Game 117: I Am Sorely Disappointed

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 3, Baltimore Orioles 6

Deep breath.

Count to ten.

Put down that chair; neither it nor the wall you're about to break it on ever did anything to you.

Ok, I'm pretty sure I can type rationally now. I've accepted that Eric Gagne has proven once and for all that he can't come into a game with less than a five run lead to protect. Because now we all know Francona won't go to him in situations where there's even the possibility of a blown save - he'll put someone off the bench on the mound first. If he's lucky, Gagne will have the opportunity to earn the trust he brought with him back bit by bit through some sort of cleanup program. If he's not...well, there's always designation for assignment. To the fifth circle of hell.

Watching Gagne's second game-losing meltdown in three days brought to mind another pitcher who came to Boston with high hopes in the spring of 2006, one Rudy Seanez by name. You might remember Rudy from such tragi-comedy works as "I Put the Game Out of Reach" (staring the Detroit Tigers), "I Nearly Lost the Game for Us" (with Atlanta's Jeff Francoeur) and "Yes, I Just Walked the Winning Run." Or, if you're like me, you blocked out Seanez's second coming to Boston
just as hard core as you did the first time he wore the red stirrups. Except now Gagne's pulling the exact same stunts in the exact same role and I'm starting to get PTSD flashbacks.

Let's wind up this little Gagne hate fest with Robin's theory, which he imparted to me to share with you, dear reader, after he called me up in a blind rage this afternoon. In his opinion, the Yankees actually did win the Eric Gagne bidding sweepstakes, but somehow bought Gagne's silence in the process. Much like Ramiro Mendoza, Gagne's actually an embedded Yankee, determined to bring the Sox down enough for New York to win the AL East. So far, I'd say he's succeeding.

Making the List

At this point in the spring (nearly a week away from opening day) pretty much every position player (barring injury or some Florida related trauma) has their position locked up. Thanks to Paps return to the closer role, the rotation is changed slightly, but it too is now cast in bronze. All that remained was the list of names that would pitch the majority of the 7th and 8th innings this year (hopefully nothing earlier). A list of the cast and crew of the bullpen. A list of the jobbers, the band-aids, the setup specialists, and the rejects.

So excuse me as channel Joe McCarthy and stand on my blogging soap-box and yell:

“I hold in my hand a list of names!”

Unfortunately this is an incomplete list. It’s just the guys who made it and some notable absentees. Just like in little league, if you have a (*) next to your name you made the team. Good luck guys.

*Mike Timlin: Starting the season on the DL is always bad. Reports are that if he was younger he could push it and be ready for opening day, but come on… wasn’t he too old last year?

Bryan Corey: A young arm that isn’t yet ready for the big show. He may be a September call up or a long shot to make it if one of the other guys goes down.

Manny Delcarmen: Juuuust missed the cut. MDC had a very mediocre spring and is going to AAA for his troubles. If someone doesn’t work out as planned, he’ll be back up quick. Otherwise, see you in September.

*Brendan Donnelly: Another vet. This guy looked like a great pick up, but he too looks long in the tooth. One of the first to drop out of the closer lottery.

Kason Gabbard: Gabbo had a really good spring training, but not good enough apparently. He is going to be a starter in Pawtucket and I wouldn’t be surprised if he made a few spot starts in the big leagues out of the 5th spot.

Craig Hansen: Bottom line… he pitched himself out of a roster spot. The once dubbed “Closer of the Future” has been AWFUL since the middle of last year. Another happy Boras client.

Jon Lester: The ace of the AAA crew? Once he gets checked out and looks 100% I think Lester is bound for the bigs. Probably the first called up if the injury bug bites.

*Javier Lopez: “Death to Lefties!” is his rallying cry. Is he a true LOOGY? I dunno, but at least he is another left handed arm for the pen. He should be better this year now that he’s the only Javy Lopez on the team.

*Hideki Okajima: This is the lefty reliever we got from Japan, not Dice-K’s translator. Yeah I was confused too. He will stick with the big club so Matsuzaka has someone to carry his equipment.

David Pauley: One of the injury replacements for the decimated pitching staff last year. Although he held his own, let’s just say I am not too saddened he didn’t make the club. Maybe in September.

*J.C. Romero: Wasn’t this the guy who we tried to get from the Twins last year, but then it turned out he was on steroids? Now he’s in the pen?!?! Oh wait, he’s another lefty. That’s like a reliever’s “Get out of jail free” card.

*Joel Pineiro: Won’t be starting, won’t be closing, and isn’t named Rudy Seanez. Yeah, I can deal with him as the set up guy.

*Kyle Snyder: Just call him the anti-Craig Hansen. He performed quite well this spring and earned himself a long relief role.

Pretty much cut and dry. Biggest shocks were Kyle Snyder making it and Hansen blowing it. This is a deeper pen than last year and even though it isn’t AWE inspiring, it isn’t vomit inspiring either. Still, to keep with political metaphor, I think "The Red Scare" could be a good nickname for this crew.

A Fox Among the Chickens

Remember Ego and Super Ego, the feature where Robin and I simulate the thought processes of a typical Red Sox fan in word form? Well, the announced return of the Papal-Bon to the role of closer snapped something inside both of us, so Ego and Super Ego is back. My comments in normal text, Robin's in italics. Enjoy...

It's official: Jonathan Papelbon will be the closer for 2007, ending weeks of speculation about the future owner of the job, the health of Papelbon's shoulder, the foolishness of the Sox for moving him out of the position, the need for a closer, etc., etc., etc. While I'm glad the wait is over, because I was getting really sick of every sportscaster feeling the need to add their opinion to the mix, that doesn't mean I don't have some mixed feelings about seeing Paps back in the pen. Being the logical, organized type, I've laid out the pros and cons of making this transition.

Being the pissed off psycho type, I am gonna break down his lame assumptions and tell you what the real deal is with this freaking travesty of a no-win, zero sum, awful choice this team just made. Honestly… I’m a little excited.

Pros:

• Proven track record: the seven runs over 70 innings, the 75 strikeouts and 13 walks, the sheer badassity of a closer who didn't give up his first run until halfway through 2006 all speak for themselves.
  
  Oh come on! Everyone knows Paps is the second coming. That’s the freaking point. He comes in = the game ends.
  
  
• Stronger arm: after last year's shoulder scare, Papelbon has gone through a boatload of strengthening exercises and, according to his quote in the Herald, has talked to a "million doctors" who all seem to agree that his new exercise regimen will give him the arm strength he needs to keep a live arm all season. He now feels he can perform in either role, as the team needs him.
  
  Stronger than what? He looked fine until the end of last season when he collapsed like someone whose name rhymes “Crap Lament” last season. And what’s this magic strength training? Tai-Bo? Or has he been hitting the medicine balls so hard that anything larger than a cantaloupe gives him fits?
  
  
• A much better option: was I worried about Julian Tavarez or Joel Pineiro coming in to shoot down the opposition Rivera-style in close contests? You bet your ass I was. We know Paps can get the job done and get it done well and that counts for a lot of peace of mind.
  
