Game 36: The Hell Game

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 9, Detroit Tigers 10

Honestly, I am such a ball of rage and fury right now that I can’t form real sentences. I’m gonna have to do this in bullet point form:

-Sox hot young arm vs Tigers junk ball pitcher. Trap game? Worse…
-Lowrie fell flat on his face running out of the box. Ugly start rookie.
-Buchholz hit like a no-armed prize fighter. Early and often.
-Sox bounce back. Keeping it close.
-I keep thinking Tigers have Andres Galarraga. But he’s retired… and doesn’t pitch.
-I hate Polanco. He kills us.
-YOUK! 2 homers?! That’s 3 in 2 days if you’re counting at home.
-Tavarez should be benched for any softball pitcher from any girls college.
-No way we can win this. Lopez and Aardsma warming. Forfeit to prevent any injuries?
-Tigers bullpen is awful. These guys miss the tank when pumping gas.
-This umpire needs a white cane. He strikezone is an amorphous blob.
-Ellsbury will never be caught stealing. He should rob banks.
-I can’t believe we are only down by 3 this could be…
-OMG!!!
-MIKE LOWELL
-MIKE “FREAKING” LOWELL 3 run HR TO TIE!!! 8-8!!
-Love this Tigers bullpen!
-Pedroia! Pinch hit go-ahead single! What a come back! What a game!
-Oki in trouble… strike ‘em out, throw ‘em out! WHAT A PLAY!
-Jim Leyland could have a stroke tonight.
-Can’t score off Todd Jones? I can’t believe he still plays this game.
-Papelbon in… game over…
-Wait what?
-Oh no
-Oh no
-MUST…KILL…JULIO LUGO.
-9th inning error (Lugo’s 10th on the year) cost us the lead. I want his freaking head.
-Lugo needs to be dropped in South Boston in full uniform. He wouldn’t make it 5 steps.
-Papelbon vs Polanco… oh no.
-Yep… Polanco kills us.
-First blown save and loss of the year for Papelbon. I’m sick.
-Check the box score. No earned runs for Papelbon. Lugo can die in a fire.
-How did they lose this??? HOW??
-I am switching between white knuckle rage and nausea. I can’t stand it.
-F*** you Lugo.
-Papelbon is just as mad… he’s ballistic in the clubhouse. Can’t blame him.
-Buchholz maybe hurt ankle? Great…
-I need to throw up. I only wish it was in Lugo’s hat. Somebody break his knees.