to worry about an elimination party,” I thought.

10,000 years later, we arrived in the Bronx and started looking for parking. During our trip: a shaky first inning where the Yankees scored a run, with Boston striking back with a two run shot by Nixon in the top of the second. Miguel Cairo tied things up in the bottom of the inning with a sacrifice fly to score Bernie Williams, prompting Sterling and Waldman to have a minor orgasm over the ability of both Cairo and Nick Green (who moved Bernie over from second to third with a sacrifice bunt) to get the minor things done when it counted. It was now the fifth inning and we were discovering how incredibly difficult it is to get to Yankee Stadium an hour after the first pitch.

Finally we get in and all bitterness about arriving two-thirds of the way through the game, about having to drive 20 minutes to find a parking spot, about having to walk half a mile to get inside; all of it washed away when we discovered how awesome these seats were: first baseline, level with the first base umpire, maybe 15 rows back…it was an incredible place to be. Sure, the Yankees might have taken the lead with another two runs just minutes after we arrived and I might be contemplating “Splitsville” for a post title, but if we were going to go down, it was going to be in style. And then the eighth inning happens.

Loretta singles. Mike Myers comes in to do the one thing he’s on the Yankees to do: get out Big Papi (who by the way is the most popular person in the Bronx right now), who had already hit home run number 49 earlier that day. Myers walks Ortiz on four pitchers. Torre, perhaps as a punishment, leaves in Myers to face Lowell to get to Nixon. Lowell hits a blooper that falls in front of Abreu in right, moving Loretta to third. Somehow this plays gets ruled a fielder’s choice and Lowell ends up on first. Kapler pinch hits for Nixon, but Torre opts to stay with Myers and gets payoff when Kapler pops out. With two outs, up strides the Captain. Yankees fans, sensing the end of a comeback, start chanting “Season’s over!” but Varitek smacks a single to score Loretta, knocking the lead down to one run.

Pinch hitter: the Stud Who Hits Bombs, in place of rookie David Murphy. This move makes absolutely no sense to me; maybe Mirabelli gets the call because he’s got more experience hitting sidewinders than Murphy. In any case, three pitches later Belli leans into one and takes one off the shoulder. I’m now screaming something about key players getting the job done. Dustin Pedroia, who looks like a little kid next to the average baseball player, gets the job done himself when Posada flubs a pitch in the dirt, allowing Lowell to score. And yes, getting out of the way of a pass ball is getting the job done - the kid didn't strike out in the process (Wily Mo - take notes here). Sure, Pedroia grounds out with the next pitch, but Boston ties the game. I am now a ball of barely compressed excitement.

Javier Lopez somehow survives the bottom of the eighth unscathed, an even more remarkable feat in these times of bullpen insecurity. He gets a major boost from Coco Crisp’s leaping ability, as the much-maligned center fielder robs Posada of a two run home run with a leaping catch that plucks the ball from the air just as it’s about to sail over the wall. Johnny Damon, eat your heart out. It’s now clear to everyone in the park that the baseball gods have preordained this win to go to Boston, a feeling underscored in the top of the ninth when Carlos Peña greets Farnsworth with a double. Crisp moves pinch runner Cora to third on a bunt and Loretta knocks in the go-ahead run with a sacrifice fly before Farnsworth is able to get the final two outs.

The final three outs of this marathon day: Timlin gets Williams on a ground out, but then makes things interesting by giving up a single to Damon. A-Rod, comes to the plate, ignores the urge to hit into a double play (the Yankees fan in front of me pleading with him to “pretend it’s the fourth inning and you’re up by 10 runs”) and pops out instead, igniting such a rain of boos that I almost felt bad chanting “A-Fraud” as he rounded first base. Almost. When Melky Cabrera ended the game with a fly ball to left, it wasn’t surprising, it was destiny. Hell, for Red Sox fans, with little left to look forward to in the next couple of weeks, it was destination. GO SOX!!!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Games 147-148: Can I get a witness?: Masochist’s edition.

Final Scores:

Game 147: Boston Red Sox 5, New York Yankees 2
Game 148: Boston Red Sox 5, New York Yankees 7

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I called my father as soon as I stepped off the D train at Yankee Stadium.

“I feel like Job.” I told him.

It seemed apt. When I had first made these plans to see this double header (thanks again Mike) the race was close. Hell, the Red Sox had a 3 game lead and looked like they were about to step into a groove. That groove turned out to be a rut. The SOX gave and the SOX taken away.

Now I must endure the trials before me. The pain, suffering and anguish and in the end STILL profess love for a team that seems to have forsaken my devotion. Sundered dreams fading away as I clutch them to my chest. Even worse, I must bare witness to this misery in the home of my enemy. I must watch, my depression hidden, as my champions are victimized by a group of ner-do-wells while the pinstriped zealotry laughs in malicious triumph.

So I had a feeling this could suck.

All in all, this series means very little. The Yankees are too far ahead to be in real trouble and the Sox are too far out of the wild card race to have a real shot. It’s been this way for weeks… so will the bad blood even be a factor?

