Boston Red Sox 14, New York Yankees 3
The Red Sox showed the unrelenting will of the warrior This was one of those “statement” games. A “statement” to everyone who thinks the Red Sox look weak and thinks the lineup has huge holes. It’s a message to everyone like Mike Vaccaro (you filth) who want to hit our batters so they soften up. It’s a warning to everyone who thought the sweep would be easy for New York. Ah grasshopper, you forgot one thing. The Red Sox Kung Fu is now stronger in the Bronx Dojo. The Sox powerful chi flows freely through even the most unused bats when battling the Yankees. This game was a roundhouse kick to the athletic supporter that (hopefully) will set the tone for the series.
Josh “Striking Crane” Beckett had first inning troubles again (Giambi HR) but settled down and was badass (6 hits, 3 runs, 7 K) through 7 innings. Keith “Sleeping Tiger” Foulke worked a scoreless 8th (he owes Wily Mo a beer for a run saving catch) and by the 9th the game was so out of hand that Rudy “Un-credited Stuntman” Seanez was called in to mop it up. The pitching really smashed the tough Yankee lineup.
The Sox offence was really the master of this tournament, though. Everyone who had an AB got on base at least once including Mohr, Snow and Harris. Out of the 12 guys that came to the plate, only Wily Mo, Tek and Youk failed to score. Mike “Double Dragon” Lowell, in an unending quest to stuff it down the gullet of everyone who said he was “done”, hit 2 more 2 baggers. And in some truly bizarre news, ensuring that the apocalypse is now upon us, the biggest offensive warrior was none other than "The Fielder” Alex Gonzalez. He was 2 for 4, had 3 runs, 3 RBI, 2 walks and his homerun in the 5th was absolutely CRUSHED. Who is this guy and what happened to the .100 hitter that was in line to be replaced by Alex Cora? Where did he go and can he stay there?
But the Red Sox also had help in this monumental slaughter. Johnson, Small and Sturtz looked really bad and the lineup pounced on em like David Wells at a Krispy Kreme. Also, the Yankees defense was about as bad as you can be without having an investigation to see if players got paid off to lose. RJ had 2 wild pitches, E-Rod made 2 costly errors at third and Melky Cabrera fought with the wind and lost a Manny pop up in the 4th. Thanks for the 6 unearned runs… I feel bad I didn’t get you anything. I guess you can have the big honking “L” because it looks like you’ve really earned it.
Well tomorrow it’s another game against Cobra Kai. Shilling tests his martial arts mastery against Mussina at 7. Let's keep the 2 touchdown scores a'comin.
GO SOX.
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