  No crap. Last time I checked everyone was getting rocked this spring. And you usually can’t get piece of mind from a guy who played Tony Montana in the Sox clubhouse version of Scarface.
  

Cons:

• Arm health: what if the doctors are wrong or the exercise regimen doesn't work and Papelbon's arm falls off, as I keep fearing it will? I admit my irrational fears don't go up very well against a "million doctors," but I won't feel any better if I'm right and Paps can't pitch anymore. Plus, Papelbon is a warrior: he'll probably keep pitching until his arm does fall off because he's so committed (although Curt Schilling seems to feel otherwise).
  
  Plus, this is idiotic. Severe arm damage is something you’d notice in his performance. If he ends up sucking cause he’s hurt, we are back at square screwed.
  
  
• Pitching limitations: according to the quotes in the Herald, there are big limitations on how often and how long Papelbon can pitch - no multiple inning outings and no pitching four or five nights in a row. I trust Francona not to blow this restriction, but do I trust the rest of the bullpen to step up and keep the runs off the board on those nights when Papelbon can't pitch? It's a big risk.
  
  This I really don’t understand. If we are risking this guy by making him the closer, then why not run him into the ground and get all the wins we can get out of him. What? If he’s gonna get hurt anyway, we might as well bleed him dry.
  
  
• Replacement effectiveness: with Papelbon back in the 'pen, Julian Tavarez will take his spot in the rotation. He did well enough in the role at the end of last year to be a fifth starter and he definitely wants to be there, but we're talking about Julian Tavarez, the man most likely in 2006 to suffer a mound meltdown - after Rudy Seanez, of course - taking the reins in 2007 at the back of the rotation. Ignoring the loss in quality that lowers the rotation from godlike to pretty good, Tavarez is a scary unknown factor as a pitcher in general and a starter in particular.
  Lord, Tavarez again? Can you imagine every 5 days dealing with “Mask and Chainsaw” night at Fenway? Could somebody go check the white blood cell count on Jon Lester?
  

Basically, it's a tie - it's nice to know the man closing out games is as reliable as they come, but Papelbon's return to the pen opens up a whole new set of potential problems to worry about as the season opens. I'm excited, but more than a little freaked out about what could happen.

It’s brutal that a “tie” means that we take a potential 15-18 game winner and turn him into a 35+ save closer who has a chance to burnout in August. But there really aren’t any other good options are there.

May a Team Win. Doesn't Have to be the Best One, Just a Team

So, um…congratulations, Cardinals. Not only did you make Robin and I look like fools, you managed to suck less than all of your division for the whole year and turn things on when it really counted. Tony Massarotti might be pissed about the mediocre caliber of the 2006 World Series Champions, but I think this season should serve as a wakeup call to the NL Central: stop half-assing things, guys. Any of you had the chance to take the Cardinals and their 83 and 78 record down a notch when it mattered…now you’ve got a little more motivation to do so. Clearly all any of you need to do is outlast your competition (dominating is so 20th century) and a playoff berth is yours.

Also: is Massarotti suggesting the Sox try to steal Jones away from the Tigers? Because that has “Rudy Seanez” written all over it. Is he saying that Boston should go after an older closer, or just that the front office should look for a closer with a lower walks per nine innings ratio? Because it’s not readily apparent from the end of that article where you were going, Tony.

I have to say, if it was the last option (walks per 9 innings) even if Jim Leyland feels better about losing to a double or a home run than he does to a walk (and yes, he really said that), I wouldn’t and I’m pretty sure most other people wouldn’t, either. There are better stats out there, like WHIP and K/9, to measure a potential closer and I’m willing to bet that the stat heads in the front office will be looking at more than just one stat to figure out who they’re going to go after to close next year.

Finally, I present to you the slogan for the 2007 version of the Team from Queens: “The Mets: As Arrogant as Ever.” Bring it on, guys. We’ll finish what we started this past June and avenge 1986 all at the same time. GO SOX!!!

Meet the New 'Pen, Same as the Old 'Pen?

I think it’s clear Robin and I should stay as far away from gambling as possible. Not only have we been completely wrong about the World Series (eh tu, Tigers?), but we are already 0 for 1 on signing predictions: Mike Timlin is coming back for another year in the trenches. DC loves this news because it means another year of “Black Betty,” but I’m going to go for cautiously optimistic: if a normal Spring Training, a completely healed shoulder injury (you forgot about that one didn’t you? Yeah, me too) and a more balanced bullpen that doesn’t rely on Timlin as the every day go-to guy mean one last good year, I’m all for it. Also, when you need pitching help (and oh, does Boston need pitching help), you don’t look a gift horse (1 year, $2.8 million, with the player willing to do his own negotiation and take a pay cut to play) in the mouth. If it works, it works; if it doesn’t, at least Timlin will never be Rudy Seanez.

Games 122-123: Alcohol is now the only solution

Final Scores:

Boston Red Sox 5, New York Yankees 13
Boston Red Sox 5, New York Yankees 8

I feel sorry for people who don't drink, because when they wake up, that's best they feel all day -- Frank Sinatra

I am not going to go into great detail describing these games. If you are viewing this page it is as safe bet that you are a Sox fan and that you SAW these games. Hell, it’s a safe bet almost EVERYONE in both Boston and New York saw these games. So why would you need to read depressing imagery about how Beckett was a total disaster on Saturday or how the bullpen completely failed to preserve what Schilling had done on Sunday. You don’t want to read it and I don’t want to write it. It hurts too much.

So what to do? There are 39 games left in the season and for the first time in 4 years the Red Sox look like they are finished (I am not talking “doom and gloom” like the KC series… they look like they are ready to pack it in). How does one prepare for the near meaningless grind that will be the last month and a half of the season?

Well, the Red Sox will start by making some roster moves between here and Pawtucket. I was delighted to see Jason Johnson and Rudy Seanez take the slow road to DFA town. These guys aren’t worth their weight in industrial waste. It’s a shame it took this long for the front office to see that their “skills” would be better utilized if they were test animals for scientific experiments. Van Buren (already called up AND sent back down) may see some more time with the big club, Javier Lopez (already called up AND ineffective) could be on the AAA shuttle, and maybe rookie sensation Dustin Pedroia could see some time patrolling the solemn grounds of Fenway as the season slips farther and farther away.

The fans have another obstacle to overcome while time drags on. How do you block out these last few weeks while waiting for next season? The answer is simple: Booze!

This series has proven to me that to watch these games without going crazy, you need to get as bombed as the Sox bullpen. You need to knock ‘em back as quick as the Yankees load the bases. Sure you might get fired because you show up to work late and hung over, and sure you are doing irreparable damage to your liver and kidneys by drowning the losses in beer, AND sure you may have to sit through some boring “interventions” held by concerned friends and family… but once you are blind drunk enough not to see your favorite team spiral down into a season ending funk… well then I think you’ll agree with me that it was worth it.

