Thursday, September 27, 2007

Game 159: Damn Twinkies

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 4, Minnesota Twins 5

Well eff all that noise. Seriously, that was so completely the opposite of what I wanted, it's not only a clear sign that baseball gods exist, but that they either hate me, or they're really spiteful bastards. I mean, come on: all I wanted was for Boston to win, the Yankees to lose, and the Sox to clinch the AL East before tomorrow night, when I spend the evening in the Bronx helping my brother-in-law celebrate the wonders of legalized drinking. Making Josh Beckett a 21 game winner would have been icing on the cake, but totally unnecessary. So, to recap: win, necessary. Clinch, necessary. 21 game winner, cool, but not a vital part of my weekend. Damn Twinkies.

Instead: Beckett surrendering the lead in the first with a single and a triple, then pitching in a manner totally uninspiring and, quite frankly, completely unlike what he's been doing in the past two months. Bonser, the Boof Man himself, ripe and ready for a Boston-sponsored beat down (in a way Baseball Reference tells he was not before), throwing 40 million pitches in the first inning, escaping with two runs, and then turning into Cy Young himself in the middle of the unexpected pouring rain. The offense...ah, the offense. Two double plays, and twelve men left on base? Sounds about right. Damn Twinkies.

But the worst - the real worst - was how this little soul death ended. Bases loaded, one out, Boston ready to strike...and no one could pull the trigger. Or they (Kevin Youkilis) did - the official record says he struck out swinging - but really, I think that umpire just wanted to go home, because he was way too interested in calling strikes that didn't seem to exist. And there's no way Youkilis went around on that last swing. But you know what? Like I said, eff all that noise. We'll get 'em against tomorrow. And Saturday, too, if necessary. And really, damn those Twinkies.