Saturday, September 29, 2007

Game 160: Step One… Win the AL East

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 5, Minnasota Twins 2

Frankly, I’m still in shock. I’m not usually one of those pessimistic Sox fans (more like suicidal) but with this crazy up and down season, I wouldn’t put it past Boston to find a way to blow this. Even after the Sox knocked down the Twins, I was bemoaning the fact that we would have to find a way to pull another one out because LORD KNOWS the Yankees won’t drop one to that disaster of a Baltimore team…

Wait… excuse me? Are you kidding me? Are you pulling my chain? Yanking my crank? Touching me in an inappropriate manner that you will later blame on booze, but I’ll know that you’re just a weirdo and then I’ll need years of therapy?

I seriously didn’t expect a 9th inning Yankees collapse to catapult the Sox into the AL East title for the first time in 12 years. I’ve always HOPED… but never expected. What happened to Rivera and the rest of that that bullpen? The Joba rules better go out the window in the postseason cause there is NOBODY in that pen that is worthwhile besides that tub-o-rookie.

But let me digress a second. Before any awesome screen watching could take place, the Sox first had to take care of business at home. Cue Dice-K, Lowell and Big Papi. The Asian Import finally found his groove again and locked up his 15th win with a 7 inning, 8K performance. Meanwhile, Lowell and Papi were a two man wrecking crew. You want runs? These primetime players got the runs. Mix this all with a healthy dash of Papelbon (37th save) and call that a win, a division title and a 6 foot Red Sox erection with a big shiny B on the tip. Title clinching should come in a little blue pill. I can’t believe it’s been 12 years since we’ve popped one of those suckers.

So in the wildness of my baseball priapism I almost forgot about a bunch of other interesting things that happened today:

Papi now the DH double king. He passed Edgar Martinez with his 51st two bagger of the season in the DH spot.

Dice-K first 200K rookie since Kerry Wood. Pretty damn impressive.

Clay Buchholz shut down for the season. The “No Hit Kid” has shoulder fatigue and is done till spring training. Gonna miss you in the postseason, but we shall solider on.

So now what’s in store for the Sox while we wait to face the Angels in the ALDS? Well the best record in the AL would be nice, but I expect the Sox to flash a little “season shutdown” mojo in these last two games. No use stretching anyone too thin before the real fun begins.

Deep breaths… we have crossed into the other side. The land of milk and honey is just over the rise and the shores of redemption are nearer still. It’s amazing when I think back on the effect this season has had on me. I have been pulled back to Boston, seen almost every good pint glass I own break under the stress (my stress), scared the bejeezus out of most of my friends and neighbors with a healthy showing of crazy, and lost about 35% of my liver function all due to the Red Sox.
Was it worth it you ask? All I can say is:

So far… so good.