So do as David “Boomer” Wells does (the last starter of this abortion of a series btw) and get blotto! Yeah!!! GO SOX… hic…

Game 117: Not Quite Good Enough

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 4, Detroit Tigers 7


Unfortunately, this one was a lot closer than it looks. In the bottom of the eighth, after a couple of close calls against starter Nate Robertson, the Sox finally got to a Tigers pitcher: reliever Joel Zumaya. Loretta, Manny, Youkilis and Lowell all hit singles; Loretta scored on the Youkilis play, but Manny met the ball (and the out) at home when he tried to score off of Lowell’s hit to center. It was a key out, as Wily Mo struck out to end the inning and kill the rally, but it’s also one of the thankfully very few times that DeMarlo Hale has screwed up a call this year. In the scheme of things, of course, that’s great: you don’t want to hear about how your third base coach is doing, or how he once against sent a runner to certain doom at home. Unfortunately, in this case, Manny was out about two miles away from home and it probably cost Boston the game. Sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the third base coach gets you. I’m not going to hold it against Hale, though; he’s got a few free passes left.

The other item of the evening that put the game permanently out of reach? Rudy Seanez’s second inning on the mound. After another subpar Beckett performance, Seanez came in to eat some innings/keep Boston in the game/not suck and he managed to do all three in the seventh, his first inning of work: no runs, side in order, nasty breaking stuff making the hitters looked foolish. Second inning, not so much: after Guillen grounded out to start the inning, Francona let Seanez stick around (although really, what choice did he have with the way the bullpen has worked recently) until he had loaded the bases and given up two runs on a single to Vance Wilson. Fortunately, Craig Breslow was as effective today as he was against Oakland a month ago, going an inning and two thirds without any further damage. Not that it was enough, mind you, but I’m looking for a bright spot here.

Tomorrow night: Schilling versus Bonderman for game two. Let’s nip this little Tigers rally in the bud, shall we? GO SOX!!!

Game 99: The Weary Rest, the Strong Sleep Confidently

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 13, Oakland Athletics 5

What the hell is a safe lead now-a-days? First, the Sox kick the crap out of A’s rookie pitcher Jason Windsor. Manny and Nixon go deep and they’re up 6-1. Now you figure you can put the kids to bed. You got work tomorrow? Never fear! Schilling has a 5 run lead so you can get your beauty rest and feel fresh for that morning meeting. Whew.

BUT NO. Nothing can be easy. We have to wade through a VERY mediocre Schilling performance (6 innings, 4 earned, 105 pitches, 13th win) while the bats just seemed to quit after being so hot. Would it KILL a Sox starter to go more than 6 innings against anyone besides the Royals? Delcarman gives one back in the 7th (where did his control go?) and now it’s a one run game! This is really a nightmare to anyone with a sleep disorder. Can anything end this madness?

You better believe it. In the 8th everything seemed to change. Oakland relievers Duchscherer and Halsey pitched like they put big money on the Sox (and picked the over). All the hits went through, everything dropped in, and every batter looked like a giant. To give Oakland some credit, the umpire was inconsistent (screw that… he was bad) and the walks really hurt them. Highlights of that inning was the base clearing double by Tek, followed by Ortiz, Manny and Nixon crossing the plate within 3 feet from each other, and then seeing eye singles from Lowell, Crisp and Youk. 6 runs and an ear to ear smile from me. Thank you… I needed that. The game is now ready for some ZZ Flop (the new moniker for Julian and Rudy). Now can we speed this up so I can get some shut eye?

Yeah right. After Tavarez got into and out of a jam in the 8th (a nice DP), Scott Sauerbeck can’t get a ball over the plate and loads them without getting an out in the 9th. One injury delay and pitching change later and we are looking at the sixth Oakland pitcher today. Another sac fly… another run… can we call the mercy rule now? I guess so! Cue Seanez and sweet mother mercy.

So later today (yawn) is the final and the chance for the sweep. Snyder vs Haren and I hope they can get to Haren early... because that pen is severely depleted. Bring the brooms. Now for the sleep of the victorious.

GO SOX.

Taking Stock #2: Halftime Report

With the All-Star break wrapping up (and the AL getting the home field advantage), I figured it was about time to do another team overview like I did earlier in the season. Once again in order by jersey number:

2 Willie Harris: Ah yes, the pinch runner. I don’t think he’s swung a bat since May. That’s a good thing. If you can keep stealing those bases and occasionally catch the ball when Manny’s cell phone rings in the 9th inning, then you can stick around… till Wily Mo comes back.

3 Mark Loretta: Hey now! He’s an All-Star! Streaky as all get out, Marky-Mark is the definition of a “hot and cold” hitter. Also, he and Lowell have a competition over who’s the more boring interview. If he didn’t have a career .300 average, Loretta would be a tax adjuster.

7 Trot Nixon: Without Wily Mo in the lineup, Trot has been getting the lion’s share of at bats. Kapler will sometimes face the tough lefty, but Trot has done most of the work… and looking at his average it’s paid off (just forget the 0-8 show in the 19 inning game).

10 Coco Crisp: Back from his broken finger, Coco has been a bit of a disappointment. He lost his leadoff spot to OBP guru Youkilis and is floundering in the 8th spot. I have a feeling he just needs to get back into the groove. Luckily he can catch a ball like nobody’s business.

11 Alex Gonzalez: He seems to have misplaced his “As Advertised” sign. Oh, he’s still fielding like a champ (only 2 errors and he now holds the Sox consecutive errorless streak), but NOW he’s also hitting. If he can keep his bat as hot as his glove… ok that’s asking a lot. Just try to stay above .250 Gonzo.

16 David Wells: I know why Wells has such a problem, His wEight and hIS poor shApe conflict with his Fierce nATure. Not an ASSet to the team. Any Dan Brown fans crack my code?

18 Jason Johnson: By the time you read this JJ will have been demoted… to SINGLE A. Better than he deserves. This hump belongs on a camel walking the desert of the DFA. Ok that went to a weird place.

19 Josh Beckett: Up and down. He looks great and then looks like a guy who throws straight fastballs right down the middle. He has an 11-4 record, but it could be 13-2 if he would start to throw with his brains over his balls. If he can get a little more discipline…yada yada yada.

20 Kevin Youkilis: Sorry Coco, I think this might be a permanent switch. Youk still drives up those pitch counts and gets on base like a fiend. He has been striking out a lot (shades of Bellhorn) but is still a better option than Crisp at the top of the order. He has been playing a mean first base too.

22 Wily Mo Pena: Still on the DL with a wrist ouchie. He may come back in the next few days… sending Trot to ride some pine vs the lefties and Harris to pinch run in AAA. By the way, Arroyo was on the NL All-Star team. Not that I’m bitter.

23 Alex Cora: Has been on a platoon with Gonzo at short. Good for singles, defense and I hear he makes a great café latte. A real utility guy.

24 Manny Ramirez: His knee was sore and he couldn’t play in the All-Star game. No really, I swear! You just can’t judge it by his scorching offensive numbers. Manny got hot just in time for Francona to demand he rest. I hope he takes the heat with him into the second half… and I hope his knee feels better… cause it’s really hurt… honest.

