Sunday, May 04, 2008

Game 32: The 91 Million Dollar Offense

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 12, Tampa Bay Devil Rays 4

Coaches meeting in the Red Sox clubhouse, May 1, 2008:

Terry Francona: This has to stop. We've scored eight runs in five games. Farrell, your boys are doin' a heck of a job, but we're all gonna go gray if we keep playin' these nail biters. Dave, you called this meeting, what you got for us?

Hitting Coach Dave Magadan: The Red Sox offense, run scorers. A team barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild them. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's most explosive offense. The Red Sox will be that team. Better than they were before. Better, stronger, faster.

Other coaches: [expectant looks]

Dave Magadan: [sigh] And yes, no HGH or steroids involved. Jeez you guys, how stupid do you think I am?


Ok, so it probably didn't happen like that. In fact, I'm willing to bet that if anything, the Sox suddenly shot out of their mini slump over the past two games because they faced the same two pitchers two times in a row, and unlike Buchholz (who now knows better) and Beckett (who, in his awesomeness, could care less), those two pitchers didn't adjust their game to stay ahead of Boston's hitting. I'd say it's likely that if the run scoring continues today, it won't be anywhere close to the same pace as the past few days, what with the Sox facing an old nemesis (Kazmir), a sweep on the line, etc.

But you know what? Who cares! Less than a week after Rays fans were toting big yellow brooms to Tropicana Field, their team is facing a counter-sweep and a reminder that - while they're still very good, and while I continue to stand by my pick of third in the AL East - they're not quite the top of the heap just yet. Let's make Kazmir sorry he decided to come off the DL today, and give 'em the brooms!