Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Game 137: Big Papi Wants YOU!

Final Score:

Boston Red Sox 3, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 2

Well, what do you do? The game is on the line. He's done it before. The ballpark can’t contain him. He won’t let down the thousands of screaming people. You can’t stop him. What do you do?

Put him on base? Ummm ok. Just remember that there's this guy named Manny Ramirez up next and he might take offence to the IBB.

Pitch him away? Sure that might work… in the 6th inning. But when you get to the 9th (and later) he’s more discerning than the tattooed music snob at your local record store. He won’t go chasing and he WON’T go looking. He will keep fouling off your mediocre pitches until one of you wins the battle (hint: it won’t be you).

Pitch him inside? Right under the arms. You’d think a big guy like that would have a huge hole in his swing there. Unfortunately for you, this big guy has hands quicker than a rattlesnake. He’ll get a piece off it or layoff the ones too far inside and wait for you to make a mistake, because as a matter of fact… he LIKES em a little inside. Call it his WHEELHOUSE.

Blow him away with your heat? Yeah, he probably won’t be able to keep up with the real hard ones. Great idea but first you should ask Scot Shields how that worked out for him. He knew right away that his 95 mph heater was going on a 470 ft trip as soon as it left the bat. He was in the visitors’ clubhouse before the run scored.

So, what do you do with the game on the line and David Ortiz staring at you? You sit back and watch one of the greatest clutch hitters ever. Watch as he puts on a show you’ll tell your kids about. Shows so grand, so amazing, and so unbelievable, that they make you forget all about stellar defense (in the 9th Olerud and Graffanino), the amazing starting pitching (Wakefield: CG win, 8 hits, 3 walks, 2 runs, 7 K), and even your rivals (Yankees Suck). All you remember is a slow jog home, the team waiting for him at home plate, and the crowd chanting: “PA-PI PA-PI PA-PI!!”