25 Mike Lowell: This guy is still hitting doubles like it’s going out of style, except now he’s also hitting homeruns. Somebody inform Francona that the body of Jason Varitek should probably be lower than Lowell in the batting order. I might go as far as to move this XBH master to 5th. Oh, and he’s a lock for the Gold Glove. Just sayin.

28 Doug Mirabelli: Forget that he can’t really hit, he’s as big as a house and he looks like he’s about to get seconds on linguini… I am just so happy that the only guy on the planet that can consistently catch a knuckle ball is back on the Red Sox. Wake should have a picture of him next to his kids on his mantle.

29 Keith Foulke: Born 10/19/72 - Died 11/28/04. Wait, he’s still alive? Just on the DL? Nevermind.

30 Matt Clement: He went and caught a chronic case of “teh suck” and may not get off the DL for another month. When is the front office going to realize that they won’t be able to take care of this kitten and just stick him and a rock in a pillow case and throw it all in the river? Metaphorically speaking of course.

33 Jason Varitek: His slow start has turned into an all around BAD first half. Slumping, hurting or just ageing… our captain hasn’t been the dashing pirate pimp like he used to be. Tek needs to be placed lower in the order until he can turn his game around.

34 David Ortiz: Some are born into greatness, some achieve greatness and others have greatness thrust upon them… and then there are some who take greatness by the neck and hoist it over their head like a conquering warlord. Big Papi is in that last category… by himself…

37 Rudy Seanez: He just got a lucrative endorsement deal with Hoover Vacuum cleaners. Get where I am going with this?

38 Curt Schilling: He has a 10-4 record and he’s pitched better than that. He has run into some tough no-decisions and the offence has let him down a few times. Still, an amazing turnaround from last year. Almost gone unnoticed next to his performance on the mound is his leadership with the young pitching. I think Beckett, Paps, Lester and Delcarman are really learning a ton from Schill.

44 Gabe Kapler: One of the feel good stories of the year was the return of this clubhouse and fan favorite. Kap can still hit, run and catch with the best of the utility guys out there. However, I am a worried he will lose what little playing time he has when Wily Mo gets better.

48 Javier Lopez: He’s what we got from the White Sox for David Riske (suckers). Javy is not bad for a side-arm LOOGY. I bet he wishes people would stop calling him “Mike” or “Mr. Myers” though.

49 Tim Wakefield: Another guy that has pitched better than his record. God only knows how bad it would have been if Mirabelli didn’t come back. Ol’ Knuckles needs that guy like Keria Knightley needs a sandwich.

50 Mike Timlin: Here’s how you sum up Timlin: 90% lights out, 10% blowing big time. He will be rock solid for weeks and then give up 5 runs in an inning. I really think it’s an age thing. Time to let the younger arms shoulder the load. All that being said… I still want this guy as the setup man for Papelbon. I guess I’m just a creature of habit.

51 Julian Tavarez: What can I say? He’s been great lately. I really hope he can keep it up in the second half and turn into the reliable long man. I might have to stop making jokes about how crazy/ugly he is. Damn. I liked those jokes.

55 Lenny DiNardo: Another DL’ed guy and a member of the cursed 5th starter spot. If his neck gets better than maybe… nawww who am I kidding? I have no illusions about the “quality” of DiNards. Enjoy the vacation guy.

56 Manny Delcarmen: One of the young guns that’s holding the bullpen together. Had a rough start, but has been money lately. MDC is going to be a staple in the pen for years or until he’s over used and blows out his arm. Oh, sorry! That’s what would happen if he was on the Yankees. My bad.

57 Craig Hansen: Groomed to be the closer of the future, he may never get that shot if Papelbon continues to dominate (at least not this season). Hansen has a nasty fast ball that moves and he is getting better with every inning. I am loving the youth movement.

58 Jonathan Papelbon: Turns out he is human after all. So far he’s given up 3 runs and blown 3 saves. Other than that he’s as close to freaking perfect as you can get. 26 saves, a 0.59 ERA, an All-Star, a ROY candidate and can get your sisters number if he wants it. Yeah… he’s that good.

62 Jon Lester: This kid is the future, and boy is it bright. Already better than the guy he replaced (Clement who?), Lester is a lefty that will be on this staff for years to come. All these young good pitchers with high ceilings on the Red Sox? It’s almost too good to be true.

AAA’ed: Jemaine Van Buren, David Pauley, Kyle Snyder

Released/DFA’ed: J.T. Snow, Mike Holtz, Dustan Mohr

Traded: David Riske, Josh Bard

All in all, the Red Sox had a great first half. The best defense in baseball, a 53-33 record and a 3 game lead on the Yankees. Can they get 100 wins and will that get them into the playoffs? Yeah I think so. GO SOX

Game 86: Epic

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 5, Chicago White Sox 6


“You want it all but you can’t have it. It’s in your face but you can’t grab it”
- Faith No More, “Epic”

Such words might describe the feelings of Jonathan Papelbon and Mike Timlin tonight after today’s heart breaking loss. It might also describe Robin’s mental state after watching this nineteen-inning epic; he called me after Papelbon blew what turned out to be the most important save attempt of the year and I’m pretty sure he had blown a mental circuit. But really, after nineteen innings, I was ready for an ending, any ending. After all, epic battle or not, today was just the last game before the All-Star Break, not something really important.

So, post-mortem:

• Schilling: very awesome through five innings, fell off a bit in the sixth – might have something to do with getting hit off the shoulder by a Jim Thome line drive.


• Contreras: should have gotten his first loss of a year, especially after the (Red) Sox scored a run in the first and Schilling decided he was bringing some bad ass to the mound.


• Papelbon: No words against the Papal-Bon, but ouch, man, ouch. I think I heard Robin swear a blood oath to shoot down Jermaine Dye where he stands, but it might have been the blood pounding in my ears.


• Timlin: Don’t get me started. I’m just going to pretend this appearance and the blown save that went with it didn’t happen.


• Tavarez: Four innings of one hit baseball when it really mattered? Holy crap! Can we have this guy for the rest of the year, please? Pretty please?


• Seanez versus Politte: In the battle between the reliever with the 4.86 ERA and the reliever with the 8.04 ERA, you’d expect the guy with the lower ERA to come out on top. Of course, the guy with the lower ERA was Rudy Seanez (yeah, I was surprised, too), so we should be grateful for the two innings of scoreless pitching we got from him and wonder what happened to the bats during the second half of the ball game.

Ok, no sweep. And it’s the All-Star Break, so no real baseball for a few days. However, fear not: we’ve got something planned for you every day during the break, so make sure to check back regularly. GO A.L.!!!

Game 79: The AL East > The NL East

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 4, Florida Marlins 3


I think we can officially call the NL East a done deal. Sixteen games in this streak with one loss, a temporary setback in the face of one of the more effective pitchers in the game. Not necessarily indicative of results at the end of the year, let alone in the playoffs, but it’s gotten Boston on a hot streak after that tough series against Minnesota and it’s gotten them at least four games (and possibly five, depending on how the Mets do tonight) up on the rest of the division, so I’m not going to complain. What’s even more encouraging is that the Sox haven’t proven themselves to be one trick ponies during this incredible run: they’ve won games with pitching, they’ve won games with slugging, they’ve won with sparkling defense and well played bouts of small-ball, they’ve won with dominating performances where they’ve completely overwhelmed the opposition and walk-off thrillers where the ending was in doubt until the final pitch crossed the plate. Let’s be frank: they’ve been pretty frickin’ awesome to watch over the past few weeks.