Ummm… yeah. Papi’s comments on the whole MVP thing (as misquoted and taken out of context as they were) have made him persona non grata in Yankeeland. Even A-Rod wasn’t booed as bad as he got it today. Fans screamed their heads off, chanting “JETER, JETER, JETER” and “BOSTON SUCKS” and etc., etc., etc. Funny thing is, the lack of Manny in the lineup affected Ortiz more than all that ruckus. He was 2-2 (2 doubles), but was walked 3 times. I guess Wily Mo isn’t much in the way of protection. In fact, we wagered on who would have more strikeouts Wily or Wang (push at 3 a piece).

But today it was about the rest of the team (see: scrubs) stepping up and helping Beckett get his 15th win. Murphy, Belli and Hinske all had big hits in the win. The bullpen’s lackluster performance (I now watch Foulke and Timlin with my hands over my eyes) was just enough to finish it out. I can’t believe it! They won!

But unfortunately, that’s where my ride stopped. I had some unforeseen work things to do in the PM, and my friends were taking off, so the second game wasn’t graced with my presence. Evidently, that was quite fortuitous for me.

Tavarez got rocked JUST slightly less hard than Johnson, but the Sox pen found a way to lose thanks to combined crap efforts from Hansen and Breslow. To top things off, Wily Mo managed to hurt himself in the 9th inning. Wow, am I glad I didn’t stick around to see this one. It would have been brutal for my already bloodied and ravaged soul. Dodged a bullet.

Tomorrow is another endurance test. Again with the day/night double header? Why must we face these trials? Lucky for me I share this duty with Eric. As a special treat, he will be in attendance behind enemy lines to view the same spectacle I witnessed. Why do we do this you ask? Why do we subject ourselves to this torture? Because we’re SOX NATION. And besides…. We got no place else to go! GO SOX (have fun Eric).

Friday, September 15, 2006

Game 146: Will He Stay Or Will He Go?

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 6, Baltimore Orioles 5


Quick summary: Red Sox offense > Baltimore bullpen < Red Sox bullpen > Baltimore starter Adam Loewen < Red Sox starter Lenny DiNardo. You follow all that? Basically, Lenny DiNardo is the weakest link, but the bats triumph in the end and another series ends with a win. Fun fact: playing Baltimore this year is fun, even when the games don’t count.

But let’s talk about what really seems to matter to the people these days: who’s going to be coming back to the team next year. Robin has some ideas, some of which seem quite foolish to the normal, logical person that he laid forth yesterday for all to see and for DC to mock. Now it’s my turn. I’m basing the list of free agents off of this handy tool I found at mlb4u.com, which seems to be pretty trustworthy. So, here goes (and make sure to put your own thoughts on the matter in the comments section):

Keepers:
  • Keith Foulke: You want Paps in the rotation next year? You need people in the bullpen. I’m not saying Foulke is going to be closing again in 2007, but there’s only so many people you can get rid of before you’re understaffed, even with Boston’s farm system.

  • Alex Gonzalez: Sure, his hitting isn’t so great, but that’s one heck of a glove out there – and one not easily replaced. The only other good option of the market this year is Julio Lugo and I think the Dodgers will probably want to hold on to him.

  • Gabe Kapler: A Sox game without the Hebrew Hammer on the bench is like a day without sunshine or a nuclear assault without the radiation. One of the happiest days of the 2005 season was the day Kapler came back to the bench from Japan and by God, he should be on that bench in 2007.

  • Mark Loretta: You can’t get rid of the Pro, part 2! This shouldn’t even be a matter of discussion.

  • Doug Mirabelli: Timmy Knuckles will be a Red Sox until he retires, he gets sick of Boston or someone in the Front Office pulls a dick move and doesn’t renew his yearly option. I think we’ve seen what happens when someone else tries to catch Tim Wakefield.

  • Tim Wakefield: See Doug Mirabelli.
Leavers:
  • Alex Cora: It’s been a good two years, Alex “Don’t Call Me Joey” Cora. You’ve had some clutch hits, stolen some bases and generally done a good job as a utility infielder. However, Pedroia’s here to stay and although he’s probably not ready for the primetime at second base, he can fill your role quite well and for cheaper.

  • Mike Holtz: You, Richard Hurtz and Michael Hunt should start a band together. Get it? Get it?

  • Kevin Jarvis: A.k.a. stopgap pitcher. ‘nough said.

  • Javy Lopez: Wait, I thought they released you. Also, your agent’s name is Chuck Berry, which is probably the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. Johnny B. Goode, but for the Sox, Javy B. Terrible, so even if you’d stuck around I don’t think you’d be coming back in 2007.

  • Trot Nixon: It’s been a good long run, but I think we all knew your time in Boston was up when the Sox traded for Wily Mo this Spring.

  • J.T. Snow: Are you even playing baseball anymore?

  • Mike Timlin: Will Ted Nugent be playing your retirement party?
Tomorrow, that last gasp of rivalry: the final Sox/Yanks series, a four game showdown in the Bronx. As luck would have it, Robin will be going to both games of Saturday’s double-header, while I’ll be hitting up the finale on Sunday, so we’ll be able to give you a Can I Get a Witness two days in a row. If luck will continue to have it, neither one of us will have to witness the Yankees AL East victory celebration. GO SOX!!!