Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Game 93: A Sad State

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 3, Kansas City Royals 9

The Royals? We got our asses kicked by the Royals? This is like coming in second in the Special Olympics except you KNOW you’re retarded. Where’s the short bus and the rubber pants because the Sox are ready to take the slow road to head-slapping-town.

Honestly I don’t have the time or the patience to go into how much of a disaster this was (Wakefield I am looking at you) because I am moving and causing a drastic change in the blog format (more on that to come later).

This was seriously the worst thing that could have happened. Doesn’t anyone realize that the Yankees are breathing down our necks (only 8 games back now)? Don’t people know that a .500 record isn’t going to cut it for the rest of the season? Hasn’t the bench duo of Hinske and Mirabelli been bad enough to induce vomiting in most rational humans?

These are the dregs and we are supposed to beat up on the dregs. This calls for ultimate phony parental crazy guilt.

Ahem…

The Sox don’t have the best record in baseball… is that what you wanted? To be second best? How can you do this to this to our nation/family? Haven’t we cared for you enough? Haven’t we been there through thick and thin? DO YOU WANT TO SEE US IN PAIN??? Look… you’ve made your mother cry. She’s crying because you fail. Just go. Do whatever you want, but don’t come crawling back here expecting a playoff run. God, you make me so crazy.

See? Scary wasn’t it? More losses like this and there's more where that came from. You’ve been warned, Red Sox.