Today Boston won with a mix of well-timed slugging and a bit of small ball to pull on top after Julian Tavarez again brought out his less-than-dominating side to pitch in the seventh. Solo shots by Youkilis, Varitek and Ortiz in the first, second and third innings set the stage for a decent performance by Lester, who scattered seven hits and two runs to leave with the victory in hand after the fifth. Unfortunately, five innings wasn’t enough; six innings or seven innings or anything that didn’t involve Julian Tavarez coming into the game would have been better. Back of the bullpen isn’t enough; having him or Rudy Seanez come into the game has become that you know I talked about back at the end of May. Even when either pitcher has a good day (like Tavarez did two days ago), you come into every pitch expecting the worse.

Anyway, Tavarez went an inning without problems before giving up the requisite game-tying home run in the seventh. In the eighth, it was time to strike back: Alex Cora reached after a fielding error at second base (another result of the streak: even when the Sox make errors, they don’t give up unearned runs), then moved to third on a single by Kapler. Youkilis hit a lined shot caught by a leaping Hanley Ramirez at third before Loretta knocked in the winning run with a sacrifice fly to left. Timlin and Delcarmen provided the hold in the seventh and eighth and Paps got his 25th save on a four out effort to complete the series win.

Next up, an old friend, as Boston goes from Miami to St. Peterburg for a three game set against Scott Kazimir and the Devil Rays. Josh Beckett gets the start against Kazimir tomorrow night at 7:15. Let the winning run continue! GO SOX!!!

Game 73: The God Of Clutch Strikes Again

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 8, Philadelphia Phillies 7

“That strategy makes absolutely no sense to me at all.”

- Jerry Remy on pitching to David Ortiz in clutch situations

Ladies and gentlemen, I put it to you plainly: no matter how the bullpen struggles, no matter how much the balance of the game seems to swing out of control, no matter how game the opposition into giving the Sox a fight to the finish, if you bring up David Ortiz in a tight situation with a chance to win and put a bat in his hands, nine times out of ten he’s going to use that bat to get the job done. Ortiz is so reliable in his production in high-pressure situations that a positive result is simultaneously awe-inspiring and expected; Red Sox fans watch him bat, waiting for that hit to make things right and are rarely disappointed.

Nine straight wins. Three sweeps in a row, the most since Morgan Magic in 1988. Boston’s done pretty well since running headlong from the pillow dome, although the Phillies were pretty game about trying to end the fun yesterday. Wake and Lidle dueled each other scoreless for five plus innings, until the Sox jumped out with the lead on a walk by Ortiz, a single by Manny, an RBI single from Lowell and an RBI, ground rule double by Coco Crisp to knock Lidle out of the game. By the time the Phillies put out the fire, the scoreboard showed six to nothing in favor of Boston. Wake’s streak of perfection ended in the seventh, when a single, a hit batsmen and a walk loaded the bases and ended the starter’s day. Unfortunately for Wakefield, Rudy Seanez decided that the game wasn’t close enough and let four runs cross the plate – all without getting a single out, of course. My dislike of the man and his inconsistent pitching, even with a bigf lead, knows no bounds. Javiar Lopez allowed Jimmy Rollins (who had a pretty clutch day himself) to score after his bases clearing triple, making the score six to five, Boston, before he and Timlin got Boston out of the inning.

In the ninth, Papelbon got Chase Utley, the first batter he faced, to two strikes before leaving a fastball up and in – Utley turned on it and drove it off the foul pole, tying on the game. The hit was the first homerun the closer has given up all year and his second blown save, but as in the past, Paps buckled down and went through the next inning and a third without incident. Neither Philly nor Boston scored in the tenth or eleventh, with Boston flubbing an aggravating bases-loaded, one out chance in the bottom of the eleventh with two ground balls to Rollins. In the top of the twelfth, a single by Shane Victorino off of Manny Delcarmen turned into a run after small ball outs moved Victorino to third and a double by Rollins off of Hansen, Delcarmen’s replacement, sent Victorino home, making the score seven to six Philadelphia and setting the stage for the bottom of the inning and Papi’s latest triumph.

Ortiz had some help, of course: a ground rule double down the left field line by Crisp set the table for an RBI single by Youk, who moved to second when the throw missed the cutoff man. Loretta drew a walk, bringing up Ortiz. Apparently deciding that he got lucky after walking Ortiz and pitching to Manny in the eleventh, Phillies manager Charlie Manuel opted to pitch to Papi instead, practically insuring the loss for his team. Hey, I’m happy with it and I’m sure all of you are, too.

So, now that we’ve blown through the whole bullpen – seven relief pitchers in one game – it’s time to face the high-riding Mets for the first time in 20 years. John Lester goes up against Alay Soler tonight at 7:05 to kick things off. GO SOX!!!

Game 67: Seanez Fails To Pitch Like A Man Afire

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 10, Atlanta Braves 7


Rudy Seanez certainly lives a charmed life, doesn’t he? Javier Lopez and, to a lesser extent, Manny Delcarmen might have set the table for Atlanta’s comeback in the seventh with a walk and a single respectively, but it was Seanez’s dead fastball to Francoeur that cleared the bases and gave Atlanta the lead. Truly Seanez’s outings are baffling: freakish occurrences of perfection gleam like fool’s gold in a group of truly terrible performances in high-pressure situations, the result seeming like shattered icebergs in an icy, unforgiving sea. Bringing in a reliever, especially one who’s there to put out a fire should be a calming event, like slipping slowly into a sun-bathed tropical sea. It should be like when Papelbon came in to get the last out of the eighth for Timlin, who was having an uncharacteristically bad day.

But no lasting goat honors for Seanez, even though with his performance yesterday we add another scar to the Red Sox Nation psyche. Aggravation fades quickly when your team improves on a record of 8 and 4 in games decided close and late and pick up its 22nd come-from-behind win. With two outs in the eighth, after both Papi and Manny struck out, the Sox opened up on the Braves bullpen and scored six runs (the first time they had done so after trailing in the seventh since 2001, against Tampa Bay) on a combination of walks, singles, a double and a home run, including RBI pinch hits by Lowell and Cora. Oh yes, Mr. Seanez, you owe the offense a big debt of gratitude: not even the two runs allowed by Timlin in the eighth could erase the victory you earned by getting the final out in the seventh, post-home run. If I was the conspiracy-oriented type, I might believe that you’re taking notes from Kyle Farnsworth.

