Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Game 55: The Witness #2… Some things you can’t UN-see

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 5, New York Yankees 13

Short takes from my long night

When my buddy (and Yankee season ticket holder) Mike asked which game I wanted to see this week, I was quick to answer “OH definitely the Beckett and Mussina pitchers duel!” In hindsight I’m not sure if that’s funny or sad.

The Yankees have a pre-game announcement warning patrons to watch out for lost children. I think all unclaimed children will be used to bolster the Yankee farm teams. Isn’t that how they got Melky Cabrera?

Speaking of Melky, in the 1st he scored from first on a wild pitch while the BEST DEFENCE IN THE MAJORS managed to look like a bad tee-ball team.

Tek gets the go ahead run home in the second while hitting into a double play. Even from the stands you can see he is laboring. Time to give him a few days off.

Total meltdown. Beckett is throwing everything right over the plate and it is ALL getting tattooed. 7 earned runs too late, Francona wakes up and replaces him with Van Buren. If this was Clement, I would cite Barbaro and make a joke about Tito using a shotgun and a glue factory to “take care” of the pitching problem. I think Beckett gets put out to stud.

Van Buren isn’t much better. It’s only the second inning and I have bought so much beer that I’m almost out of money. Ballparks should give discounts to fans during blowouts. No… that won’t work. That would bankrupt the Royals in a week.

Manny just got ROBBED by Damon. I think I just cracked a molar clenching my teeth.

The Sox manage to get out of the 3rd… OR DO THEY??? Cairo apparently kicked a ball still in play and is called out. The ball is dead, but Tek still tries to throw out Bernie at second? When he does so… the Sox leave the field, falsely victorious. After a 4 umpire conference, Bernie is back on first and the whole Sox defense has to return to the field. The crowd goes nuts. I loose hair. 5 more runs score after this debacle.

Here comes Riske. He gets a big hand from the fans. Wait a minute… are they being humorously sarcastic? Well I NEVER!

This is a disaster. The Yankees are about one inning from throwing their scrubs on the field. Wait a minute… the scrubs started. Time for more beer.

Francona listened to me and gave Tek the rest of the night off and the same for Lowell and Manny. Belli responds to the unexpected opportunity by hitting a solo shot and J.T. Snow gets and RBI single while trying to up his trade value. Nice job guys. Too bad you’re still down a touchdown and two point conversion.

I slink out during the bottom of the 6th. I’ve seen enough. I feel guilty ditching a Sox game part of the way through, but this isn’t really fun anymore. The big scoring breaks are making fans drunk and hostile and Brooklyn is a long subway ride away.

Apparently Tavarez and Delcarmen were pretty good. I wouldn’t know… I was on the D Train by then.

I stumble home. I feel like a sex crime victim: frightened, woozy, in pain and trying desperately to forget the last few hours.

Fortunately, tomorrow is another day and another game. And tomorrow the Sox are rolling out the big guns with… David Pauley?

Sigh…GO SOX.