Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Game 19: Bird Flu

Final Score: Toronto Blue Jays 10, Boston Red Sox 3

You know, a Blue Jay is just a more colorful crow. These are dirty birds that have a call that sounds like the life being squeezed out of an infant. Even worse, they eat all my seeds. Bastards.

The Toronto baseball team isn’t much better. Just when we couldn’t be higher, the freaking Canucks come down from their land of “free healthcare” and “low crime” and “hockey” and then they take the Sox to task.

We just swept the Yankees why can’t we handle the supposed “dregs” of the AL East?

Oh, Roy Halladay vs Tavarez again. Yikes.

It was inevitable. I can’t believe we won this match up last time (in fact I specifically said that) so it would have taken an act of God to get past it twice. Tavarez has been pitching on pure crazy for about 3 years now and it doesn’t always fly. Today was one of those days. He was hit hard and the ass ton of fricking errors didn’t help either. Come on guys. You know better than to drop those on JT Killer! Now you are going to have dead dogs left in your locker.

The Sox managed to squeeze some runs out of Halladay. Lowell (who is literally ablaze) went yard and Papi got his RBI in… but those were the highlights. Manny still isn’t hitting, Pena seems to be in a RUSH to break the strikeout record and Pedroia looks as amazing as ever. No wait… he sucks.

This game also doubled as the introduction to the Dark Side of the bullpen. Tonight’s star in this morbid debut was none other than Kyle Snyder. He pushed a game that was already out of reach to pants down spanking levels. The only surprise was the inability of Pineiro and Timlin to really embarrass everybody. Truly shocking.

This makes me want to punch something hard. Wait what is that? Another bird? A little orange fellow? So bright and colorful and full of life? Yeah… Orioles... prepare to meet your pane of completely transparent glass.

Splat.