Somehow we managed to escape from that road trip with a 3 and 3 record and a game up on New York – now it’s time to return to the green walls and pastures of Friendly Fenway and lay a beat-down on the Nationals. Former Red Sox prospect Tony Armas makes his Fenway debut for Washington versus Kyle Snyder, formerly of Kansas City via the waiver wire. Snyder, 28, threw two innings in his only appearance of the year: the Royals’ 16 – 12 beating of the Rangers on June 8. He gave up five earned runs on ten hits and striking out two. Excited yet? Yeah, me, too. Fortunately, he did better in the minors in 2006: 60.1 innings pitched, a WHIP of 1.20 and only 9 walks to 43 strikeouts. I guess we’ll see what those numbers translate to in Fenway, but I’m not holding my breath. GO SOX!!!

Game 56: Dude, Where's My Ball?

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 1, New York Yankees 2

It should have turned out differently in the end, but for the most of the night, David Pauley and his stoner player photo had the Yankee hitters fooled.

I’m going to ignore the negatives for the moment and talk about how well David Pauley pitched tonight, because he did a fabulous job. He went into a situation where, despite the potential he showed in Toronto on May 31, Robin, myself, the regular commenters on this blog, sports pundits everywhere and probably God Almighty thought he was going to get knocked around: pitching his second major league start in Yankee Stadium. Even Francona seemed to be a bit worried: with an overworked bullpen and a big question mark about the capabilities of the starting pitcher, Tito called up star prospect Craig Hansen from Pawtucket and put Alex Cora in at shortstop today – just because Cora can throw a weird knuckleball and could take over in relief if needed. My mind shudders to think of the possibility. But guess what? None of those preparations mattered tonight: Pauley was excellent, with six and two thirds innings of work, eight hits, two runs, two strikeouts, two walks, one double play and thirteen groundouts. The sinker sank, the change up, not well featured against the Jays, stymied the Yankee hitters and I was pretty damn impressed.

Unfortunately, the Sox had a few problems tonight. First, Chien-Ming Wang was on his game, too, making one mistake pitch to Papi in the third that ended up bouncing off the upper deck in left but keeping the Sox from advancing any other base runners past third for seven innings. Second, Kyle Farnsworth caught a huge break when Melky Cabrera robbed Manny of a home run that would have tied the game in the eighth. Words can’t describe my displeasure with that feat of athleticism, so we’ll move on. Remember when Cabrera couldn’t field? Yeah, those were fun times. Third, as good as Pauley was all night, he completely fell apart in the seventh after letting a routing grounder slip through his glove on what should have been the third out. Unable to pull it together, he left the game after walking the bases loaded, in time for the fourth and biggest problem of the night: Rudy Seanez.

Rudy, you get your own paragraph. Rudy, I don’t get it. You’re the default set-up man, now that Timlin is on the DL and Foulke is on his way there. As much as this concept scares the crap out of me, it’s the way things go for right now and you and I need to learn to accept this fact. Now, the job of the set-up man is to get holds, you know, those things where you come into a game and keep the score in favor of your team (or, in tonight’s case, even) by not giving up runs. All you had to do tonight was get Giambi out. Strikeout, pop out, ground out, fly out; any of those options were available and the Sox would have been out of the inning. Instead, you failed in your appointed task, walked Giambi and the winning run on six pitches, ending it all with a weak attempt to go inside that wouldn’t have fooled free-swinging Brad Wilkerson. You ruined the night for David Pauley and that makes me sad. Very sad.

Tomorrow night, Schilling versus Wright to avoid losing the series. I think it’s time for the big thunder to come out, time for the Sox to beat Wright like a redheaded stepchild on a rented mule. I want an old-fashioned blow out win and I want it bad. GO SOX!!!

Game 44: A Heaping Helping of HATE

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 6, New York Yankees 8

Some people I have less-than-love for right now

Randy Johnson. Because he’s a tall, nut job, hick who can’t admit he’s lost it. And he SOMEHOW got the win out of this debacle.

Matt Clement. Not because of his awful performance (4.1 innings, 9 H, 8 R, 4 BB, 4 K) but because he is a total wuss. The rest of this pitching staff has the BALLZ it takes to get out of the jams they make for themselves. EVEN FOULKE can come around after a bad performance. But put a little heat on Clement and he wilts like pansy. How Arroyo got traded and this wimpy little head case gets the ball every 5th day is beyond me.

Kelly Stinnett. Because he’s a fat tub that couldn’t get out of the way of an inside pitch and that's how he got his RBI. And he looks like Curly from the Three Stooges.

Dustin Mohr. Because if Coco was here he would be an alternate in Kansas City… or busing tables. It’s his call.

Terence Long. Because he falls into the “Totally sucked until I came to the Yankees” category. Tony Clark says “hi,” you hump.

Rudy Seanez. Because he didn’t suck (he pitched quite well, actually) and made it impossible for me to make fun of him. Jerk.

Wily Mo Pena. Because HOW COULD YOU NOT SCORE FROM THIRD ON THAT PASSED BALL????? Stinnett had to take a freaking bus to get to that thing! That ball was closer to the two homers Manny hit than to home plate. Run Forest, run!

Mariano Rivera. Because 9 times out of 10 you might as well make the end of the game an inning sooner.

David Ortiz. Because you had 4 K tonight. Because the bases were loaded and nobody scored. Because you ALWAYS hit that pitch off Farnsworth. Because you got my hopes up. Because this is one of the few times I’ll remember you letting me down.

Thursday. Because there’s no Red Sox game, so I have to think about this for another 24 hours.

Game 32: Enter The Yankees

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 14, New York Yankees 3

The Red Sox showed the unrelenting will of the warrior

This was one of those “statement” games. A “statement” to everyone who thinks the Red Sox look weak and thinks the lineup has huge holes. It’s a message to everyone like Mike Vaccaro (you filth) who want to hit our batters so they soften up. It’s a warning to everyone who thought the sweep would be easy for New York. Ah grasshopper, you forgot one thing. The Red Sox Kung Fu is now stronger in the Bronx Dojo. The Sox powerful chi flows freely through even the most unused bats when battling the Yankees. This game was a roundhouse kick to the athletic supporter that (hopefully) will set the tone for the series.

Josh “Striking Crane” Beckett had first inning troubles again (Giambi HR) but settled down and was badass (6 hits, 3 runs, 7 K) through 7 innings. Keith “Sleeping Tiger” Foulke worked a scoreless 8th (he owes Wily Mo a beer for a run saving catch) and by the 9th the game was so out of hand that Rudy “Un-credited Stuntman” Seanez was called in to mop it up. The pitching really smashed the tough Yankee lineup.

The Sox offence was really the master of this tournament, though. Everyone who had an AB got on base at least once including Mohr, Snow and Harris. Out of the 12 guys that came to the plate, only Wily Mo, Tek and Youk failed to score. Mike “Double Dragon” Lowell, in an unending quest to stuff it down the gullet of everyone who said he was “done”, hit 2 more 2 baggers. And in some truly bizarre news, ensuring that the apocalypse is now upon us, the biggest offensive warrior was none other than "The Fielder” Alex Gonzalez. He was 2 for 4, had 3 runs, 3 RBI, 2 walks and his homerun in the 5th was absolutely CRUSHED. Who is this guy and what happened to the .100 hitter that was in line to be replaced by Alex Cora? Where did he go and can he stay there?

