If the first seven innings or so of this game were to be reduced to a conversation between Ohka and the Red Sox offense, it might look like something like this:
Ohka: Ok guys, here's how it's going to go down tonight: I'm not a particularly good pitcher any more and you guys really should beat me like a red headed stepchild on a rented mule, so here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to hang breaking pitches like it's going out of style. What you do with them is your business...
Sox batters: Say what? You're kidding, right? You're actually messing with us completely, because there's no way you'd be that stupid.
Ohka: Oh yeah? Just try me. [Throws a hanging curve that begs to be driven out of the yard to Lugo, who swings and misses] See? I want you to crack these suckers.
Sox batters: Daaaamn. [Shakes collective head] That's got to be a fluke; no way you'd do that again.
Ohka: Oh, really? [Throws another hanging pitch. Lowell, Mirabelli, Ortiz and J.D. Drew all hit singles] See?
Sox batters: Oooooh...Do it again!
Ohka: Ok! [Pitches a soft lob, freezes time, invites Lowell, Mirabelli and Ortiz to the plate. All three hitters smash home runs]
Sox hitters: [The light brightens on the faces of all nine hitters] We get it now...Not that we'll hit anything, mind you, but cool idea. [Just then, the Blue Jays catch on to Ohka's ruse and pull him from the game. Red Sox do not score a run for the rest of the game]
Meanwhile, Tim Wakefield might have tossed three walks, but he's also given up a grand total of four runs over 20 innings. Prior to tonight's game, his ERA+ was 299, which translates to super awesome plus kick ass (as a point of reference, Pedro's best ERA+ was 285, in 2000). Wake's got about 30 more appearances left in the regular season, so I'm not naming him pitching god quite yet, but damn what a great start to the year.
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