But the Red Sox also had help in this monumental slaughter. Johnson, Small and Sturtz looked really bad and the lineup pounced on em like David Wells at a Krispy Kreme. Also, the Yankees defense was about as bad as you can be without having an investigation to see if players got paid off to lose. RJ had 2 wild pitches, E-Rod made 2 costly errors at third and Melky Cabrera fought with the wind and lost a Manny pop up in the 4th. Thanks for the 6 unearned runs… I feel bad I didn’t get you anything. I guess you can have the big honking “L” because it looks like you’ve really earned it.

Well tomorrow it’s another game against Cobra Kai. Shilling tests his martial arts mastery against Mussina at 7. Let's keep the 2 touchdown scores a'comin.

GO SOX.

Game 30: Frampton (and the Offence) Comes Alive!

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 9, Baltimore Orioles 3

Do you feel like we do?

I love hitting. No, really… I LOVE IT. I am really fond of good pitching and I know that’s what wins games, but good hitting is what you WATCH the games for. If baseball was NASCAR, big hits would be crashes. If baseball was football, hits are touchdown dances. If baseball was golf, then hits would be inclement weather. Anyway, that’s why I have been a little uncomfortable with the 2006 “Pitching and Fielding Only” Red Sox. That’s not fun to watch! What is this, the National League?

So when the Sox get some amazing run support for Wake and beat some Orange Birds red, I get excited. The Wake himself was pretty good over 7 innings and his knuckle children were darting all over the place (wait… ewwww). You can really notice Belli’s influence on Wakes stuff, or maybe it’s just the fact that the crowd isn’t holding its breath after every pitch. I know it’s not really Bard’s fault, but I don’t think Wake had a chance to win 10 games with him crawling after every low pitch. Now I think he has a shot at 15.

Then there was the lumber. In the 2nd they kept the line moving and ended up with a 5 spot. Then Manny hooked his big bat up to a whammy bar and went WHAM to a Manon pitch in the 4th. It ended up about 20 feet OVER the monster. But it really was the bottom of the order that was on fire. Pena, Nixon, Belli and yes, Gonzo got a combined 7 hits and 5 RBI. A-Gon even got his average up to a whopping .207. Can you say batting title?

So in a blow out like this you don’t expect much drama… unless you are a member of the Red Sox bullpen. Then you pack drama in with your rosin bags. In the 8th Matos got plugged on the butt by Tavarez. Smiling and talking, Matos trotted slowly to first. Tavarez thought he said something about “mothers” or “track lighting” but couldn’t make it out so he walked over and said something like “whatchoo talkin bout Matos?” Then the benches cleared! No punches, not even much yelling, but with Tavarez you can never be too careful.

More drama came in the 9th when Francona decided that 6 runs were enough of a barrier for Rudy “Rudeboy” Seanez to pitch and not ruin everything. He was perfect, but that’s not the point. Every time this guy enters the game… my balls recede up into my body. He is that AWFUL. His presence on the field (even in a blowout) sucks the life and fun out of a game. He’s like the anti-Viagra.

Luckily, this time it ended up as a great game anyway. Tomorrow it’s the final with DiNards going against Mr. Anna Benson.

Woke up this morning with a wine glass in my hand
Whose wine, what wine, where the hell did I dine?
Must have been a dream I don’t believe where I’ve been
Come on - you wanna do it again?

Yes I do Mr. Frampton. Let’s get that sweep! GO SOX!

Taking Stock

A nice day off before the road trip continues and I think it’s about time we sit back and look at how things have been going thus far. In order by jersey number:

2 Willie Harris: Who? Oh, the guy who replaced Adam Stern. He can run, field, and not hit. Didn’t we already have a guy like that? OH YEAH! Adam Stern.

3 Mark Loretta: I am loving what I see from this guy. He’s a timely hitter, a patient hitter, a good fielder and a snappy dresser. Whatever he does, he does it professionally. He has drawn some favorable comparisons to the dear departed Billy Mueller and that’s a damn good thing.

7 Trot Nixon: He missed some starts due to a leg injury, he has been platooning with Wily Mo and his hat is looking really gross. All that stuff aside, Trot is killing the ball. This guy is still as hard-nosed as ever and some decreased playing time won’t affect his impact on the lineup. When he’s actually playing, that is.

10 Coco Crisp: Broke his finger on April 8th and got an extension on his contract anyway. The front office obviously likes what they’ve seen with him and is willing to go the distance. I just want to see him back in the line up. Youk has done a great job replacing him, but I would like to see a little more action from the guy we are sticking with through 2008.

11 Alex Gonzalez: This guy is wearing a big sign that says “As Advertised”. A-Gon is a fielding wiz who is second to none in the infield. As an upgrade over Rent (remember that terror?) he is irreplaceable in the field. At the plate? Not so much. As of right now he is batting just over his weight… but it’s a long season.

16 David Wells: Looks like he just about ate himself out of a starting spot. This Hungry Hungry Hippo is on the DL for who-knows how long. The current rumor is that he might retire and be done with it. Well, that’s just freaking great. I know it’s a near physical impossibility, but try not to let the door hit your huge ass on the way out.

18 Dustin Mohr: He has been doing a serviceable job replacing Coco in center. In reality he’s another guy who can’t really hit. How’s that finger, Coco?

19 Josh Beckett: Except for a small (and hopefully not TELLING) breakdown in Toronto, Josh has been “Ace the Second”. He is 3-0, has a 2.54 ERA, eats gun powder and farts fire. If he and Schill can stay healthy, it’s the best one/two punch of any staff in the league.

20 Kevin Youkilis: His emergence has been one of the bright spots with this Red Sox team. Getting the leadoff spot with Coco hurt has really helped Youk as a hitter and he has been taking advantage of the AB’s. He has been great with the glove at first base too. Finding the right batting order for him when Coco does return could be a problem.

22 Wily Mo Pena: The fielding mishaps are well documented, but can be explained away by youth, lack of experience and plain old nerves. The hitting is what the Sox got this guy for and that’s what needs to pick up soon. If he gets the AB’s, he has an outside shot at 200 strikeouts. Take a pitch, Wily.

23 Alex Cora: Remember him? Cora is the guy who usually rounds out the worst lineups this team can field. As an offensive step down from A-Gon, Francona usually puts him in the game when he is resting somebody else in the infield or if he has money riding on the opposing team.

24 Manny Ramirez: Oh thank God he is starting to hit. Manny is just about to settle into one of those grooves where he hits everything that can possibly be pitched. Once he really gets off on a tear maybe everyone will forget he is wearing a ski cap under his helmet. Probably not.

25 Mike Lowell: Not a Zombie! He is actually alive and hitting. Lowell is a doubles machine and can still field like a Gold Glover. Check back in September to see if he's still this hot, but as of right now it’s nothing but an improvement over his dismal 2005 showing.

29 Keith Foulke: Losing his job to Papelbon might have been the best thing for him. As a middle reliever, Foulke has pretty much been top notch. It’s also very comforting to know that when he comes into a game there are other options if he screws up. VERY comforting.

30 Matt Clement: As the number 3 starter he makes a pretty good number 5 starter. Clement has been inconsistent so far this year. He always allows a ton of base runners but has been getting better about not letting them score all the time. He just better not collapse down the stretch like he did last year. Duck this time, Matty.

33 Jason Varitek: He has had a slow start and it might have to do with a pain in his ass. No really, his butt hurts. Tek should be able to find his swing once his embarrassing muscle pull is healed up and the sooner the better. His new back up (Bard) is having problems of his own.

34 David Ortiz: Papi got a contract and he will be OUR Papi for many years to come. Thank goodness too, because with Manny being in prolonged slump, he has been carrying this team offensively. This guy does everything (except play the field). He even bunted through the shift on the same day he hit one out. He’s a beast, he’s a monster, he’s Big Papi.

37 Rudy Seanez: This guy stinks. He needs to be taken out into the back woods of West Virginia where he can find some nice hillbilly to make him his “Wilderness Bride”. Hey there Rudy…you gots a purdy mouth.

38 Curt Schilling: The prognosis on Schill after last year was not good. He looked hurt, old and just about done. Now at 4-0 with an ERA well below Wells pant size, I think Schill just told every one to “shut the hell up”. He also said a bunch of other stuff, then he said it on the radio, and then on TV, and on the internet, and in the paper, and I bet he would come to your house and say stuff too. Thanks for your input, Schill.

39 Adam Stern: He fields like the Canadian Olympian we remember from the WBC. Unfortunately, he hits like the Canadian Olympian we remember from women’s figure skating. Tito sent him to AAA to get some more AB’s. Keep swinging, Stern.

46 Jermaine Van Buren: One performance in a losing game and he gets shipped back to AAA and replaced by Delcarmen. To tell you the truth, if he wasn’t named for a president, I would have no idea who this guy is.

49 Tim Wakefield: He has pitched MUCH better than his 1-3 record indicates. Wake has had NO run support and is working with a new catcher that can’t…well…CATCH. I hope circumstances improve for our boy Wake, because he could easily be 3-1 right now.

50 Mike Timlin: A bullpen staple for years, Timlin is starting to show his age. Maybe it was all the extra work in the WBC, maybe it’s still the stigma he has with inherited runners, and although his record doesn’t show it, he has looked less and less reliable as the games progress. This bullpen has enough problems and doesn’t need its veteran to break down.

51 Julian Tavarez: From Williams to Rice, Pedro to Manny, the Red Sox and their fans have always put up with the anti-social crazy types as long as they get the job done. If Tavarez keeps pitching like a gimp, he is going to lose his immunity. Ask Carl Everett what that’s like.

54 David Riske: Pitched like crap in one game and then went on the DL. Maybe he should change his name to Sucke.

55 Lenny DiNardo: A lefty who was to be the long reliever in the pen and is now spot starting for Wells. DiNards got put in a tough situation and is doing what he can. Too bad he’s not that good. Why did we trade Bronson again?

58 Jonathan Papelbon: 11.1 innings and still no runs. 8 saves, 9 strikeouts, but not a run to be seen. He made a bet with Youk that he could go 10 innings scoreless, he won and now he looks like this. I can no longer think logically about this guy. He is just too awesome.

77 Josh Bard: His only job is to catch a knuckle ball and hit every 5 days. It’s not working out so far. Bard is just one bad start away from Tek sneaking into his hotel room and giving him the “Code Red” from A Few Good Men: “General Wakefield did you order the Code Red?” “YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!”

84 J.T. Snow: A first base defensive master who was to offset the lack of experience Youk had at the position. Yet it turns out Youk has been great at first base and he is MUCH better than the weak hitting Snow at the plate. Sucks to be you, J.T.

Well that’s everyone who’s had any playing time this year. It’s been a great season so far and the Red Sox have started it by leading the AL East. I hope the front office can patch some of the holes and the Sox can continue rolling along. Tomorrow Schilling goes for win #5 in Cleveland. GO SOX.

Game 17: The First of the Year

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 6, Toronto Blue Jays 7

But we… he could… why the… but he… son-of-a…!!

If you have watched the Red Sox for any amount of time in the last 4 years, you might recognize this type of game. The winnable, the lost, the ashamed. This game should have been OVER (that’s O-V-A-R, over) for Josh Beckett’s 4th win. He and Schilling would have been tied and I would have done this song and dance about how “Josh looked shaky but the hitting pulled him out of it”. Yeah well… enter Mike Timlin with a man on. Better yet, enter Rudy “Somebody put me out to pasture” Seanez in the 12th inning. I am as mad as I have ever been. Yeah I know it’s April. Shut up!

Eric is the logical one. He is they guy who would say “Manny hit 2 homers tonight! He went back to back with Papi” or “Beckett had a quality start and didn’t get the loss” or “Don’t scratch that rash! It will just spread” but I don’t care. I know/feel/use my arcane sense when the Sox lose a winnable game. I understand when to find comfort in stats and when to drink to forget a loss. This was the latter. Call me a problem drinker. I drink when the Red Sox have problems.

I don’t even want to go into what a THRILLER this game was. 12 innings and the bullpen keeps it in sight? What a nail biter! But the fact is the Sox lost their first 1 run game of the year, and that hurts.

Tomorrow it is a rare TRAP game for an opposing team. The recuperating Cy Young candidate Roy Halladay vs Lenny “Not Fatso” DiNardo. On paper a mismatch, but payback’s a bitch. GO SOX!

Game 4: Grind It Out

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 14, Baltimore Orioles 8


Ah, those long grinders. Although it’s always nice when the good guys score early and often, it doesn’t make for a particularly exciting game. After the initial burst of Red Sox runs, where the Boston offense lit up Cabrera like fireworks on the Esplanade on July 4th, the fun was mostly in watching Clement work – one or two hits and a walk through six innings as Ole Matty made the Baltimore hitters look foolish. By the seventh, though, Clement started to tire, pitches started to hang and the Orioles started building a comeback. Not a real comeback, mind you; just enough to make the game drag for the next three innings. Rudy Seanez came in to put out the fire or, if you prefer, waste outs and absorb runs (four runs on six hits before he got all three outs in eighth). By the time Foulke came on for a confidence building nearly perfect ninth, the end was just a matter of time. Really slow time.

Obviously, tonight was a breakout night for the offense picking on some weak pitching, but with luck, it’s the start of some momentum: Lowell went two for three, Youkilis had a perfect night with a walk, three hits and two runs, Nixon hit home run number two and Manny rocked the house with three hits, three runs, two RBI and a walk…and he ran out a single that shot down the left field line and off of Matos’ glove at third like he would go for a double if possible. In other words, he’s motivated and that’s always good for Red Sox bats.

Tomorrow afternoon at 4:35, the rotation starts over again as Schilling goes for win number two against Bruce Chen, pride of Panama. When Chen is on he throws a pretty good game, so this should be a good match up. We’ll see if fourteen runs tonight kills the offense for tomorrow, or if Boston can keep the momentum going. GO SOX!!!